From entertainment—

Inspector Lestrade: You know, in another life, you'd have made an excellent criminal.

Sherlock Holmes: Yes, and you, sir, an excellent policeman.

At a family gathering talk turned to hairdressers and barbers.
My mum said, “Oh, Steven’s found a fantastic new barber”.

At which my nine year old niece turned, looked me straight in the eye and said, “When’s your first appointment?”

Charlie Pierce on Lauren Boebert: “My eternal apologies to boxes of rocks, sacks of hair, and bags of hammers. You deserved better."

I pointed out that baby back ribs weren't as flexible as human ribs while my 13yo nephew was "helping" his grandma finish her plate. He stopped for about 7 seconds, then continued eating.

After that, he started calling me "Weird Uncle Michael"

There are people better at sarcasm than Elizabeth Warren

But she's damn quick on her feet 😄

Those under 50 need a reference. This is a real tan.

/2 My lovely wife is a very smart PhD with many excellent qualities but resistance to being trolled and rage baited by her children is not one of them

No. The argument is about whether, if there is a Rapture, cats get chosen, and if so, whether it is only some cats. Kid2 picked up my play expertly and is telling my wife that clearly cats don’t know Jesus and would not like Him if they did.

Some cats are beyond Redemption.

I'm sure they'll be very happy to sleep in barracks again instead of on the floor in some federal building.

I hope Pan Bondi's Daughter and son-in-law find a really smelly, understaffed Nursing Home where they don't change her diaper regularly. She'll has to sit in her own filth for days.