I found out the hard way that hitting the gym after 30 is vital. I was always very skinny and my body started to fall apart after 30 because i wasn't doing even basic exercises in the morning and was sitting either at work or in front of my pc all day.

I cant really write up an entire timeline of everything right now on my phone while im at a hospital, i need to wait until I'm allowed to leave based on my mental state guess.

I dont even wear the bandage anymore, i have to use my left arm, just have to be very very careful with how i move it and avoid lifting anything heavier than 0.5kg with it. Still cant raise it up or extend it, too early.

The things that made me go to a psych hospital were absolutely horrible panic attacks where i was thinking that i broke another shoulder, and the day after when i had to had to use my left arm too much and the pain or fear of feeling pain probably struck me in sleep even after taking sleeping pills

I ended up not being to sleep for 6 days, i was scared to fall asleep and if i did would wake up from either shoulder pain, knee pain, or sudden feeling of anxiety, i did take painlillers before going to sleep and they didn't help, so perhaps it was both physical and psychological.

It didn't began right after shoulder injury, I did reach to an Orthoped and she gave me treatment. Everythjng began after i got some infection on my midlle fingernail, and something also happened to my knees due to the trauma years prior, it was painful to walk, i could feel pain when sleeping

According to her words at least. I've done most of the treatment for my shoulder since then with exception of taking special shots and it has gotten better, its not as painful as it was, especially when im relaxed and not panicking

Gotta say, my left shoulder is the least of my problems now, i can my use my left arm to some extent, just feel pain if i move it roo much.

I will spend a few weeks in a psychiatric hospital until they figure out my treatment and hopefully can help me

Im better now, will have to stay in a hospital for 2 weeks or more before they figure out my medication

I want to sleep so goddamn much, i even tried to just fall asleep slightly and i felt a glimpse of this happening again.

Sorry for how bleak this is. My life feels like hell right now. My mother at least should be able to visit me and help soon, thats my only hope.

I want to say more, but it physically hurts to type this on my phone with one hand, using only one finger, and my middle finger being bandaged. Ill try to continue later.

I got my middle finger fingernail infected because i couldnt wash my hands properly, and his place was dirty. Thats also where i have accidentally hurt my knee.