Patlynchmusic
patlynchmusic.bsky.social
Patlynchmusic
@patlynchmusic.bsky.social
Hot dog water ramblings, muses, and music.
BREAKING NEWS: We all need you to know more rich people went to space. This time, it was all women, so you should care a little more.

More later.
April 14, 2025 at 6:46 PM
BREAKING NEWS: The White House will now allow journalists to bring alcohol into the briefing room on Mondays. Those close to the Chief of Staff suggest if successful, this privilege could extend to Wednesdays.

More later.
April 13, 2025 at 7:07 PM
BREAKING NEWS: The White house admits they're just "winging this" regarding tariffs. They have however released a four page statement on how the President has won yet another golf tournament hosted by Mar A Lago. Only the president participated. More later.
April 9, 2025 at 9:39 PM
BREAKING NEWS: the President was horrified today when he realized the line graph he was using as his guide to the economy was upside down. He then shrugged, shat, and went golfing.

More later.
April 3, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Breaking NEWS: Another group chat has surfaced. This time including the satirical news organization the Onion, the president, and apparently, the cell phone number of the late Tom Selleck.
March 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Boomers up in arms about social security disappearing, despite incessantly complaining for decades about how they would never see it anyway.

More later.
March 22, 2025 at 12:52 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Staffers close to the president have reported overhearing him mutter, "we're so fucked," under his breath. Followed by ramblings explaining there's nothing he could possibly do to make anyone's life slightly more tolerable but his own.

More later.
March 19, 2025 at 2:51 AM
BREAKING NEWS: Elon Musk announcing new "vintage" mode available on all Teslas beginning April 20th. Cars will reproduce authentic looks and sounds of 1930s German vehicles. Cars will be equipped with speeches and literature of the time period as well.
March 18, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Reposted by Patlynchmusic
More of this, please. A LOT more of this, please.
Chatterbox Jazz Club in Indianapolis is the place to be! Be certain you stop by and support them!
chatterboxjazz.com
March 17, 2025 at 4:17 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Trump accidentally calls Twitter by it's deadname, Twitter. Elon Musk reportedly pouting under the Resolute desk in the Oval Office.
March 13, 2025 at 5:19 PM
BRRAKING NEWS: The White House will be forming a taskforce in charge of rehiring necessary federal jobs previously thought of as unnecessary.
March 13, 2025 at 3:19 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Covfefe 2

More later.
March 10, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Reposted by Patlynchmusic
If your unvaccinated child catches the measles, DO NOT take them to a hospital. The same people who want them vaccinated will be there.

As RFK Jr said, wait for the next full moon and gather thirteen leaves from a mulberry bush. Now, place the leaves into a cauldron blessed by the Toad Of Wisdom…
March 8, 2025 at 8:21 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Casey Anthony in talks with current President Donald Trump to be named welfare secretary. More later
March 8, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Reposted by Patlynchmusic
Well said!
March 5, 2025 at 8:37 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Sources say JD Vance staffers regrouping after the State of the Union address failed to result in a medical emergency. More later.
March 5, 2025 at 1:26 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Oscar's producers reportedly fired after realizing their medley of famous 007 songs did not include "Nobody Does It Better."
March 3, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Reposted by Patlynchmusic
What happened to Little Marco?
March 1, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Reposted by Patlynchmusic
GLENN: Why don't you wear a suit? You're at the highest level in this country's office & you refuse to wear a suit. A lot of Americans have problems with you not respecting the office.

ZELENSKYY: I will wear a costume after this war will finish. Maybe something like yours. Maybe something better.
February 28, 2025 at 6:22 PM
BREAKING NEWS: President Trump announces 3-day work week for all United States presidents. Initial reporting suggests Musk and Trump to carry out presidential duties on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Sunday afternoons. More later.
February 28, 2025 at 6:33 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Sources close to the Press secretary suggest Karoline Leavitt actively seeking counseling services twice a week regarding her upbringing, citing questions as to why her parents spelled her name that way.
February 28, 2025 at 6:18 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Trump administration requests all federal employees fill out and laminate a contact sheet, in the event they need to call former employees in labor camps for legacy information.
February 25, 2025 at 2:07 AM
BREAKING NEWS: the Trump administration to replace Joint Chiefs with Kansas City Chiefs players, including Harrison Butker. Trump will be holding a press conference in Kansas Thursday.
February 22, 2025 at 8:17 PM
BREAKING NEWS: administration that wants to deny the existence of trans people, also wants you to call it the Gulf of America.
February 15, 2025 at 1:59 PM
BREAKING NEWS: The NFL is removing "END RACISM" stencils in the end zones this year. Sources close to the commissioner say he is creating a team of entirely straight white men that will be tasked with an equally hypocritical and empty sentiment for next year's stencil photographers will stand on.
February 9, 2025 at 9:17 PM