we still tryna make bluesky happen

thinking about her

happy world toilet day

got his hair done nails done 2day

enabling myself by justifying reckless spending cause it’s my birthday month

one thing you can always count on me for is having to pee

banning books as a method of enforcing moral puritanism feels so outdated. lady your kid is on tumblr reading about sex acts that would kill Aphrodite

i may not believe in god but i do believe in lindor truffles

it should have just been edward scissorfingers. he had the hand part in flesh

named a bong lakief stanfield but found out its namesake was antivax so i stopped smoking weed entirely

call me homer simpson bitch im talkin bout D’OH!

Two months ago, the trees were full of leaves, and they were green. Now, many of them are yellow. Some have fallen off entirely. If you ask about this, you're told it's because of "autumn." No one had ever heard of "autumn" before this year. And you're not allowed to say this doesn't make sense.

you can get through most of life on just “hell yeah brother” and “oof”

this song is so fucking stupid i love it so much

gooch twitch

hotboxing the smell of olive garden