Treat your woman like a princess (marry her off to an inbred duke to secure a military alliance)

youre based or whatever but incredibly annoying and i hope you die

hidden three taps deep in every young man’s cell phone is a twelve leg parlay with significant undertones of scientific racism

The only way for drake to claw himself out from the bottom of this well is to make a ska record

You used to call me on my self-own

big day coming up for people who like dinner

while dating: my beauotiful girlfriend,

while engaged: my perfect fiancee,

5 minutes into being married: my bitch wife,

I'm practicing levels of haterism virtually unknown to the normal person. I'm in a fight with a songbird

In the center of the Zone is the Room, inside of which lies the thing you most desire (hot dog that regenerates every time you take a bite)

me on twitter: i’m never leaving. i’m not locked in here with you. you’re locked in here with me 😈

me on bluesky: it’s sooo refreshing to leave the hellsite and start over. good vibes! we’re all lowbies now 😃

me on the maplestory forum i’ve been posting on since 2003: Im Going To Kill You For Real

I don’t need to go on social media to have my worldview challenged I am in theoretical physics I have a new existential crisis daily

List of Male Fidget Toys:
- Cigarette lighter port
- Tape measure
- .22 Revolver cylinder

No one told me that in Megalopolis Shia LaBeouf/Clodius Pulcher attempts to frame Catilina/Adam Driver while crossdressing and says, out loud, that “revenge tastes best while wearing a dress”

forgetting your headphones at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times

Would you rather be a skeleton playing another skeletons ribs like a xylophone or a frog in a hat dancing vaudeville style. You can be honest with me