Josh Nicely
@nicelyjoshed.bsky.social
The @newyorker.com Cartoon Caption Contest wouldn't recognize the prescription symbol, so I'm going to have to subject all of you to my submission instead.
November 11, 2025 at 2:28 AM
The @newyorker.com Cartoon Caption Contest wouldn't recognize the prescription symbol, so I'm going to have to subject all of you to my submission instead.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece as white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to "Whoaaa."
-from "The Keanu Reeves Book of Nursery Rhymes"
Its fleece as white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to "Whoaaa."
-from "The Keanu Reeves Book of Nursery Rhymes"
March 23, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece as white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to "Whoaaa."
-from "The Keanu Reeves Book of Nursery Rhymes"
Its fleece as white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to "Whoaaa."
-from "The Keanu Reeves Book of Nursery Rhymes"
Think of all the sweet and nice things that have been ruined by horror movies: lullabies, dolls, music boxes, the laughter of unseen children down a dark and echoey hallway ...
March 23, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Think of all the sweet and nice things that have been ruined by horror movies: lullabies, dolls, music boxes, the laughter of unseen children down a dark and echoey hallway ...
Some people like cats.
Some people like dogs.
Me, I'm ambipetstrous.
Some people like dogs.
Me, I'm ambipetstrous.
March 23, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Some people like cats.
Some people like dogs.
Me, I'm ambipetstrous.
Some people like dogs.
Me, I'm ambipetstrous.
Boomers when they turned 40:
The Big Chill! Thirty Something! We're not old! Check out my sports car! I have a stud in one ear!
Gen X when they turned forty:
The Big Chill! Thirty Something! We're not old! Check out my sports car! I have a stud in one ear!
Gen X when they turned forty:
March 12, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Boomers when they turned 40:
The Big Chill! Thirty Something! We're not old! Check out my sports car! I have a stud in one ear!
Gen X when they turned forty:
The Big Chill! Thirty Something! We're not old! Check out my sports car! I have a stud in one ear!
Gen X when they turned forty:
"I leave you my portrait so that you will have my presence all the days and nights that I am away from you.
Also, after I die could you put my face on purses and shit like that?"
-Frida Kahlo
Also, after I die could you put my face on purses and shit like that?"
-Frida Kahlo
March 12, 2025 at 2:35 AM
"I leave you my portrait so that you will have my presence all the days and nights that I am away from you.
Also, after I die could you put my face on purses and shit like that?"
-Frida Kahlo
Also, after I die could you put my face on purses and shit like that?"
-Frida Kahlo
1.
2. And if you can read *this* sentence, THEY can see YOU.
2. And if you can read *this* sentence, THEY can see YOU.
March 5, 2025 at 7:59 PM
1.
2. And if you can read *this* sentence, THEY can see YOU.
2. And if you can read *this* sentence, THEY can see YOU.
Time heals all wounds,
but ruins all take-out.
but ruins all take-out.
March 4, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Time heals all wounds,
but ruins all take-out.
but ruins all take-out.
I'm living the dream ... but only because he's not getting enough sleep to be dreaming it.
March 2, 2025 at 5:07 AM
I'm living the dream ... but only because he's not getting enough sleep to be dreaming it.
And lo! A figure did appear upon the pulpit, bathed in a great light. He held aloft an orb inscribed with a sacrament, And he was saying "I twenty-seven!" Then he bestowed great gifts upon the chosen who were crying "Bingo! Bingo!" For Bingo was his name-o.
February 28, 2025 at 9:21 PM
And lo! A figure did appear upon the pulpit, bathed in a great light. He held aloft an orb inscribed with a sacrament, And he was saying "I twenty-seven!" Then he bestowed great gifts upon the chosen who were crying "Bingo! Bingo!" For Bingo was his name-o.
It really doesn't matter if you suck at it; babies love the human beatbox.
February 26, 2025 at 8:34 PM
It really doesn't matter if you suck at it; babies love the human beatbox.
I'm starting to regret getting the glow-in-the-dark tattoos inside my eyelids.
February 26, 2025 at 8:28 PM
I'm starting to regret getting the glow-in-the-dark tattoos inside my eyelids.
Why'd it take thirty years to catch Tupac's killer? They found Kurt Cobain's killer, like, right away.
February 26, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Why'd it take thirty years to catch Tupac's killer? They found Kurt Cobain's killer, like, right away.
What do you want for your salad? Iceberg?
Nah, I'm more of a
Nah, I'm more of a
February 26, 2025 at 8:20 PM
What do you want for your salad? Iceberg?
Nah, I'm more of a
Nah, I'm more of a
You know what could use a prequel? ALF. It could be about his life as a regular Joe back on his home planet. Give it a swingin' doo-wop theme song ... ooh, sung by cats! That'd be hilari-- buhhubbaWHAAA?
ALF: The Animated Series Intro (HQ)
YouTube video by Chris Elchesyn
www.youtube.com
February 20, 2025 at 2:33 AM
You know what could use a prequel? ALF. It could be about his life as a regular Joe back on his home planet. Give it a swingin' doo-wop theme song ... ooh, sung by cats! That'd be hilari-- buhhubbaWHAAA?
Now's the time to buy, apparently.
February 20, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Now's the time to buy, apparently.
Saw an ad for Carrie Underwood, but momentarily misread it as "Woody Undercarriage."
You know, in case any of you are looking for a male stripper name.
You know, in case any of you are looking for a male stripper name.
February 20, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Saw an ad for Carrie Underwood, but momentarily misread it as "Woody Undercarriage."
You know, in case any of you are looking for a male stripper name.
You know, in case any of you are looking for a male stripper name.
Twinkle, twinkle, @phillamarr.bsky.social
How I wonder: "how you are?"
Up above the world so high,
Like a cartoon samurai
How I wonder: "how you are?"
Up above the world so high,
Like a cartoon samurai
February 20, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Twinkle, twinkle, @phillamarr.bsky.social
How I wonder: "how you are?"
Up above the world so high,
Like a cartoon samurai
How I wonder: "how you are?"
Up above the world so high,
Like a cartoon samurai
Casper? Velma? Kermit?
Kids show always ruin classic names.
I mean, I can't remember the last time I met a kid named Gigantor or Jabberjaw or The Herculoids.
Kids show always ruin classic names.
I mean, I can't remember the last time I met a kid named Gigantor or Jabberjaw or The Herculoids.
February 20, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Casper? Velma? Kermit?
Kids show always ruin classic names.
I mean, I can't remember the last time I met a kid named Gigantor or Jabberjaw or The Herculoids.
Kids show always ruin classic names.
I mean, I can't remember the last time I met a kid named Gigantor or Jabberjaw or The Herculoids.
"I don't use Windows. I'm more of an Apple guy."
And other phrases that would have been utterly baffling fifty years ago.
And other phrases that would have been utterly baffling fifty years ago.
February 20, 2025 at 12:35 AM
"I don't use Windows. I'm more of an Apple guy."
And other phrases that would have been utterly baffling fifty years ago.
And other phrases that would have been utterly baffling fifty years ago.
How to identify the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
February 20, 2025 at 12:33 AM
How to identify the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
