Mustard Glaze
@mustardglaze.bsky.social
Former young person. Future old person. Also future dead person. Also former non-existent person.
Call me old-fashioned, but I think people should have to pay for an additional ticket if they want to bring their bear carcass onboard.
December 10, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Call me old-fashioned, but I think people should have to pay for an additional ticket if they want to bring their bear carcass onboard.
Those uppity kids with their insulation and their polio vaccines. If you weren't freezing and hobbled, your childhood sucked!
December 10, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Those uppity kids with their insulation and their polio vaccines. If you weren't freezing and hobbled, your childhood sucked!
Over 150,000 Americans are killed every year by sandwiches yielded by people they loved and trusted.
December 8, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Over 150,000 Americans are killed every year by sandwiches yielded by people they loved and trusted.
You begin to wonder if he even knows he's alive.
December 6, 2025 at 8:55 AM
You begin to wonder if he even knows he's alive.
Bathroom magazine rack.
December 4, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Bathroom magazine rack.
And the incontinence problem disappeared with the pants. The end.
December 1, 2025 at 1:46 PM
And the incontinence problem disappeared with the pants. The end.
Develop this a little more and it could become a haiku.
November 30, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Develop this a little more and it could become a haiku.
Mabel is the Highlander!!
November 25, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Mabel is the Highlander!!
That will be the welcome video at his presidential library. The corridor will then feed into the tour of the gold plane, after which the visitor will be kicked in the groin.
October 21, 2025 at 6:21 AM
That will be the welcome video at his presidential library. The corridor will then feed into the tour of the gold plane, after which the visitor will be kicked in the groin.
No, you're all wrong. He's playing -1D chess.
October 8, 2025 at 9:08 PM
No, you're all wrong. He's playing -1D chess.
He's just giving Russia a 1200% discount on time.
September 29, 2025 at 5:13 AM
He's just giving Russia a 1200% discount on time.
The same clutzy videographer had ealier triggered a safety mechanism in the chair Trump was sitting in.
September 24, 2025 at 5:24 AM
The same clutzy videographer had ealier triggered a safety mechanism in the chair Trump was sitting in.
These morning speeches - is there a podium involved?
September 24, 2025 at 5:15 AM
These morning speeches - is there a podium involved?
Tylenol is composed of tiny microchips. I use it to power my computer and track my dog, among other things.
September 23, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Tylenol is composed of tiny microchips. I use it to power my computer and track my dog, among other things.
Well, sure. Legality is really more of a feeling or vibe.
September 21, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Well, sure. Legality is really more of a feeling or vibe.
The apple doesn't fall far from the orgy.
September 19, 2025 at 9:59 AM
The apple doesn't fall far from the orgy.
Why is Scott Jennings?
September 18, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Why is Scott Jennings?
Exactly - practice makes perfect!
September 18, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Exactly - practice makes perfect!
The easiest explanation here is that Americans are just better shots.
September 18, 2025 at 11:13 AM
The easiest explanation here is that Americans are just better shots.
Try countering with "Yahtzee!" and see if she gets the hint.
September 18, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Try countering with "Yahtzee!" and see if she gets the hint.
I don't know a straight one.
September 16, 2025 at 4:13 PM
I don't know a straight one.