the original nosferatu was better

one day my great grandchildren will find these keys and ask me what they are and why i still keep them. i’ll tell them they could never understand what 2020 was like. they’ll ask me what’s a strawberry

i prefer the smooth, crumbly artificial banana experience of a banana moon pie (i have to rub the surface before i bite into it like the freak i am)

i have too many trans friends bc my first thought was “a cute little suitcase to store your wiener”

noodle helped set up the lil 3ft tree

i don’t know that strengthening the classification of a medication keeps doctors from overprescribing it. what i do know is that i have to pay every two months to tell my doctor’s nurse practitioner that yes, the meds are still working the same.

was taking cuddly cat pics with loaf and accidentally got in the middle of a skirmish

made a hanger for the surviving catnip plant out of a key ring and a spool of jute that were floating around the craft drawers. what remains of our maimed victim from the other night is receiving intensive care. time will tell if she makes it. in the meantime, her next of kin will provide.

me at work today while doing my little mediocre task

i got u (will definitely be making some babygirl edits in the future but here’s him after hunter got pardoned while we wait)

while we slept, the cats knocked over and destroyed their own catnip supply (then celebrated by rolling around in the soil). that’s so american of them

went to a craft show today and had to buy some 3d printed lil critters. opossum techdeck is my first ever tiktok, enjoy ❤️

these are her two boys, bobby and loaf, who i adopted (with her permission, of course)

This is my 14 y/o cat, Ezio. His last owners named him after an Assassin’s Creed character so he has a big ego. By day, he sheds his cat suit for his true form, a middle-aged libertarian white man, and leaves in his Dodge Charger to day trade and run crypto scams. By night, he’s our lil guy again.

he wasn’t wrong

good choice, here is a jiggly watercolor i did for tax 💕

Freya is a beautiful queen bitch. This is my queen bitch, Noodle. She lives with four boys and bullies the hell out of them. We’re working on that. She has a punk jacket with her name on it but we don’t have any patches for it yet.