How many more gold appliqués can possibly fit in the Oval Office?

Um, actually… He was actually Bondenstein’s monster.

C’mon! Zombie James Bond is right there in front of them!

“NOT THE BEEEEES!” - Nicolas Cage (also Macaulay Culkin)

Age discrimination is illegal under the Equal Credit Opportunity Act!

How much negative equity can I roll in to my next 180 month auto loan?

Then why are well-mantained, high mileage, late 90s/early 00s Toyota Tacomas and 4Runners selling for nearly what they were new?

There’s a Banana Republic joke here somewhere… But I’m experiencing a Gap between my thinky parts and my funny parts.

Did the piano survive?

So when’s that book about Trump’s failing brain coming out?

Stan: “We need to talk about your smile.”

Joanna: “Really? I smiled at 15 customers in the last hour.”

Stan: “Well, okay. 15 is the minimum, okay?”

Joanna: “Okay.”

Stan: “It’s up to you if you want to do the bare minimum. Look at Brian... He’s smiled at 37 customers in the past hour.”

Same situation. My neuro retired and the new guy is impossible to schedule with.

I don’t understand how one of the larger healthcare systems in the Chicago area can only have 14 Epilepsy/seizure disorder specialists. 😒

My neuro schedules appointments in six month blocks. If I want an appointment in December, I need to call starting July 1st.

This year, I call on July 1st and hear, “Oh… He’s booked up until March of 2026.”

HOW.

And the appointments are *always* rescheduled with short notice.

Satire… for now.

He finally found the WMDs.

America needs Tom Ridge.