Ozymandamus
@ozymandamus.bsky.social
Look on my writs, ye mighty, and despair!
Middle-aged dirtbag. Dynamite with a laser beam.
Middle-aged dirtbag. Dynamite with a laser beam.
Also, only $20 off???
November 28, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Also, only $20 off???
I do not think that word means what they think it means
November 28, 2025 at 6:59 PM
I do not think that word means what they think it means
Tell us how passionate you feel after this
November 28, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Tell us how passionate you feel after this
You're right. I should have said "Daaaaad, you're embarrassing me!" 😛
(It really did make me laugh. Thank you)
(It really did make me laugh. Thank you)
November 25, 2025 at 5:24 PM
You're right. I should have said "Daaaaad, you're embarrassing me!" 😛
(It really did make me laugh. Thank you)
(It really did make me laugh. Thank you)
Mine hurt way more than a pap!
November 24, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Mine hurt way more than a pap!
I bet you looked gorgeous, though!
November 19, 2025 at 11:37 AM
I bet you looked gorgeous, though!
Omg this exact thing happened to me. Said they dispensed 90 but it was only 30. I had to call 5 times over 7 days to get it straightened out. I’m glad I realized this a week ahead of time because I would have been SOL if I had waited any longer.
November 18, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Omg this exact thing happened to me. Said they dispensed 90 but it was only 30. I had to call 5 times over 7 days to get it straightened out. I’m glad I realized this a week ahead of time because I would have been SOL if I had waited any longer.
Miele cat and dog. Canister vac is the way to go. Get the stair attachment for really getting into the back and side of the stairs.
November 17, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Miele cat and dog. Canister vac is the way to go. Get the stair attachment for really getting into the back and side of the stairs.
Have you tried electrolysis? I swear it's the best gift I ever gave myself
November 15, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Have you tried electrolysis? I swear it's the best gift I ever gave myself
Gift link www.nytimes.com/2025/11/13/b...
No Lovers on These Covers: A New Look in Romance Publishing
www.nytimes.com
November 14, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Gift link www.nytimes.com/2025/11/13/b...
I call my boy cat Buddy and Pal all the time 😺
November 11, 2025 at 7:31 PM
I call my boy cat Buddy and Pal all the time 😺
What if we just lost their reservations and oops, sorry, flight is totally full, nope, not even standby. Or better yet, they all fly Total Bastard Airlines.
youtu.be/wg5lIpQkoOg?...
youtu.be/wg5lIpQkoOg?...
Total Bastard Airlines - SNL
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live
youtu.be
November 7, 2025 at 2:59 PM
What if we just lost their reservations and oops, sorry, flight is totally full, nope, not even standby. Or better yet, they all fly Total Bastard Airlines.
youtu.be/wg5lIpQkoOg?...
youtu.be/wg5lIpQkoOg?...
Unfortunately, T*d Cr*z was on my last flight so I would have been cancelled too. I don’t want to have to spend even more time hanging out in an airport in his presence 😩😩
November 7, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Unfortunately, T*d Cr*z was on my last flight so I would have been cancelled too. I don’t want to have to spend even more time hanging out in an airport in his presence 😩😩
Made from real bears!
November 5, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Made from real bears!
Furlough Day 35: Yesterday I baked 11.5 dozen cookies to be distributed today.
Down to the right sleeve & blocking on my knitted shirt. I really need some before/after blocking magic because it’s practically a crop top 🙃
Still not sure I’m furloughing correctly but give it a few more weeks.
Down to the right sleeve & blocking on my knitted shirt. I really need some before/after blocking magic because it’s practically a crop top 🙃
Still not sure I’m furloughing correctly but give it a few more weeks.
November 4, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Furlough Day 35: Yesterday I baked 11.5 dozen cookies to be distributed today.
Down to the right sleeve & blocking on my knitted shirt. I really need some before/after blocking magic because it’s practically a crop top 🙃
Still not sure I’m furloughing correctly but give it a few more weeks.
Down to the right sleeve & blocking on my knitted shirt. I really need some before/after blocking magic because it’s practically a crop top 🙃
Still not sure I’m furloughing correctly but give it a few more weeks.
Oh, lol you're right. I was thinking of this Indian bean mix that asked me to soak for 6 hours, then instapot it. Not only was this at 7 pm when I realized it, I also don't own an instapot 🫣
November 3, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Oh, lol you're right. I was thinking of this Indian bean mix that asked me to soak for 6 hours, then instapot it. Not only was this at 7 pm when I realized it, I also don't own an instapot 🫣
I confess I used to but now I'm like, look if I'm not even going to soak, why bother rinsing 🙈
November 3, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I confess I used to but now I'm like, look if I'm not even going to soak, why bother rinsing 🙈
I rode a unicycle across a kitchen once while slightly intoxicated.
November 3, 2025 at 5:35 PM
I rode a unicycle across a kitchen once while slightly intoxicated.
I don't presoak my rice. I just use the fuzzy logic of my rice cooker.
November 3, 2025 at 5:34 PM
I don't presoak my rice. I just use the fuzzy logic of my rice cooker.