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mrscrabapple.bsky.social
not your mom
@mrscrabapple.bsky.social
1.1K followers 1.2K following 2K posts
powerful and dangerous. born at 333ppm. feminist killjoy forged in fires of rage & grief. renamed by teenagers formerly housed inside me.

i am not a serious person, but i wish you well with that.

impatiently waiting for connor’s wedding.

no is golden.
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mrscrabapple.bsky.social
my mantra 4eva
December 3, 2025 at 2:01 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
i think this is still my favorite thing from 2025. so stupid on the most perfect ways.
Madame (of Waylon and Madame) a puppet with a large chin and other features, with aviator sunglasses photoshopped on. side by side with sarah palin, wearing aviator glasses, looking like a madame twin. striking remembrance. madame was more pleasant and she was notorious hag to everyone on hollywood squares etc.
December 2, 2025 at 2:58 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
i’ve been holding this meme since february and still feel it every day. more today.
little girl in pigtails and pink shirt shrugging and holding hands out like i don’t know with the caption: “ all i am saying is that the first reporter who yells out “what the fuck are you talking about?” should get a pulitzer prize “
November 21, 2025 at 12:21 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
my son sends his best wishes
fortune cookie with odd offset misprint that reads: missed the boat. Only one who attempts the absurd
November 16, 2025 at 1:08 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
omg, another one this morning. blocked too. but these are not safe people.
screenshot of a snitch tag post: Doug Ramsdell @dimmsd... • 21m special to @amyharmon.bsky.social at the NY Times. DONT BETRAY YOUR SOURCES. • your mom @mrscraba... • 14h @ Bluesky Elder heads up to anyone who holds trans kids near: amy harmon from the nyt is searching for and having a hard time finding people to interview to find out exactly what trans kids are doing when their care is limited or cut off, and for purposes of community safety, please shut the fuck up around her.
November 6, 2025 at 11:19 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
because i blocked them, here’s a screenshot from clearsky - i wouldn’t normally snitch, but WTF honestly. not a safe person.
swingstatevoter.bsky.social 4 hours ago Yeah, it turns out when the paper you work for constantly platform transphobes who peddle disinformation about trans kids and their care, people stop trusting that paper and don't want to speak w/ reporters employed by that paper. Who could have foreseen that happening....? @amyharmon.bsky.social
November 6, 2025 at 1:02 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
perfect.
marla darla and carla dressed incognito as models in trench coats and jewel toned berets preparing to frame miss piggy for theft of jewels in the Great Muppet Caper.
October 26, 2025 at 11:14 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness (if you feel like it)
in a still from the linguini incident, and exasperated monte (david bowie) squats in a chair next to an exhausted and exasperated viv (eszter balint) who has a white rabbit on her lap. they stare ahead.
October 23, 2025 at 2:28 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
damn right
miss piggy scales a wall to get into a house in the great muppet caper, which also features a jewel heist from a museum and is spectacular.
October 20, 2025 at 4:22 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
yes, and…
carla darla and marla from the great muppet caper
October 19, 2025 at 10:43 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
who robbed the louvre? right answers only?! well.
carla, marla, and darla from the great muppet caper. three models who are also secret baddies. in this photo they wear colorful berets and khaki overcoats, and stand near an elevator.
October 19, 2025 at 3:38 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
they should just rebrand
TYLENOL Nice try. Release the Epstein files.
October 10, 2025 at 10:56 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
she’s all over those antifas.
ingrid bergman in Notorius
October 9, 2025 at 10:52 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
Undrowned:
Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals
by Alexis Pauline Gumbs
cover of teal book with yellow and white print, with three dark blue dolphins in spiral together at the center and EMERGENT STRATEGY SERIES (in small red box at top). UNDROWNED BLACK FEMINIST LESSONS from MARINE MAMMALS Alexis Pauline Gumbs
September 27, 2025 at 1:41 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
this shit belong so normalized continues to fuck me up. what are we doing?
screenshot of an email, identifying information blacked out. Dog Search on Campus Families, Today, we had a spontaneous dog search on campus. Classrooms were chosen at random and BHS administration entered a few classrooms with the ASO's K-9 dog unit (along with the dog's trained handler) to sniff for drugs. Students were asked to line up outside of the classroom and leave their backpacks and belongings in the classrooms while the trained dogs and their handlers walk through the chosen rooms. As always, please continue to remind your student "if they see something, say something" Thank you for helping us keep our campus safe. BHS Administration FORTIFYFL
September 25, 2025 at 5:06 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
noted by motherfucking former AG Bill Barr’s dad, who wrote *really* sketchy erotic sci-fi fiction, i honestly cannot even. see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_R...
a screenshot of part of the plot summary of Bill Barr’s father’s fiction that is grody: Craig, who now is campaigning to bring Kossar into the empire, had previously been to the planet when the passenger ship on which he was travelling on a return trip from the Betelgeuse Conference was captured by space pirates. While en route to Kossar, one of the pirates awakened Craig and the other prisoners to rape a 15-year-old virginal redheaded female captive in front of them; the rapist's fellow pirates later hear of this and dock his pay as punishment for spoiling her market value. Craig then spent two years as a slave of the beautiful, sensual, and sadistic Lady Morgan Sidney, the only female member of the oligarchy, with whom he became romantically involved. Todether. thev lived in her castle.
September 9, 2025 at 1:38 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
my crone age verification is that while searching for this image i discovered that greg (the og yellow wiggle) was saved by an audience member when he had a heart attack at a performance five years ago.

there’s a lot happening with that crew, i dunno.
Greg Page throw your arms around me A serious slow jams album he has signed for someone named jennifer “wiggle on!” Greg, the original yellow wiggle who was like bill clinton for a marginally younger crowd. the wiggles were fine. i didn’t want to break the tv when they were on. but i also didn’t ever want to make out with greg.
August 27, 2025 at 10:06 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
they’re both gaining followers, you love to see it!
screenshot of the Centro de los Derechos Migrante, an amazing workers’ rights organization with a tony little account on Bluesky that i personally hope grows huge. text: CENTRO DE LOS DERECHOS DEL MIGRANTE, INC. Following Centro de los Derechos del Migrante @cdmigrante.bsky.social 92 followers 135 following 10 posts CDM is a binational workers' rights organization. Recipient of the 2022 Presidential Award for Extraordinary Efforts to Combat Trafficking in Persons.
July 13, 2025 at 9:44 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
the glitch is too real
screenshot of hbo max app with image (from the gilded age) - gowns and jewels and fancy room of a robber baron and family blah blah blah - with the text AMERICAN MONSTER TV-14 12 Seasons Never-before-seen footage looks into the eyes of ruthless killers hiding among us.
June 27, 2025 at 1:14 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
this is who runs this account
small blond child in a sundress stand barefoot on an orange chair next to a door. the wall behind her is teal, with areas of white
June 18, 2025 at 10:50 AM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
yes thank you.
screenshot of phone lock screen, saturday June 14, 4:20 picture of Audrey Horne vibing to her song at the RR. eyes closed, head tilted back, feeling the music. the floor is beige and red checkered, and coats are hanging in the background near a window.
June 14, 2025 at 8:24 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
what is up the letter i just got from mori hosseini?
excerpt from screenshot of email: “The Board of Governors failure to confirm Dr. Ono is deeply disappointing to our Board of Trustees. We believe Dr. Ono was uniquely qualified to lead this University at this moment. The symbolism and substance of a sitting president of a university as prestigious as the University of Michigan choosing to come to the University of Florida should not be lost. It was a powerful signal that Florida's model for higher education - grounded in merit, academic excellence, institutional neutrality, and accountability to students and taxpayers - is earning the trust and interest of top-tier leaders across the country who are ready to advance that vision. Still, we remain focused on our mission and united in our commitment to this institution. Let me be clear: this moment, while disappointing to our Board of Trustees and many of you, will not diminish the University of Florida's momentum, with or without Mori Hosseini. We remain firmly committed to our students, our faculty, our staff, and our role as a national leader in public higher education. Our responsibility now is to move forward with strength, purpose, and an unshakable belief in UF's future. We will continue to pursue the kind of bold, principled, and forward-thinking leadership that Gator Nation deserves. Go Gators, Mori Hosseini Chair, UF Board of Trustees”
June 6, 2025 at 7:52 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
TACOOOOOOOOOOO!
moo deng, baby hippo with sass, lies on a pot and yells defiantly, mouth wide open, shouting into the air.
May 28, 2025 at 6:05 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
i’m sorry but this is fucking hilarious.
on the left, puppet Madam of waylon and madam, reading aviators. on the right, apparently, is sarah palin, eerily similar looking, wearing aviators and a chin implant? it’s very weird.
April 22, 2025 at 9:56 PM
mrscrabapple.bsky.social
the recent decree that every cup from starbucks needs a little drawing or note on it went from an elaborate squidward a few weeks back to today’s (admittedly accurate but definitely not inspiring) cup.

please let the baristas be. demanding they draw and chat up the drive thru is fucking weird.
starbucks cup with a “smile” drawn on the side with a sharpie, which is a couple of dots and a barely curved line (giving MEH).
March 31, 2025 at 12:49 PM