🩸Ellie, vampire psycho(sis) system🩸
@phenomenologicat.bsky.social
transsexual, autistic vampire queen🩸
psychotic, plural philosopher disaster
she/her
i write philosophy essays and fiction
i will bite u
no minors
20’s
psychotic, plural philosopher disaster
she/her
i write philosophy essays and fiction
i will bite u
no minors
20’s
It is, in fact, incredibly rad
November 25, 2025 at 8:28 PM
It is, in fact, incredibly rad
Reposted by 🩸Ellie, vampire psycho(sis) system🩸
I have made a lot of a stupid merch in my time, but this is among the most annoying
November 25, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I have made a lot of a stupid merch in my time, but this is among the most annoying
We don’t know one another, but I just wanted to say that you - and me, and whoever else who deals with this - are not alone against the deluge, the army of fragments in the mind. If we cannot find solace in them, or peace with them, then other people will need to stand with us. I hope they do.
November 25, 2025 at 4:58 PM
We don’t know one another, but I just wanted to say that you - and me, and whoever else who deals with this - are not alone against the deluge, the army of fragments in the mind. If we cannot find solace in them, or peace with them, then other people will need to stand with us. I hope they do.
I suppose I just wanted to express these things, because somewhat ironically, dissociation and DID are deeply alienating; they made me feel alone, or at least alone against an army, long before I tried (and failed) to make peace with my alters.
November 25, 2025 at 4:58 PM
I suppose I just wanted to express these things, because somewhat ironically, dissociation and DID are deeply alienating; they made me feel alone, or at least alone against an army, long before I tried (and failed) to make peace with my alters.
For a long time, I felt like my skull had been invaded by entities from beyond all comprehension, and even if they were “me” somehow, I was desperate to be rid of it. Many of my OCD rituals, long before realising I was dissociative, were all about “getting the voices from my head”. It never worked.
November 25, 2025 at 4:58 PM
For a long time, I felt like my skull had been invaded by entities from beyond all comprehension, and even if they were “me” somehow, I was desperate to be rid of it. Many of my OCD rituals, long before realising I was dissociative, were all about “getting the voices from my head”. It never worked.
This is frequently how I feel about my plurality, although I am trying my hardest to be more “cooperative” with my alters, when I can. It is extremely difficult, though — it’s a terrifying ordeal, and even when I try to be kind, many of my alters are cruel to me.
November 25, 2025 at 4:58 PM
This is frequently how I feel about my plurality, although I am trying my hardest to be more “cooperative” with my alters, when I can. It is extremely difficult, though — it’s a terrifying ordeal, and even when I try to be kind, many of my alters are cruel to me.
My therapist made the same observation about me recently; it’s a struggle for me to accept, as my DID + tendency for psychotic episodes prevents me from being completely lucid about suicide, and my ability to want things. But I’m trying to fight for a future, even while scared, and that’s positive.
November 25, 2025 at 4:47 PM
My therapist made the same observation about me recently; it’s a struggle for me to accept, as my DID + tendency for psychotic episodes prevents me from being completely lucid about suicide, and my ability to want things. But I’m trying to fight for a future, even while scared, and that’s positive.
the few times I’ve been called a manhound, I manage to go through a full range of emotions in about five seconds: annoyance, finding the term funny and then reclaiming it like it is a compliment lmao
November 25, 2025 at 4:41 PM
the few times I’ve been called a manhound, I manage to go through a full range of emotions in about five seconds: annoyance, finding the term funny and then reclaiming it like it is a compliment lmao
what about the secret third thing (looking for a community and, while constantly failing at finding community, coping about it)
November 24, 2025 at 4:21 PM
what about the secret third thing (looking for a community and, while constantly failing at finding community, coping about it)
Reading is one of the greatest passions of my life. Without a book, whether fiction or history or philosophy, I suspect my existence would be significantly less meaningful and fulfilling.
November 24, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Reading is one of the greatest passions of my life. Without a book, whether fiction or history or philosophy, I suspect my existence would be significantly less meaningful and fulfilling.
Reposted by 🩸Ellie, vampire psycho(sis) system🩸
you get prognant
November 24, 2025 at 11:16 AM
you get prognant
I’m like this already and I’ve yet to start prog, so I’m waiting intently to find out what exactly will happen the moment I try it
November 24, 2025 at 11:14 AM
I’m like this already and I’ve yet to start prog, so I’m waiting intently to find out what exactly will happen the moment I try it
one of my favourite dynamics 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
November 22, 2025 at 2:20 PM
one of my favourite dynamics 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
As someone who suffers from frequent psychotic episodes, 100% agree with this. It makes me feel so upset when people use "crazy, psychotic, delusional, etc." to insult me or others, as if these terms are somehow inherently insulting
November 20, 2025 at 5:43 PM
As someone who suffers from frequent psychotic episodes, 100% agree with this. It makes me feel so upset when people use "crazy, psychotic, delusional, etc." to insult me or others, as if these terms are somehow inherently insulting
The anguish I feel is almost insurmountable. I have wept for all of my trans siblings, as I hope they will weep for me, should I falter in my fight. Don't forget us; but more importantly, don't stop fighting for us.
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
The anguish I feel is almost insurmountable. I have wept for all of my trans siblings, as I hope they will weep for me, should I falter in my fight. Don't forget us; but more importantly, don't stop fighting for us.
As so many others have written: trans liberation now! If you give a damn, you'd give everything to help such a cause. But I am sickened by the silence. Even our allies are unable to muster a strong defence, and in strong enough numbers. So we are drawn to doing things ourselves, despite the risk.
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
As so many others have written: trans liberation now! If you give a damn, you'd give everything to help such a cause. But I am sickened by the silence. Even our allies are unable to muster a strong defence, and in strong enough numbers. So we are drawn to doing things ourselves, despite the risk.
To every cis person and ally, prove yourselves; prove to us that you care. For if you don't help us now, don't stick your necks out for us, we won't be the last to perish. This world is on a precipice; and we have vanishingly fewer chances to change things.
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
To every cis person and ally, prove yourselves; prove to us that you care. For if you don't help us now, don't stick your necks out for us, we won't be the last to perish. This world is on a precipice; and we have vanishingly fewer chances to change things.
We cannot be destroyed by these fascists, patriarchs and vacuous centrists, unable to muster their consciences. We won't let them win. We won't. But this cannot be achieved alone; we should neither have to mourn our dead alone, nor should we be forced to fight for our survival alone.
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
We cannot be destroyed by these fascists, patriarchs and vacuous centrists, unable to muster their consciences. We won't let them win. We won't. But this cannot be achieved alone; we should neither have to mourn our dead alone, nor should we be forced to fight for our survival alone.
Remembrance is insufficient; it has to count for something. We have to count for something. A life - a trans life, that most beautiful of possibilities - has to count. We cannot capitulate. Every one who has been lost to this onslaught of hate, of deprivation and oppression - we avenge them all.
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Remembrance is insufficient; it has to count for something. We have to count for something. A life - a trans life, that most beautiful of possibilities - has to count. We cannot capitulate. Every one who has been lost to this onslaught of hate, of deprivation and oppression - we avenge them all.
But I think the loss of a trans woman, or a trans man, or whosoever else who is trans in some way - is not merely intolerable for their trans siblings, but a profound, earth-shattering condemnation of the whole society which was built upon their bones, and the bones of so many others.
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
But I think the loss of a trans woman, or a trans man, or whosoever else who is trans in some way - is not merely intolerable for their trans siblings, but a profound, earth-shattering condemnation of the whole society which was built upon their bones, and the bones of so many others.
The possibility of an untimely death has lingered over me for the whole of my existence, just as it has for innumerable other trans people. And such a death would go unremarked upon, by the majority of the populace; even other trans people would, eventually, have to move on, for their own sake.
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
The possibility of an untimely death has lingered over me for the whole of my existence, just as it has for innumerable other trans people. And such a death would go unremarked upon, by the majority of the populace; even other trans people would, eventually, have to move on, for their own sake.
I have ibs severe enough that no matter what i eat, i get a free trial of ibs the next morning*
(*within an hour after eating)
(*within an hour after eating)
November 19, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I have ibs severe enough that no matter what i eat, i get a free trial of ibs the next morning*
(*within an hour after eating)
(*within an hour after eating)