Its not going to wipe their arse for them.

Irish whip in Ireland?

Does the first five minutes last for half an hour?

‘Trick or Treating’ was referred to as ‘Halloweening’ in my day and usually involved a badly carved turnip with a candle inside. ‘Penny for the guy’ was probably just as popular in mid 80s Northumberland when there was still dangerous neighbourhood bonfires.

There’s no way I’m paying to stay in hotel owned and operated by a small dog. Not even with fake money.

Blessed are the pissmakers.

Gets paid for allowing antiperspirant manufacturers R&D departments to run experiments on him.

I want a Trio and I want one now.

Plinth.

They’d probably be using a straw man argument.

Anna Joaquín Skywalker.

Missing Jacob Murphy.

Was the fan eating a sandwich?