When any sentence starts with “effectively”, you know with 100% certainty 100% of the time that the rest of the sentence is really lazily thought through bullshit.

He would be hammering that point home for all of eternity if Harris had won by the same margin.

After demanding 10 recounts, obviously.

Am I allowed a cup of English breakfast tea at 11.31am, or is that off limits too?

My naive brain can’t even comprehend that he would DELIBERATELY Sieg Heil on stage in front of a global audience.

So if he *accidentally* Sieg Heiled in front of a global audience, does he not have the slightest shred of awareness to realise that that gesture should be avoided at all costs?

The very same low sun that attempts to give you laser eye surgery while you’re driving along the M4.

Do people know if the US even has any legal right to Hawaii? Alaska? Puerto Rico? US Virgin Islands? Guam? Northern Mariana Islands? American Samoa?

But if they do, they should give them up.

It would be up there with squirting bleach up your nose to cure yourself of Covid.

I’ve got a nagging theory that the incoming convicted felon president has hatched the most cunning of cunning plans to seize Greenland and rapidly thaw it out with some large heaters.

He will then immediately turn it into his own personal Trump-branded property and leisure development opportunity.

He looks like the ‘before’ photo in the deluge of magic hair regrowth shampoo adverts I keep seeing on Facebook