Me: concert tickets are too expensive, I ain’t doing this.

(Child starts to like My Chemical Romance)

Also me: why not browse stub hub and just see what’s happening. I mean baby’s first concert should be a cool one 💀

“Return of the Mack” foretold the infamous Fleetwood Mac performance of Silver Springs in 1997.

It’s weird when Stephen A. Smith is talking to someone who is not also shouting. It’s the auditory equivalent of seeing Shaq next to The General.

The U.S. government, getting to the bottom of the impending global financial collapse.

My friend passed away March 8th. I’m in this weird denial phase where I’m like “ok we all learned our lesson now come on back.” When I keep saying it doesn’t feel real, it’s because I still expect a text like all this was a temporary glitch. I’m so sad.

I just saw a white dude wearing an OVO jacket. Brotha ew.

“Don’t talk to anyone asking about your friends’ immigration status.” And “cops aren’t always your friends” is the worst convo of the week I had to have with my child.

Who needs to do drugs when there’s videos of ducks eating peas?

My daughter has set a huge goal of selling 500 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. What’s your favorite? digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/elizab...

Bluesky is pronounced like bruski.

Everyone and everything is circling back and I am in ruins.

where does the new york times even find these people

I guess mine is American Monster.

Love when ppl compliment my skin and tell me they thought I was much younger. Makes me feel like I tricked them like the old bog witch I truly am.

I feel like it’s easier to crack open a chocolate orange than it used to be.