I feel prettier than normal today why is no one pegging me rn ?!?!

DEM SENATOR: Well there’s always next time 😃 a hearty “good game” to my colleagues across the aisle as they shepherd our great nation in the spirit of collaboration and teamwork! 🦅🫡
REPUBLICAN SENATOR: Does anyone know when it’s technically legal for me to kill this [SLUR NO ONE HAS SAID SINCE 1889]

Yo my b for having a sparkling clean mega buster wombo combo gorilla grip bussy guys i didn't do it on purpose

The owner of this account is currently wearing booty shorts and a crop top !

May Allah's light save me im planning on talking to a woman today

all the gays are getting hairier i’ll be holding down the smooth fort for now

I need her to tell me im doing a good job while I give them the worst head of her life

sneaking downstairs on christmas eve and finding santa, jack skellington, and the grinch exploring each other’s bodies

Sometimes i feel like im the only 6'2 astrojacked corset wearing black nails pierced ear irelia yoru two trick with veiny hands, sucks being alone but w/e 🫤

I love saying the word exacerbate like I know what the fuck fancy words are. I’ll toss that into anything. Don’t exacerbate that sandwich by putting on too much mustard. What are you gonna do? Challenge me, the man who used the fancy word?

Feeling warm and toasty rn gm team wish me luck i gotta think of one liners so my friends dont leave

Shaving my head rn outa fear of a ratatouille taking control

Its 3:08 and i need to peg someone in the ass RIGHT NOW!!!

“you’re so quiet” shut up im trying to count the bugs in my pocket

Are u a colt 45 cus i wanna bang u against a wall

Foreplay idea where i tell her that its actually my first time with an erection and it REALLY HURTS and then i start screaming