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Rain🖍️
@rain-wantsahug.bsky.social
17
They/xe/ze/she
I will block you if you're weird.
🇵🇭🇺🇸
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December 25, 2025 at 6:30 PM
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JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else https://theonion.com/jd-vance-cries-in-bathroom-after-trump-uses-piggy-nickname-on-someone-else/
November 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM
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Steak ’N Shake Employee Screams After Nude RFK Jr. Climbs Out Of Beef Tallow Fryer
Steak ’N Shake Employee Screams After Nude RFK Jr. Climbs Out Of Beef Tallow Fryer
SOUTH BEND, IN—Expressing horror at the sight of the health secretary’s bare torso emerging from the vat of grease, a local Steak ’n Shake employee reportedly screamed Friday after a nude Robert F. Ke...
theonion.com
November 21, 2025 at 8:16 PM
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“I asked ChatGPT!” “I asked Grok!” Yeah, well I asked FR3-D1 and he said “.jmj error” and then read me a story about a man who turned into a tree.
July 18, 2025 at 10:46 AM
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Elon Musk Weeps, For There Are No More Women To Impregnate
Elon Musk Weeps, For There Are No More Women To Impregnate
AUSTIN, TX—Realizing that every uterus had already been conquered, Tesla CEO Elon Musk reportedly wept Wednesday, for there were no more women for him to impregnate. “I have sown the many fields with ...
theonion.com
July 9, 2025 at 2:59 PM
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The Onion’s Summer Box Office Preview
theonion.com/the-oni...
July 3, 2025 at 9:00 PM
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How Deportation Works
theonion.com/how-dep...
May 1, 2025 at 8:00 PM
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Elon Musk Creates Federal Employee Revenge Porn Database
April 30, 2025 at 5:00 PM
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Ask your doctor for the codephrase. Make sure they are not an imposter.
April 30, 2025 at 5:02 PM
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Sleep Experts Suggest Cutting Back On God’s Light Before Bed
theonion.com/sleep-e...
April 30, 2025 at 8:00 PM
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The wise man sees there is two sides to every issue: my way or the freakin highway bud.
April 25, 2025 at 5:04 PM
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Food Stamps: Myth Vs. Fact
theonion.com/food-st...
April 2, 2025 at 7:00 PM
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I know being visible is hard right now, and you’re no less valid for having to hide. Deep down, know that this is your day too. I love you x
March 31, 2025 at 10:11 AM
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i know i’m about to start my period because i keep crying over the baby ghast
March 23, 2025 at 7:04 PM
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March 14, 2025 at 10:15 PM
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Report: More Americans Moving Away From Urban Areas For Rural Life Where They Have Escalating Feud With Beaver
theonion.com/report-...
March 14, 2025 at 9:00 PM
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March 5, 2025 at 6:00 PM
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The Magnus Protocol returns this week for the start of its second season. 👁

Hope you're all ready for a veritable terrormisu of horrors!

#TMagP
February 24, 2025 at 12:29 AM
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Oh yeah, Protocol returns this week. How we feeling?
February 23, 2025 at 11:47 AM
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Stomp and smell the flowers
February 21, 2025 at 5:00 PM
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❤️Happy Black History Month!❤️
February 1, 2025 at 10:34 PM
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Reporters: Please stop calling things DEI that are not DEI. This is only cementing the propaganda being used to legitimize the dismantling of all types of initiatives that are not DEI as well as legitimize efforts to end civil rights enforcement. Be specific with your language. Be accurate.
January 29, 2025 at 7:26 PM
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January 29, 2025 at 8:28 PM