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presiden.cy
peeing at work urinal w/ pants around ankles
@presiden.cy
Changing the world one post at a time.

(OVLH)
[posting a photo of my baby on a public forum] check out my baby
July 25, 2025 at 7:29 PM
I was published in The Guardian. I’ve been working on this for years.
July 11, 2025 at 7:27 PM
The United States has dropped one of its 13,000kg bunker busters on Fordham University. In a shock revelation, Congress had convened at midnight and actually voted to approve the strike.
June 22, 2025 at 12:49 PM
I don’t like how noisy this cookie jar is.
June 19, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Bruce Springsteen has been playing music for 120 years. How is anyone still surprised at his politics.
May 31, 2025 at 9:56 AM
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Dodgers broadcast was discussing the science behind the perception of time between children and adults. After hearing the explanation, the color commentator pauses and asks, "Am I gonna feel any better?"

Andy Pages then smashes a dinger into space, thus ending the existential crisis on commentary.
May 16, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Excited for every news organization on the planet to start referring to US citizens in their headlines as “homegrown”
April 14, 2025 at 5:20 PM
When the revolution happens, IT professionals who developed employee tracking software will go on trial at the hague.
April 10, 2025 at 8:04 AM
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I need a better way to explain that the reason I am working from home is that “my wife got rear ended”
April 8, 2025 at 11:42 AM
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This is really unfair to everyone who just voted for him for the racism.
April 7, 2025 at 12:18 AM
You ever meet someone in life and you see them ponder a question or problem and their answer is so unexpectedly good and incise that you know instantly they are operating at a higher brain power and complexity than you and that you just gotta hand it to them? Trump is the opposite of that.
April 3, 2025 at 3:56 AM
oh no now no one can buy anything exported from america (???)
April 3, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Is it possible to feel bad for a bank?
April 1, 2025 at 12:37 PM
i’ll give $1 million to the first wisconsin cop to arrest elon musk
March 29, 2025 at 6:53 PM
I’m begging broadcasters to turn off the strike zone box. It sucks. It’s always sucked. It’s distracting and ugly, it takes the fun out of it. And umpires are better now than they’ve ever been, we don’t need it.
March 27, 2025 at 7:19 PM
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For opening day 100 years ago, the Inquirer wrote about “Old King Baseball”
March 27, 2025 at 12:44 PM
I haven’t answered your text yet because I’m downloading the movie Orange County to get a screenshot for a joke reply I want to make that is not particularly funny.
March 18, 2025 at 6:31 PM
A female from the middle east doing trans stuff? Deported.
March 17, 2025 at 1:21 PM
I need Severance but for the gym.
February 25, 2025 at 9:53 AM
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they used to make shirts that fit guys who were too busy or important to do pushups, but not anymore
February 22, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Elon Musk, dead. No known age, just says here “he didn’t look young at all”
February 21, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Office manager restocks the snack area and now I need to casually stroll by and grab a mini can of Pringles. Hell, I guess if they’re here and I’m here anyway might as well.
February 19, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Dream: Musk is gonna rip the wrong guy’s budget at the pentagon and get hit with a heart attack gun

Reality: Military contracts start going to SpaceX and they become the next Boeing
February 15, 2025 at 5:39 AM