MsEllaSimone
@msellasimone.bsky.social
Ella. My greatest ambition is to own a Giraffe and ride it into the West End. And to build a hotel for goats, up a tree
That Hegseth prick’s speech was just this, wasn’t it?
Well this is what I heard, with FAFO proudly scattered through the lyrics.
Well this is what I heard, with FAFO proudly scattered through the lyrics.
September 30, 2025 at 5:50 PM
That Hegseth prick’s speech was just this, wasn’t it?
Well this is what I heard, with FAFO proudly scattered through the lyrics.
Well this is what I heard, with FAFO proudly scattered through the lyrics.
Female. What’s her name?
August 23, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Female. What’s her name?
Look how lovely my garden looks now I’ve put a big red dog in it
August 5, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Look how lovely my garden looks now I’ve put a big red dog in it
Back to work after a long weekend where I ate all the seafood and received a summerdog
August 5, 2025 at 6:48 AM
Back to work after a long weekend where I ate all the seafood and received a summerdog
I’ve had a few of my London squad over today, it was good times. Eating, drinking (no booze), a country walk, chatting about everything and nothing, and a perfect little housewarming gift (coasters made of vinyl)
July 19, 2025 at 9:32 PM
I’ve had a few of my London squad over today, it was good times. Eating, drinking (no booze), a country walk, chatting about everything and nothing, and a perfect little housewarming gift (coasters made of vinyl)
Sweaty post-rave selfie because tonight I did some raving in a field. It was excellent.
Tomorrow we spa (not the convenience store)
Tomorrow we spa (not the convenience store)
July 11, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Sweaty post-rave selfie because tonight I did some raving in a field. It was excellent.
Tomorrow we spa (not the convenience store)
Tomorrow we spa (not the convenience store)
A little video of sanctuary life
June 4, 2025 at 11:48 AM
A little video of sanctuary life
Nigel escaped this morning, and headed straight to brunch
May 25, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Nigel escaped this morning, and headed straight to brunch
Just two former hedonists trying to make plans to see each other, as we’ve just been too busy being middle aged to meet up for 6 months.
When did this happen??
When did this happen??
May 13, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Just two former hedonists trying to make plans to see each other, as we’ve just been too busy being middle aged to meet up for 6 months.
When did this happen??
When did this happen??
Vesper being all demure and not at all a tiny terrorist.
April 19, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Vesper being all demure and not at all a tiny terrorist.
After 2 weeks of these fatties visiting me and just sitting on my fence watching me garden, they have figured out where I spend the rest of the daylight hours.
April 15, 2025 at 4:11 PM
After 2 weeks of these fatties visiting me and just sitting on my fence watching me garden, they have figured out where I spend the rest of the daylight hours.
‘I hate this light. I want a light that’s basically a disco ball’
April 13, 2025 at 8:33 AM
‘I hate this light. I want a light that’s basically a disco ball’
After feeding them daily for 3 months, I thought they’d come to be friends, but they are obviously pigeon porn stars who just wanted me to film them having sex
March 29, 2025 at 7:38 PM
After feeding them daily for 3 months, I thought they’d come to be friends, but they are obviously pigeon porn stars who just wanted me to film them having sex
Help. 20% of my garden is infested with cunts.
Sorry - Misspelt ‘running bamboo roots’
I’ve dug out two thirds of them, but needed a break to sledgehammer-smash up the path to reach the tenacious cunts underneath.
Sorry - Misspelt ‘running bamboo roots’
I’ve dug out two thirds of them, but needed a break to sledgehammer-smash up the path to reach the tenacious cunts underneath.
March 29, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Help. 20% of my garden is infested with cunts.
Sorry - Misspelt ‘running bamboo roots’
I’ve dug out two thirds of them, but needed a break to sledgehammer-smash up the path to reach the tenacious cunts underneath.
Sorry - Misspelt ‘running bamboo roots’
I’ve dug out two thirds of them, but needed a break to sledgehammer-smash up the path to reach the tenacious cunts underneath.
My evergreen clematis is bringing all the big fat bumblebees and I’m trying to make friends with them.
Apparently making kissy noises as fatty-bees doesn’t encourage them over to you.
I’ll cover myself in honey next, that’ll make them friend me up.
Apparently making kissy noises as fatty-bees doesn’t encourage them over to you.
I’ll cover myself in honey next, that’ll make them friend me up.
March 29, 2025 at 11:35 AM
My evergreen clematis is bringing all the big fat bumblebees and I’m trying to make friends with them.
Apparently making kissy noises as fatty-bees doesn’t encourage them over to you.
I’ll cover myself in honey next, that’ll make them friend me up.
Apparently making kissy noises as fatty-bees doesn’t encourage them over to you.
I’ll cover myself in honey next, that’ll make them friend me up.
A bag I wanted since summer has been residences from £350 to £190 so I’ve treated myself.
Within 15 minutes Otis has commandeered it.
Boys got taste.
Within 15 minutes Otis has commandeered it.
Boys got taste.
March 17, 2025 at 2:37 PM
A bag I wanted since summer has been residences from £350 to £190 so I’ve treated myself.
Within 15 minutes Otis has commandeered it.
Boys got taste.
Within 15 minutes Otis has commandeered it.
Boys got taste.
“Have you made any friends in your new area Ella?”
Yep!
Yep!
March 6, 2025 at 3:43 PM
“Have you made any friends in your new area Ella?”
Yep!
Yep!
Popped out to the my nearest shop to buy some baccy and haribo.
I haven’t moved to the countryside. I promise.
I haven’t moved to the countryside. I promise.
March 6, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Popped out to the my nearest shop to buy some baccy and haribo.
I haven’t moved to the countryside. I promise.
I haven’t moved to the countryside. I promise.
Instagram have finally stopped advertising this hideous dresses at me.
Now it’s thinly veiled ads for bumhole bleach.
Seriously. ‘Get ready for the beach by lightening up your balloon knot’.
Lunacy.
Now it’s thinly veiled ads for bumhole bleach.
Seriously. ‘Get ready for the beach by lightening up your balloon knot’.
Lunacy.
March 4, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Instagram have finally stopped advertising this hideous dresses at me.
Now it’s thinly veiled ads for bumhole bleach.
Seriously. ‘Get ready for the beach by lightening up your balloon knot’.
Lunacy.
Now it’s thinly veiled ads for bumhole bleach.
Seriously. ‘Get ready for the beach by lightening up your balloon knot’.
Lunacy.