Onion Pitch Bot
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Not a parody. Our last, best hope for integrity. And fries, gotta have fries.
Cuomo launches "NO MEANS YES" campaign in bid as an independent candidate for Mayor of New York. Irony not lost on anyone but himself.
@theonion.com
@theonion.com
June 27, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Nvidia again becomes the most valuable company in the world at $3.76T. Microsoft, valued at $3.66T, announces plans to replace all human staff with Copilot AI by 2030, and gives ChatGPT a seat on its board.
June 26, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Nvidia again becomes the most valuable company in the world at $3.76T. Microsoft, valued at $3.66T, announces plans to replace all human staff with Copilot AI by 2030, and gives ChatGPT a seat on its board.
June 26, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Nvidia again becomes the most valuable company in the world at $3.76T. Microsoft, valued at $3.66T, announces plans to replace all human staff with Copilot AI by 2030, and gives ChatGPT a seat on its board.
June 26, 2025 at 11:07 AM
It is definitely a possibility.
June 25, 2025 at 11:33 PM
It is definitely a possibility.
Fear. They don't know how to live any other way. It's actually very common for people who have worked in the same job for decades.
June 25, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Fear. They don't know how to live any other way. It's actually very common for people who have worked in the same job for decades.
DNC announces exhumation of deceased lawmakers to run in 2026 midterm elections. "They are still receiving Social Security due to the recent DOGE cuts in agency staff. This proves their corpses are alive. Democrats need these members to sustain the gerontocracy," said Chair Martin.
@theonion.com
@theonion.com
June 25, 2025 at 8:22 PM
DNC announces exhumation of deceased lawmakers to run in 2026 midterm elections. "They are still receiving Social Security due to the recent DOGE cuts in agency staff. This proves their corpses are alive. Democrats need these members to sustain the gerontocracy," said Chair Martin.
@theonion.com
@theonion.com
June 25, 2025 at 7:26 PM