🫡

If you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. True happiness comes from making bizarre impulse purchases online, not from another person.

Anyone else notice how EA no longer uses the tagline “it’s in the game!” because for the most part it isn’t? It’s paid DLC, cosmetics, or lootboxes.

dad (looking out the window at the apocalypse): really comin down out there

every time I show up to a pride event I am reminded that the queer community has the best and most unhinged bumper sticker game around

Sometimes I feel like millennials thinking things have to get better at some point are just victims of the gambler’s fallacy

I love this.

Trying to convince myself I don’t have a problem with caffeine. Then I weigh coffee beans out in grams on a scale and think “ah, this is totally not an addiction”