I AM ON DEADLINE

"This won't take that long"

AND I AM PRETTY SURE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE WILL NOT APPROVE MY EXPENSE CLAIM

"Sure they will!"

A little drop

For flavour

"Maybe"

HOW MUCH COFFEE HAVE YOU HAD TODAY

"Anyway, I already have our tickets booked, see you at the airport in an hour"

MULDER THAT'S NOT A REAL CRYPTID

"Only one way to find out"

YOU CANNOT USE TAXPAYER MONEY FOR THIS

Mulder: *tossing a file folder across the desk at you* Ever heard of the Coffeesnatcher?

OR

perhaps... the botulism

A little sip!

Yes that's because you're a demon-style thingy from an M.R. James story

"2400 year old unearthed soup" is just lunch

This is what I was afraid of

I *used* to have a penguin hot water bottle but now I do not

*faint shriek* THE TINY STARFISHIES

No I've never seen him raise a paw to her! (In the early days I was like "Fiasco PLEASE bap her, you need to establish boundaries but also you have to teach her how to cat")

They have their moments but she wants to cuddle SO BADLY and he's like "NAY, NO CUDDLES"

NOOOO HE'S SO CUTE

They have been playing together all day but he's like "No I draw the line at snuggles, HARD LINE, NO SNUGGLES"

My poor neglected babygirl 😭

"Where is her equally soft and warm brother" He is literally lying UNDER THE DESK because she doesn't like to lie down there

FIASCO JUST LET HER CUDDLE YOU

THE HOUSE IS CHILLY

social media protip: if you aren’t offputting & rude in people’s replies, then they won’t “put you on blast” 😇