Patented Phil
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patentedphil.bsky.social
Patented Phil
@patentedphil.bsky.social
96 followers 73 following 280 posts
the opposite of a "social media influencer" • aka carnageasada • doing ui/ux stuff at bungie • illustrations are here • no ai learning / unauthorized use / unauthorized reproduction please

http://patentedphil.com/
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patentedphil.bsky.social
Some sketches from my sketchbook. I promise I’m not completely insane.
#sketchbook #ink
November 21, 2025 at 4:44 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Wailing Peabeetles
// Out of Context Children’s Book Pages
#CCPeacock #colour_collective #color_collective
#kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
Wailing Peabeetles Noddlergrass, New Zealand Wailing Peabeetles were often found loudly vocalizing along the banks of the Alderhat River. They could be heard for miles complaining about local politics or exchanging successful recipes they had found online.
November 21, 2025 at 1:50 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
November 12, 2025 at 6:00 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Your Mom
#yourmom #comic #art #illustration #artsky
Patient: Well, Doc, how bad is it? Doctor: It's not good, Dalfetti. You have an advanced case of Materua Iocus... Patient: YOUR MOM has a case of Materua Iocus! Doctor: *groan* ... which explains your inability to control YOUR MOM jokes.
November 12, 2025 at 5:33 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Spobbles’ Gift
#comic #art #illustration #artsky
Spobbles’ Gift Person using their mobile device walks their pet, Spobbles, down the street. They share a message: "Spobbles left me a 'gift' in my shoe this morning. LOL" to social media. Spobbles thinks: "Can't even stop looking at their device for a few minutes to walk me..." "... I'm totally going to shit in their shoe again tomorrow."
November 6, 2025 at 4:44 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Nacho Wax Ponds State Park
// Out of Context Children’s Book Pages
#CCPickleGreen #colour_collective #color_collective
#kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
Nacho Wax Ponds State Park // Out of Context Children’s Book Pages Guladen’s favorite meditation spot had become too popular after that influencer, Trald, posted selfies of their visit to Nacho Wax Ponds State Park.
October 29, 2025 at 4:32 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Sketching & World Series Extra Baseball
#art #illustration #artsky #sketch
October 28, 2025 at 5:31 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Chef-Inspired Recipes
#comic #art #illustration #artsky
Chef-Inspired Recipes A blue creature pets their green pet, Noodles, and says to them: The internet told me about these new "chef-inspired" meals from Beastly Feasts. Would you like those, Noodles? (Noodles perks up) Guy Fieri presents Trashcan Chunk Nachos with Liver Donkey Sauce... ... and from Bobby Flay - Calabrian Chili-Infused Turkey and Giblet Crispy Rice. (Noodles is not impressed)
October 25, 2025 at 4:19 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Inktober 2025: Ragged
#inktober #inktober2025 #ragged #jeans #sketch #art #illustration #artsky
Weird insect creatures emerge from ragged holes in a pair of jeans.
October 17, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Reposted by Patented Phil
matineemode.bsky.social
Take a few minutes to appreciate Drew Struzan creating the original artwork for THE PHANTOM MENACE. Truly a master at work.
October 14, 2025 at 7:12 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Inktober 2025: Drink
#inktober #inktober2025 #drink #sketch #art #illustration #artsky
Goldfish drinks a pint of beer from a straw leading from their goldfish bowl to the beer glass.
October 15, 2025 at 3:42 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Inktober 2025: Shredded
#inktober #inktober2025 #shredded #sketch #art #illustration #artsky
An evil cheese grater monster chases a crowd of frightened cheese pieces
October 13, 2025 at 4:13 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Illustration is Hard Work
#comic #art #illustration #artsky
Illustration is Hard Work Being an Illustrator is the hardest job on the entire planet. You have to make so many difficult decisions. For instance… How do you depict a light bulb when they have a GOOD IDEA? Or a skull shopping for POISON at Costco? How do you design an icon that communicates SAVE to a floppy disk? Or an icon that represents SEARCH to a magnifying glass? Now that I think about it, being an Illustrator isn’t very hard at all. Firefighters exist. Forget I said anything.
October 12, 2025 at 6:56 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Octopus Memory
#octopus #messageinabottle #memory #comic #art #illustration #artsky
Octopus Memory An octopus reads the following message from a bottle: Good to hear back from you again. Can you believe it? I’m an octopus as well! What are the odds that our messages would find each other across this great sea. Can I ask what you look like? I’ll go first. I’m a mint green Pacfic Swaddlerhead with yellowish spots. I live on a sandy beach littered with shells and kelp by the… The octopus realizes something… It was at that moment, Murble realized their octopus memory only lasted a few days and they had been writing to themself for several months.
October 5, 2025 at 7:27 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
This Is Not My Beautiful Stout
// Beer Can Design
#stout #beer #beercanart #craftbeer #art #illustration #artsky
A series of glasses of stout dressed up as David Byrne in his big suit outfit and the tuxedo outfit from the video "Once in a Lifetime" in the background. This image displays the illustration on a beer can. A series of glasses of stout dressed up as David Byrne in his big suit outfit and the tuxedo outfit from the video "Once in a Lifetime" in the background. This is the full illustration.
October 1, 2025 at 5:27 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
A Hungry Power Strip
#comic #art #illustration #artsky #powerstrip #poweroutlet
A Hungry Power Strip The top three pronged power outlet speaks into their phone: Yeah.. I’d like three burritos - two medium, one spicy - two orders of tamales, four tacos, and some chips and salsa for delivery. Right.. Extra salsa, please. $37.71? That’s great. See you soon.. Thanks! Ends call The topower outlet says to a power strip attached to the bottom power outlet: You know.. our dinner orders have gone up significantly since you decided to add a power strip.
September 27, 2025 at 1:07 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
The Singing Walber Eels
// Out of Context Children’s Book Pages
#kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
The Singing Walber Eels // Out of Context Children’s Book Pages The melodious tones of the singing walber eels triggered a delightful luminescence in the nearby mottelbugs. Description: A 5 colorful, waterbugs light up at night as a large, purple eel like creature sings into the night perched atop a meandering plant.
September 22, 2025 at 1:10 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
The Life Stages of a Candle
#comic #art #illustration #artsky #candle #life
The Life Stages of a Candle A tall, bright eyed candle represents Youth. A suave, happy slightly less tall candle represents College. A much more melted, half-sized, less happy candle represents Corporate Grind. A melted down pool of wax whose flame has gone out represents Retirement.
September 18, 2025 at 4:18 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Watched a nature show about mangroves. Ended up sketching this scene while watching Iron Chef Chen work his magic. #sketch #IronChef #mangroves
September 17, 2025 at 5:02 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Starlight Green's Cloud Water
#comic #lavalamp #antiqueshop #art #illustration #artsky
Starlight Green's Cloud Water Two Lava Lamps talking to each other on a shelf in an antique shop: We got another e-mail from the 1952 Vintage Crown Brunswick Pin this afternoon… E-mail: Dear LavaLites - Every day on my jog past your shelf I notice how cloudy ‘77 Starlite Green’s water has become. I know we’ve discussed this before but it’s becoming quite an eyesore and I fear may be affecting the property values in our lovely community. Please be mindful of your neighbors and filter your water at the earliest possible convenience. - V.C. Brunswick, Treasurer The other lava lamp responds: I really hate the HOA…
September 14, 2025 at 1:28 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
A Curious Episode
#comic #cartoon #magnumpi #mustache #art #illustration #artsky
Look... I know I'm just a wiry bundle of hairs living on your upper-lip, Magnum, but that shirt ain't making it, man... Magnum, P.I. S5E8: Murder 101 Curious episode. Magnum's mustache suddenly becomes self-aware about 13 minutes in. Turning point in the series?
September 10, 2025 at 2:45 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
The top comment on a video of Elton John joining Spinal Tap on stage to perform “Stonehenge” from the upcoming sequel.
Imagine getting to perform with a living legend. Elton John is so lucky.
September 9, 2025 at 2:49 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
So Boring
#comic #cartoon #art #illustration #artsky
So Boring 1: So boring. Nothing much of anything ever happens around here. A green being sits in an office chair looking bored at their laptop. 2: As they sit at their laptop, other beings are screaming at them, blasting horns, hitting drums, and singing at them. 3: As they sit at their laptop, eggs, burgers, hot dogs, sodas, bacon, pizza and other food fall from the sky onto them. 4: Except that. THAT sometimes happens around here.
September 6, 2025 at 5:49 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
The Great Formaggi
// Out of Context Children’s Book Pages
#magic #kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
The Great Formaggi // Out of Context Children’s Book Pages The Great Formaggi was best known in Green Calamardle Magic circles for their mystifying Vanishing Red Chile Tamale routine.
August 31, 2025 at 1:10 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
The Guanotes - Cumin Lentilpede
// Album Art
#lentils #centipede #albumart #albumcover #art #illustration #artsky
The Guanotes - Cumin Lentilpede // Album Art A giant lentil snake like creature winds around red onions, tomatoes, olives, and pita The Guanotes - Cumin Lentilpede // Album Art A giant lentil snake like creature winds around red onions, tomatoes, olives, and pita
August 24, 2025 at 5:42 PM