People's Office of Optimized Productivity (POOP)
@poophq.bsky.social
The people didn't vote for us to break everything with weaponized incompetence, but we're gonna do it anyway
Parody account. It's just a joke bro
Parody account. It's just a joke bro
Nah it's fine, we're optimizing efficiencies and finding fraud! Besides, you won't need money once we've optimized all of your cash into the toilet! :💸 💸 🚽 🤝
March 13, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Nah it's fine, we're optimizing efficiencies and finding fraud! Besides, you won't need money once we've optimized all of your cash into the toilet! :💸 💸 🚽 🤝
Eh, we took a poll and think he kinda looks like a toilet brush
(Source: We're literally the POOP department)
(Source: We're literally the POOP department)
March 13, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Eh, we took a poll and think he kinda looks like a toilet brush
(Source: We're literally the POOP department)
(Source: We're literally the POOP department)
Wow, you nailed the branding - you're hired!
...Oh wait, sorry we don't have headcount actually. Lol you're fired~ <3
(aactually give me 10 minutes to confirm someting lol)
...Oh wait, sorry we don't have headcount actually. Lol you're fired~ <3
(aactually give me 10 minutes to confirm someting lol)
March 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Wow, you nailed the branding - you're hired!
...Oh wait, sorry we don't have headcount actually. Lol you're fired~ <3
(aactually give me 10 minutes to confirm someting lol)
...Oh wait, sorry we don't have headcount actually. Lol you're fired~ <3
(aactually give me 10 minutes to confirm someting lol)
Can't wait! ;)
March 6, 2025 at 5:52 AM
Can't wait! ;)
Oh c'mon, those were just honest mistakes!
...well they are now, since everyone found out and everything LOL #twelvedimensionalchess #definitelynotmorons
...well they are now, since everyone found out and everything LOL #twelvedimensionalchess #definitelynotmorons
March 3, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Oh c'mon, those were just honest mistakes!
...well they are now, since everyone found out and everything LOL #twelvedimensionalchess #definitelynotmorons
...well they are now, since everyone found out and everything LOL #twelvedimensionalchess #definitelynotmorons
You're not supposed to *remember* the things he says! Just be enraged and/or smugly satisfied in the moment! Gosh!
March 3, 2025 at 10:14 PM
You're not supposed to *remember* the things he says! Just be enraged and/or smugly satisfied in the moment! Gosh!
Not until we break into the National Archives with a real shitty fountain pen we got off Amazon and do some "efficiency upgrading" to the constitution!
March 3, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Not until we break into the National Archives with a real shitty fountain pen we got off Amazon and do some "efficiency upgrading" to the constitution!
Sounds like you've mastered the POOP mentality! Congrats on your new efficiency!
March 1, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Sounds like you've mastered the POOP mentality! Congrats on your new efficiency!
DID YOU KNOW: Dave "Poop Hands" Portnoy was on the shortlist for the original POOP team, due to his pioneering work in the DoucheCanoe community? Unfortunately he's having some kind of weird mental breakdown lately!
February 27, 2025 at 10:48 PM
DID YOU KNOW: Dave "Poop Hands" Portnoy was on the shortlist for the original POOP team, due to his pioneering work in the DoucheCanoe community? Unfortunately he's having some kind of weird mental breakdown lately!
Unfair! The Cybersuck is a delicate flower and needs proper care in order to flourish in the most harshest of habitats!
(Plus we heard from our dear leader/nonleader Melon Husk that panels for early models were made from recycled Grape Nuts boxes and don't do well in the rain)
(Plus we heard from our dear leader/nonleader Melon Husk that panels for early models were made from recycled Grape Nuts boxes and don't do well in the rain)
February 27, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Unfair! The Cybersuck is a delicate flower and needs proper care in order to flourish in the most harshest of habitats!
(Plus we heard from our dear leader/nonleader Melon Husk that panels for early models were made from recycled Grape Nuts boxes and don't do well in the rain)
(Plus we heard from our dear leader/nonleader Melon Husk that panels for early models were made from recycled Grape Nuts boxes and don't do well in the rain)
<Creepy demonic Melon Husk offspring voice>They'll never know!
February 25, 2025 at 7:44 PM
<Creepy demonic Melon Husk offspring voice>They'll never know!
Welcome to the POOP fold, DOUCHE!
February 25, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Welcome to the POOP fold, DOUCHE!
Because it's *way* easier than doing something actually productive! Have you ever actually done work that benefits someone other than yourself? It's exhausting!
February 25, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Because it's *way* easier than doing something actually productive! Have you ever actually done work that benefits someone other than yourself? It's exhausting!
