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nerdy281mom.blacksky.app
S.
@nerdy281mom.blacksky.app
210 followers 130 following 1.5K posts
Pretty and witty with AuDHD inscrutability.

Mom. Consultant. Professor. Third culture kid. I will always stop for a donut.

(Staying informed here, but mostly doing lots of things elsewhere.)
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Reposted by S.
supernovaparenting.org
Mistaken Goal Chart The child's goal is: If the parent/ teacher feels: And tends to react by: And if the child's response is: The Belief behind child's behavior is: How adults may contribute: Coded messages Parent/teacher proactive and empowering responses include: Undue Attention (to keep others busy or get special service)| Annoyed Worried Guilty Reminding Coaxing Doing things for the another disturbing child he/she could do for him/herself Stops temporarily, but 1 count (belong) later resumes same of loniy when r'mi behavior. Stops when given one- service. on-one attention. being noticed or getting special I'm only important when I'm keeping you busy with me. "I don't have faith in you to deal with disappointment." "I feel guilty if you aren't happy." Notice Mel Involve Me Usefully Mroirreeyero ny chud te wrete os to sain usctul aitencion, Sywnyou wilo.oeousno _* (Example: "I care about you and will spend time with you later.) Avoid soecial services: Say it only once and then act; Have laith in chald to deal with teeling" (don't fix or rescue); Plan special time; Set up routines; Engape child in problem-solving: Use Tamiy/dass mecungs, Ignore (touch without words); Set up nonverbal signals. Misguided Power (to be boss) Angry Challenged Threatened Fighting Giving in Thinking "You can't get away with it" or "I'll make you" Wanting to be right Intensifies behavior Defiant compliance Feels he/she's won when parenyteacner Passive Power 1 belong only when "Tm in control and or proving, no one I'm boss, in control, you must do what I say." "I believe that telling You can't make me. you what to do, and lecturing or punishing you when you don't do it, is the best way to motivate you to do better." Let Me Help Give Me Choices| Acknow cont that you can t maxe) him/her do something and redirect to positive power by asking for help; Offer a limited choice; Don't fight and don't give in; Withdraw from contlict and calm cown; Be firm and kind; Act, don't talk; Decide wh…
October 6, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Reposted by S.
supernovaparenting.org
Positive Discipline Workbook Jane Nelsen It is not your job to make your children happy If you believe it is your job to make your children happy, it is likely that they will take you up on it and insist that you do? ("I'm entitled.") Instead, teach your children to be kind, compassionate, respectful problem-solvers. Watch Connie Podesta at: www.positivediscipline.com/videos You create weakness by: • Pleasing • Rescuing • Over-protecting • Pampering (providing all "wants") • Micromanaging in the name of love • Giving too many choices • Making sure children never suffer The story of the little boy and the butterfly may help you understand how rescuing children from all suffering creates weakness. A little boy felt sorry for a butterfly struggling to emerge from its chrysalis. He decided to help so he could save the butterfly from the struggle. He peeled the chrysalis open and was so excited to watch the butterfly spread its wings and fly off into the sky. Then he was horrified as he watched the butterfly drift to the ground and die because it did not have the muscle strength to keep flying. It is important that parents do not make children suffer, but sometimes it is helpful to "allow" them to suffer with support (empathy). For example, suppose a child "suffers" because she can't have the toy she wants. Allowing her to suffer through this experience can help her develop her resiliency muscles. She learns that she can survive the ups and downs of life-leading to a sense of capability and competency. The support part is that you validate her feelings and/or show understanding. Then skip the lectures and have faith in your child to handle it. Lesson Three www.positivediscipline.com Page Positive Discipline Workbook Natural Consequences A natural consequence is what happens naturally, with no adult interference. When you stand in the rain, you get wet. When you don't eat, you get hungry. When you forget your coat, you get cold. Jane Nelsen I GOT WAT No piggy backing: Adults piggy back when they scold, "I told you so," or anything that adds more blame, shame, or pain than the child might experience naturally from his or her choices. Children usually feel bad or guilty when they make a mistake. They want to do better. Piggy backing lessens the learning that can occur from experiencing a natural consequence because the child stops learning and focuses on absorbing or defending against the blame, shame, and pain. Show empathy and understanding for what the child is experiencing: "I'll bet it was hard to go hungry (get wet, get that bad grade, lose your bicycle)." When it seems appropriate, you could add, "I love you and have faith in you to handle this." No rescuing or fixing: It can be difficult for parents to be supportive without rescuing or over-protecting, but it is one of the most encouraging things you can do to help your children develop a sense of capability. They learn from their own experience that they can handle the ups and downs of life. Lesson Four www.positivediscipline.com Page 5 Positive Discipline Workbook Jane Nelsen Logical Consequences Logical Consequences are different from natural consequences in that they require the intervention of an adult. It is important to decide what kind of consequence would create a helpful learning experience that might encourage a child to learn social and life skills. Examples: 1. If you break a window, you can earn money to pay for it. 2. If you bring a toy to school, the teacher will hold it until after school. 3. If you miss the bus, you may need to walk. 4. If your clothes are not in the hamper they won't get washed. The Three R's and an H of Logical Consequences 1. Related 2. Respectful 3. Reasonable (to everyone concerned) 4. Helpful If any of the 3 R's or the H is missing, it is not a logical consequence. Lesson Four www.positivediscipline.com Page 6 Positive Discipline Workbook No More Logical Consequences— At Least Hardly Ever Jane Nelsen Focus on Solutions What is the problem? What is the solution? I have been a Positive Discipline Parent Educator for many years, so l was surprised and delighted that power struggles diminished significantly when I stopped using logical consequences and started focusing on solutions with my children. — Kate Ortolano, Certified Positive Discipline Trainer and co-author of Positive Discipline: A Teacher's A-Z Guide. Mistakes are Wonderful Opportunities to Learn. Involving children in finding solutions is an excellent way to help them feel encouraged and empowered. Lesson Four www.positivediscipline.com Page 8
October 6, 2025 at 10:47 PM
nerdy281mom.blacksky.app
Exactly! And I confess that means *I* am responsible for being safe and. supportive. And that’s hard some days!
October 7, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Reposted by S.
supernovaparenting.org
The thing that keeps me going… I won’t always be here.
She deserves to be a whole human.
She can handle all emotions and situations, and if she can’t, it’s my job to help her figure out what she needs
October 6, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Reposted by S.
852dude.bsky.social
Mooncake technology has made great advancements.

bsky.app/profile/852d...
852dude.bsky.social 852dude @852dude.bsky.social · Aug 25
Beef. Wellington. Mooncakes.
Mini beef wellington shaped like mooncakes. No egg
October 6, 2025 at 2:41 AM
nerdy281mom.blacksky.app
happy birthday month, Kimmy! not that you asked, but building a curated digital archive that inspires Black women to lean into being healthy, wealthy, and smart is a very cool achievement.
October 5, 2025 at 9:20 PM
nerdy281mom.blacksky.app
I forgot too mention that they’re partnering with Palantir for this

“The company says its enterprise platform will also be available through Palantir’s FedStart, enabling deployment in higher security environments.”

t.co/Y3CuC7VvFz
https://athletechnews.com/oura-brings-manufacturing-to-texas/
t.co
October 4, 2025 at 5:55 AM
nerdy281mom.blacksky.app
t.co/DsAUs3S5mB ☹️☹️
https://fortworthreport.org/2025/08/27/smart-ring-company-with-defense-contracts-to-base-manufacturing-in-fort-worth/
t.co
October 4, 2025 at 5:51 AM
nerdy281mom.blacksky.app
isn’t it? especially since really hopped on the women’s health train with the latest iteration of their product. I was so excited to get one but luckily didn’t.
October 4, 2025 at 5:50 AM
nerdy281mom.blacksky.app
Also I read that even before the contract, 12 really could subpoena Oura for your bio data to prove that you were at the scene of a crime.

So yeah, basically everyone is 12 now.
October 4, 2025 at 3:47 AM