Bread: up.
Circuses: down.
DJ Juvenal: "Woahhh, we're halfway therrrre!"

Do you think Robins ever get the inclination to tear through the grass thinking "rraarrgh: I'm a velociraptor!" like an eight year old? That instinct has to be in there somewhere.

I honestly did not know this was a second movie. You should have to wait until your merchandise from the first movie is flushed out of TJMaxx before announcing a sequel.

I was also momentarily interested thinking this picture was part of the plot:

She looks like a rejected supervillain called 'Yarnia the Moth Queen' or something.

CNN BREAKING NEWS: A new poll indicates a significant portion of U.S. birds may prefer seeds to vinyl records.

Great! Now the real fun begins: finding out how the Democrats will screw up!

- Clinging to meaningless issues?
- Bluewashing billionaires?
- Acquiescing to quasi-centrists?
- Lying around in a post-orgasmic haze for three years and failing to take action?

It's all on the table!
#bluecrew #bluewave

Way to go! America's #1! Call Jon Favreau!

Meanwhile...

#immigration #dystopia

Said with the conviction of someone looking to hookup at a grocery store.

I have no idea what the criteria are for judging, what the winner gets, or how much galena I should have in my protein powder, but voted anyway as soon someone told me what to think.

I'm also naming my daughter 'Galeighna' because it sounds pretteigh.

#merica #votelead #nayhmes

Chaos bisexual dave sounds like the handle of the russian hacker who will invalidate the penguin of the year election.

Especially if you used to work at Amazon and are crashing it.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE AI ASK ME TO LEAVE QUIETLY, MEAGHAN??"

With pink paint, this defacing could have been much, much worse.

Fortunately our justice department is reinforced by an infallible backstop: true-crime documentaries and the 145 million viewers solving crimes on their couch while eating doritos.

Justice = Doritos

#truecrime #coolranchluke