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phoebebarton.bsky.social
Phoebe Barton 🚀🇺🇳
@phoebebarton.bsky.social
5.1K followers 410 following 17K posts
Giant queer trans sf/game writer who is NOT AMERICAN, typewriter guardian, mind poisoner. Nebula winner, Aurora winner! Assistant Editor at Escape Pod, CW '19. Hamilton, Ontario. Header by @shargrave.bsky.social. She/her. www.phoebebartonsf.com
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phoebebarton.bsky.social
it's his favourite pillow
A black and white cat lounging on a golden pillow. His head is raised slightly because he heard me walk up to take the photo.
November 10, 2025 at 5:06 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
wint @dril (accidentally fires entire ar15 magazine into my foot & leg with 100% accuracy rate) alright. thats fine. heres what i think happened, [1/82] 3:43 PM - Jun 9, 2017
November 10, 2025 at 2:44 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
behold my adorable cat
A black and white cat curled on a golden pillow. He's stretching one leg out toward the camera.
November 10, 2025 at 4:13 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
the British Empire is responsible for many, many, many crimes, and allowing children to take the king's shilling is only one of them

but they did, and so I have this photo: 4122398 Boy Parkinson L, 2nd Bn. 22nd (Cheshire) Regt., Aldershot, 1930
A somewhat faded and damaged black-and-white photo. It's of a young, clean-shaven white boy with an expression that looks like he's holding in a lot of emotion. He's wearing a peaked cap and a military uniform with large, shiny buttons.
November 9, 2025 at 8:50 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
Melnorme from Star Control II: "That's a good question with a very interesting answer!" Melnorme from Star Control II: "The fee for this information is 120,000 Credits."
November 8, 2025 at 9:59 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
it would be even better if it was Mu Codicis VI, because then it would be the proper Latin genitive for Codex
The transportation advisor from SimCity 2000 saying "I AM ANGRY! ANGRY ABOUT A THIRTY-ONE-YEAR-OLD VIDEO GAME" generated with Foone's Death Generator.
November 7, 2025 at 11:01 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
A @dril tweet from November 11, 2011. "im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
November 7, 2025 at 1:15 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
how about... now stay with me... a railgun *on* a missile
November 6, 2025 at 11:02 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
The Sickos guy in a Timber Wolf/Mad Cat BattleMech saying "Yes... ha ha ha... YES!"
November 6, 2025 at 10:55 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
it was Cuomo's belief that they were such stupid motherfuckers that they'd fall for his bullshit, guaranteed

and he was right
A screenshot from an VHS tape, with Play indicated at the top and a Tracking bar at the bottom. Against a background that begins as blue at the bottom and fades to black at the top, bold yellow text proclaims "FUCK YOU STATEN ISLAND!" In the tradition of Big Bill Hell's.
November 6, 2025 at 1:08 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
mythischmiems: (a photo of a train station information screen that reads "oepsie woepsie! de trein is stukkie wukkie! we sijn heul hard aan t werk om dit te make mss kan je beter fwietsen owo") viktor-zhjarnek: Blease stop Dutch is barely a respectable language as it already is
November 2, 2025 at 2:26 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
Episode 1: "The medical staff tries to find the cure for a computer virus that has begun to affect humans."
Hatsune Miku looking down, unimpressed, saying "Pathetic."
November 2, 2025 at 2:23 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
this gives me the impression that Smith-Corona did not expect that these typewriters would still be in use eighty years later
From the October 22, 1945 issue of Life Magazine, an ad for Smith-Corona typewriters. On the left, two students gaze lovingly at each other. One carries a book and the other a portable typewriter in its case. On the right, a typewriter sits in an open case. ...which portable? Among students, new portables have been conspicuous by their absence during the war years. In their place, students have resorted to old machines, already hard-used by previous generations. Many of these "old-timers" have stood up well, as anyone who has used a veteran Corona well knows. Perhaps this is learning the merits of a machine the hard way, but to thousands of students it is convincing proof that no portable has a sounder record of service, of sturdiness, dependability and speed than the Smith-Corona. See it first at your dealers.
October 31, 2025 at 1:42 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
eighty years later and we *still* can't fly to London in airships with gay salons
From the October 22, 1945 issue of Life Magazine, a two-page ad for the Goodyear Aircraft Corporation depicting an airship in flight above New York City. To the left, there are drawings of an stern airship captain with binoculars, an airship chef getting some gelatin just so, a scene in the piano-equipped lounge, and a woman sorting through clothes. "There goes your London Express: It's designed to carry 112 passengers in luxurious comfort--with large staterooms, gay salons--many other features of a deluxe ocean steamship and three times the speed! Some day you can go to Europe in a giant, 950-foot airship just like this. You'll soar along quietly, smoothly--at comfortable altitudes. Your crossing will take about 40 hours--glorious hours--of entertainment, delightful cuisine, luxurious relaxation. And the modest cost will add another happy surprise! ... Again and soon, America can bring civilian travellers these luxurious giants of the sky--bigger ones, safer ones, than ever before. For America has the only safe lifting gas--non-inflammable, non-explosive helium. And Goodyear has 35 years' experience in designing, building and flying lighter-than-air craft. Today, your Navy has thousands of trained pilots and crew men--equipped to take on the greatest airships ever conceived. Put airships in your travel picture--your overseas vacation plans. Not as competitors of speedy stratosphere planes, nor leisurely steamers--but as essential transports with a field all their own."
October 31, 2025 at 1:30 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
can't believe the actual future got stuck with only "no door handles" without any of the style
From the October 22, 1945 issue of Life Magazine, a photo of a "dream car." It's streamlined compared to a '46 Ford, but is still bulky and retro-looking. Its front bumper tapers to a point, it has very small rounded tail fins, and the forward half of the passenger compartment is entirely windshield. The caption reads "The dream car has no place in industry's present plans. This one, projected by Designer William Flajole, eliminates blind spots on windshield, does away with door handles."
October 30, 2025 at 10:45 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
"Scott Alexander writes on his blog Slate Star Codex on how the journalist Kelsey Piper’s effectiveness was reduced by 20 per cent because she wasn’t taking Adderall for her ADHD ... thus costing the future 54 billion lives."
Ada Powers (parody) @unknownmetric Trans transhumanists: omg what if hot-swappable body parts? Real functioning tails and cat ears? Permanently purple hair? Cis transhumanists: with this nootropic stack and optimized nutrient slurry my tragic meat machine is 8% more efficient at converting calories into javascript 10:14 AM - Jan 29, 2018
October 30, 2025 at 12:20 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
a cat in his element
A black and white cat lounging on top of a couch, surrounded by blankets and pillows.
October 29, 2025 at 7:21 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
this has got to be the weirdest tarot deck I've ever seen
An ad from the October 22, 1945 issue of Life Magazine. On a wood table, a woman's hands place cards marked Roaster-Oven, Coffee Maker, Air Conditioner, Iron, Vacuum Cleaners, Home Freezer, Table Appliances, Fans, Washer, Laundromat, Dishwasher, Refrigerator, Electric Range, Clothes Dryer, and Steam Iron. The copy headline: "A bright future is in the Cards." "Think of a tomorrow when you can put your whole dinner in the range, turn on the oven, toss away your apron...and take the afternoon off. ...When doing the family wash will be reduced to 'put 'em in...set the dials and add soap...take 'em out'. ...When meal planning is simplified to selecting delicious meat, ready-cooked foods, sea food, poultry and sun-ripened fruits and vegetables from your Home Freezer. The new upright model will provide freezing and storage facilities with 'Reach-in Convenience'. ...When most of the drudgery and routine of running a house becomes merely the flicking of a switch or the pressing of a button. Idle dreaming? No, indeed. These 23 Westinghouse electric appliances give a hint of what's to come. And other exciting new products...like the Steam Iron and Automatic Clothes Dryer...are on the way. Soon, there'll be a bright tomorrow when you will know, firsthand, 'There's a Lift to Living Electrically'!" EVERY HOUSE NEEDS Westinghouse MAKER OF 30 MILLION ELECTRIC HOME APPLIANCES
October 29, 2025 at 2:08 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
A modified Garfield panel of Jon yelling at Garfield. Jon is yelling "STARFIELD!" Garfield is grinning evilly.
October 26, 2025 at 1:18 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
you heard it here first: bags are boxes
A black and white cat crouching inside a red reusable grocery bag.
October 26, 2025 at 1:53 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
A series of Tumblr posts. four-female: ghostbusters? the-feminists-are: taking over! i'm an-adult: virgin! fullmetalfisting: Posts like this make me realize that I never read anyone's fucking url
October 25, 2025 at 10:06 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
October 23, 2025 at 1:06 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
there's zalg, for starters
A display of zalg, "America's Forgotten Vegetable," at Omega Mart in Las Vegas. White zalg root sells for $44.01* and red zalg root for $59.43. They look kind of like thick bananas, though the white zalg root has red spots and a greenish tint. Zalg can be enjoyed grilled, mashed, spiralled, or in-liquid.
October 22, 2025 at 2:58 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
trying to focus my creativity while puzzling out how the detective in the story can solve the mystery

so I made a flag for the antagonists, the Republic of New America (on Mars)

resemblance to the Confederate flag was unintentional but is extremely appropriate, considering they're fascist bastards
A flag with a blue canton on a red field. The canton contains a circle of twelve five-pointed stars, with one five-pointed star in the centre.
October 19, 2025 at 4:36 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
"YEEAAAAHH" in italicized black Impact font over the skyline of Miami at sunset.
October 19, 2025 at 2:36 AM