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notscaryspice.bsky.social
Melanie B
@notscaryspice.bsky.social
320 followers 840 following 310 posts
led by FOMO like a lemming
😈💩👾🥟🧜🏻‍♀️😸🏎️🍾♐️🏳️‍🌈
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notscaryspice.bsky.social
Renaming my orchid Elizabeth Warren because I moved her closer to the window a month ago, sunburnt her badly, and nevertheless she has persisted: I see a new leaf AND what appears to be a new flower spike
close up of a badly sunburnt orchid stem (lots of dead, brown patches on the leaves) in bark with what looks like a flower spike peaking out
November 11, 2025 at 4:10 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
An edit of the “white girl save me” meme. A series of tweets have been edited to read “lina khan… save me.. ” “lina khan” “save me lina khan”
November 6, 2025 at 12:46 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
I stopped in here and they just looked me up and down and said, “Oooh, well look at you!” ????
A store front with a sign that says “THE SHADE STORE”
June 7, 2025 at 2:48 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
inside you are two burts
Two side-by-side photos of Burt from Severance. On the left is a light photo of innie Burt smiling. On the right is a dark photo of a serious outie Burt.
February 21, 2025 at 6:09 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
he’s a just goofy white boomer who appreciates good music
Text from a contact labeled Dad that says: “Bitch I said what I said.” I have laugh-reacted to the text.
February 11, 2025 at 5:17 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
one thing I’ll always appreciate about my dad is that he’s not just willing to listen to new music, he seeks it out
Text from a contact named Dad that says: “Should I listen to some Doja Cat?”
February 11, 2025 at 5:12 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
9/11 stew (gift link): cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1017...
Screenshot of the Dijon and Cognac Beef Stew recipe (aka the 9/11 stew) from the NYT Cooking app. It says: Dijon and Cognac Beef Stew By Regina Schrambling Time: About 3 hours Rating: 5 stars (10,432) Comments: 1339 This rich, comforting stew was brought to The Times by Regina Schrambling in 2001, in the dark days immediately following the attacks on the World Trade Center. The accompanying article was an ode to the therapeutic benefits of cooking and baking: "Whoever said cooking should be entered into with abandon or not at all had it wrong. Going into it when you have no hope is sometimes just what you need to get to a better place. Long before there were antidepressants, there was stew." This one, while complex in flavor, is not difficult to prepare, but it cannot be rushed. Make it when you have the time to indulge in the meditative qualities of chopping, sauteing, reducing, braising, waiting and tasting. You will be rewarded with an exceptionally flavorful dish that is just as satisfying to eat as it was to cook. A brown stew with chunks of beef, carrots, and mushrooms served over curly egg noodles on a white plate. A closer look at the sauce shows there are a lot of mustard seeds in it. The plate is on a taupe placemat. There is also a small salad in a white bowl, a fork on a napkin, a clear glass filled with water and some ice, and a wine glass with some red wine. The placemat is on a wooden table and you can see a second place setting off to the side and a decanter with more red wine on the table as well.
February 3, 2025 at 6:06 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
made the 9/11 stew last night (it’s truly delicious)

left to run an errand this morning, and when I came home and opened the door, I got hit so hard with the smell
February 3, 2025 at 6:00 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
sir, a second booty call has hit your messages
White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card informing U.S. President George W. Bush about the September 11th attacks.
January 31, 2025 at 3:12 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
From a May 2024 NYT article about the Senate vote on the FAA Reauthorization Act of 2024, by @kaylaguo.bsky.social: www.nytimes.com/2024/05/09/u...
Screenshot from the article that says: The most intense regional fight was over a provision in the bill that would add five round-trip long-haul flights out of Ronald Reagan National Airport outside Washington. Proponents, which include Delta Air Lines, have said they want to expand access to the nation's capital and increase competition. The proposal incensed lawmakers representing the area, who argued that the airport maintains the busiest runway in the country and cannot support additional flights. Senators Tim Kaine and Mark Warner of Virginia and Benjamin L. Cardin and Chris Van Hollen of Maryland, all Democrats, filed an amendment to strike the new flights. Mr. Kaine and Mr. Warner threatened to hold the bill up if they did not receive a vote. But Mr. Cruz blocked an effort to bring up a compromise amendment that would have given the transportation secretary the final say on new flights after considering any effects they would have on delays and passenger safety. Screenshot from the article that says: "The Senate abdicated its responsibility to protect the safety of the 25 million people who fly through D.C.A. every year," Mr. Kaine and Mr. Warner said in a statement. "Some of our colleagues were too afraid to let the experts make the call. They didn't want to show the American people that they care more about a few lawmakers' desire for direct flights than they care about the safety and convenience of the traveling public. That is shameful and an embarrassment." The senators from Virginia and Maryland were the only votes against the bill.
January 30, 2025 at 2:59 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
two playlists, ah ah ah
A modified* screenshot of a Spotify playlist titled “For Mel.” It has 1 save and is 1 hour and 48 min long. The first 4 tracks are visible: 1. “... Synesthesia” by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness 2. “Home (Leave the Lights On)” by Field Report 3 “Time Of Our Lives (feat. Vega4)” by Paul van Dyk, Vega4 4. “Modern Mystery” by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin *Removed the name and profile picture of the person who made the playlist to protect their privacy.
January 30, 2025 at 2:13 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
this is what I get for dating a xillennial hipster who came of age in chicago
text exchange that reads: - me: We should do a music exchange soon - them (and I have laugh reacted to this message): Like go to the music exchange store? - me (this text has an indicator that it was edited): No like each of us makes a playlist of songs that mean something to us and send it to each other - them: Oh. I was way off
January 28, 2025 at 6:02 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
The “White Girl Save Me” meme that’s been modified so it says “lina khan”, who is commissioner of FTC, instead of “white girl.” It shows 3 posts from user @dawgpleasee on Twitter (display name Shail and profile picture is a chubby Yoshi): - 12 hours ago: “save me lina khan” - 6 hours ago: “lina khan” - 37 minutes ago: “lina khan… save me…”
December 11, 2024 at 3:35 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
wait LMAO even better, Dad is mad because Spotify’s inability to keep the shuffle setting on across web, desktop, and mobile have skewed his #SpotifyWrapped results
Screenshot of a text from Dad that says “I listened for 14,254 minutes in 2024. What about you #SpotifyWrapped” The preview of the link from Spotify shows his top 5 artists: 1 Journey 2 Bad Company 3 Steve Miller Band 4 Boston 5 The Cars The preview also shows his top 5 songs: 1 Can't Get Enough ... 2 Movin' On - 2015... 3 Two Tickets to... 4 Jane 5 Baby Hold On... Screenshot of a text from Dad that says: “I think it shows something that I sent a complaint/suggestion about. When you play a playlist (which mine are very very long), Spotify doesn't keep track of where you left off so you can opt to pick up where you left off. It also doesn't hold stuff like "random" as a preference. So as a result, when I start a playlist again and again, it often starts at the beginning of the playlist. I'm so sick of Bad Co because it's at the beginning of a my go to playlist. I didn't play it a lot cuz I love it that much. In fact, it got to Steve Miller second, which I got to where I didn't even like it anymore because it played it so much. That's where l usually remembered that I needed to hit the shuffle button.” The screenshot shows 3 dots that indicates he’s still typing. Screenshot of a text from Dad that says: “Journey was 3rd after Steve Miller. If I survived Steve Miller or kept hitting skip, then l'd get to Journey which there is a lot of that and it holds up to time well. So I think this shows exactly what I think needs to be improved about Spotify more than my preference.”
December 5, 2024 at 3:44 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
update:
Text from Dad that says “I played my top song 29 times in 2024. Have a listen. #SpotifyWrapped” and contains a link to Bad Company’s Can’t Get Enough - 2015 Remaster
December 5, 2024 at 3:31 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
I contain multitudes
Screenshot from my Spotify wrapped about My 2024 Music Evolution: My February: - Speakeasy - Turntablism - Instrumental Hip Hop Listening to artists like RJD2, El Michels Affair, and Onra Screenshot from my Spotify wrapped about My 2024 Music Evolution: My September: - Pink Pilates - Princess Strut - Pop Listening to artists like Lizzo, Taylor Swift, and Chappell Roan
December 4, 2024 at 2:34 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
any buddy got some peanut butter on hand?
Screenshot of the ESPN app showing the score of the Notre Dame-USC game, which is 49-28 with 1:18 left in the 4th quarter. Especially funny (derogatory) are the last 2 scoring plays: - ND TD 3:39: J. Maiava (USC quarterback) pass intercepted, C. Gray return for 99 yds for a TD, USC penalty, Block below the waist on COVINGTONj, Jacobe of (J. Covington). Score now 41-28. - ND TD 1:18: J. Maiava pass intercepted, X. Watts return for 100 yds for a TD (M. Jeter KICK). Score now 48-28.
December 1, 2024 at 12:17 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
~ luv 2 b at my parents’ home at the same time as my sister~
Text conversation with Mama. Mama: Are you taking a nap? Me: No I went to the bathroom Mama: Ok-protecting your sofa Me: Thank you lol
November 30, 2024 at 9:03 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
family lore:
Tweet that says: “cannot emphasize enough how funny it is to me that one of my sisters is an Emmy-winning producer of an entertainment news show, and my other sister just asked her fiancé who the guy they kept zooming in on during the Olympics gymnastics coverage was (it was Tom Cruise).” Tweet also has a screenshot of group chat: Leanna: “they just showed tom cruise during the olympics but I thought they were joking when they said it was tom cruise. I had no idea that's what he looked like” Ali: “Omg” Me: “How” Mama: “He’s highly recognizable 🤷🏼‍♀️” Dad: “Pop Moron Extraordinaire” Tweet that says: “One of my sisters is a 3-time Emmy-winning producer for Entertainment Tonight. My other sister didn't recognize photos of Angelina Jolie or Timothée Chalamet (who she later referred to as "that shallot dude").”
November 28, 2024 at 4:24 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
I love my mom’s recipes, which are either hilariously specific or frustratingly vague
Photo the ingredients for an Oreo Ice Cream Pie from COOKS.COM. The printed ingredient list says 1/2 pkg. Oreo cookies, and my mom has crossed out the 1/2 and written “Whole (after eating 4 cookies)”. Screenshot of my mom’s Chicken Divan recipe that says: “Directions 1) Bake chicken breasts 2) Steam broccoli less than usual 3) Assemble all other ingredients in a bowl”
November 27, 2024 at 9:34 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
a bear once ransacked our house and ate a bunch of our porridge. it was documented in the book Somebody and the Three Blairs.
Cover of the book titled “Somebody and the Three Blairs” by Marilyn Tolhurst and illustrations by Simone Abel. The cover shows a little bear entering the gate to front lawn of a home, and has a few broken and overturned chairs about.
November 25, 2024 at 6:10 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
rewatching The Last Dance, and one of my favorite parts is how they introduce famous non-basketball players based on their relationship to the Chicago Bulls, rather than what they are actually known for.
Photo a TV showing Barack Obama in the 2020 docuseries The Last Dance where he is saying, “I didn’t have the money to buy tickets for a Bulls game.” Under his name is the title “Former Chicago Resident”. Photo a TV showing Bill Clinton in the 2020 docuseries The Last Dance where he is saying, “…and I went down and watched Pippen play. I knew he was gonna be really good.” Under his name is the title “Former Arkansas Governor”.
November 25, 2024 at 5:55 PM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
roasted cauliflower and garlic soup
a blended creamy and cream-colored soup in a blue bowl and garnished with olive oil, some roasted cauliflower and crushed pepper roasted cauliflower florets, roasted cauliflower leaves, and roasted garlic cloves in a stockpot with brownish colored beef broth and water close-up of roasted cauliflower florets, roasted cauliflower leaves, and a roasted garlic bulb on a sheet pan
November 25, 2024 at 6:36 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
excited there’s more motorsport folks on here now, watching races and skeeting at odd hours
the sickos meme: drawing of a thick-eyebrowed man outside a window, hands on the glass, smiling, wearing a black t-shirt that says "SICKOS" on it. word bubble says "YES ... HA HA HA ... YES!"
November 24, 2024 at 7:23 AM
notscaryspice.bsky.social
I love the Dutch, but why would they?

Also, at least half of the point is to be vulgar:
Screenshot of a 2005 definition from urbandictionary.com from “Kong Fuzi” for the word “skeets” that says: to ejaculate, cum, get there; the act of ejaculating.”
November 19, 2024 at 8:00 AM