Tom Smith
@modernmasculinity.bsky.social
"Anti-tech" contrarian, Waldorf dad, marketer, and guy who has opinions.
Considering I’m still not living in my “masculine”, yes, I can 🤣 I was one of those. And because of that I thought I was an introvert for years
January 23, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Considering I’m still not living in my “masculine”, yes, I can 🤣 I was one of those. And because of that I thought I was an introvert for years
I think that’s another question, though, and one that has a lot of parallels with Ancient Greece, too, the rise of stoicism, and the modern rise of broicism 🙂 society seems to lurch between debauched and uptight 🤣
January 23, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I think that’s another question, though, and one that has a lot of parallels with Ancient Greece, too, the rise of stoicism, and the modern rise of broicism 🙂 society seems to lurch between debauched and uptight 🤣
We were very clear on treating our children the same and encouraging the same behavior. Our son has developed a lot of masculine traits, with all the good and bad, and our daughter a lot of feminine. We were super careful. This is just the expression of themselves. They both got the same treatment.
January 23, 2025 at 5:48 PM
We were very clear on treating our children the same and encouraging the same behavior. Our son has developed a lot of masculine traits, with all the good and bad, and our daughter a lot of feminine. We were super careful. This is just the expression of themselves. They both got the same treatment.
The only reason for labeling is to make it easier to talk about. “Masculine” traits are more often embodied by men. Many of these traits have been held up as the gold standard at the exclusion of women, who did not hold those traits. I feel that’s why it’s so easy to mix masculinity and misogyny
January 23, 2025 at 5:42 PM
The only reason for labeling is to make it easier to talk about. “Masculine” traits are more often embodied by men. Many of these traits have been held up as the gold standard at the exclusion of women, who did not hold those traits. I feel that’s why it’s so easy to mix masculinity and misogyny
Yes, this is 100%. Totally agree.
January 23, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Yes, this is 100%. Totally agree.
I understand you. In my view, and from my experience as a man who has not been particularly masculine, masculinity and femininity are labels to describe traits that are not exclusive but trend toward men or women. And they are not fixed. When put that way, does it make sense?
January 23, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I understand you. In my view, and from my experience as a man who has not been particularly masculine, masculinity and femininity are labels to describe traits that are not exclusive but trend toward men or women. And they are not fixed. When put that way, does it make sense?
Ok, I understand. So in your worldview, a woman cannot hold masculine traits, nor a man feminine traits? Because masculinity and femininity are constructs. I get that. But then I feel like we need a term to talk about the kind of roles you expect in a partner. Because that generally varies.
January 23, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Ok, I understand. So in your worldview, a woman cannot hold masculine traits, nor a man feminine traits? Because masculinity and femininity are constructs. I get that. But then I feel like we need a term to talk about the kind of roles you expect in a partner. Because that generally varies.
Thank you for the conversation, btw. It’s always good to hear views that differ, even if they are close, they can shed a new light on concepts.
January 23, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Thank you for the conversation, btw. It’s always good to hear views that differ, even if they are close, they can shed a new light on concepts.
Suggesting that masculinity is always bad? All forms of masculinity are bad?
Again, I feel like it’s a balance. And masculinity does not equal misogyny or patriarchy.
Look at other cultures that were either more equal or more matriarchal for examples, they still had masculinity.
Again, I feel like it’s a balance. And masculinity does not equal misogyny or patriarchy.
Look at other cultures that were either more equal or more matriarchal for examples, they still had masculinity.
January 23, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Suggesting that masculinity is always bad? All forms of masculinity are bad?
Again, I feel like it’s a balance. And masculinity does not equal misogyny or patriarchy.
Look at other cultures that were either more equal or more matriarchal for examples, they still had masculinity.
Again, I feel like it’s a balance. And masculinity does not equal misogyny or patriarchy.
Look at other cultures that were either more equal or more matriarchal for examples, they still had masculinity.
Not craving a past at all, more a future where we can have a discussion. The ideal man has to be against misogyny. If the ideal man stands for misogyny, then that means men are not good. And there are plenty of good men around. Just as there are plenty of good women and plenty of evil men.
January 23, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Not craving a past at all, more a future where we can have a discussion. The ideal man has to be against misogyny. If the ideal man stands for misogyny, then that means men are not good. And there are plenty of good men around. Just as there are plenty of good women and plenty of evil men.
2/2…
If masculinity is simply misogynistic, where is the balance with femininity? Where is the yin/yang?
This isn’t about gender roles (though that is a very important secondary discussion) but about masculinity/femininity.
If masculinity is simply misogynistic, where is the balance with femininity? Where is the yin/yang?
This isn’t about gender roles (though that is a very important secondary discussion) but about masculinity/femininity.
January 23, 2025 at 4:04 PM
2/2…
If masculinity is simply misogynistic, where is the balance with femininity? Where is the yin/yang?
This isn’t about gender roles (though that is a very important secondary discussion) but about masculinity/femininity.
If masculinity is simply misogynistic, where is the balance with femininity? Where is the yin/yang?
This isn’t about gender roles (though that is a very important secondary discussion) but about masculinity/femininity.
The prevailing concept of what it means to be a man has been co-opted recently by alt-right figures. That Zuck and Musk embody those traits is more a representation of how we’re thinking about man than what it actually means to be a man.
If we believe that masculinity is misogynistic… 1/2
If we believe that masculinity is misogynistic… 1/2
January 23, 2025 at 3:41 PM
The prevailing concept of what it means to be a man has been co-opted recently by alt-right figures. That Zuck and Musk embody those traits is more a representation of how we’re thinking about man than what it actually means to be a man.
If we believe that masculinity is misogynistic… 1/2
If we believe that masculinity is misogynistic… 1/2
The problem with online discourse is the lack of subtlety when it comes to language 🙂 I’m being genuinely interested. Though I do understand that seeing your post in isolation before reading some of your other thoughts was lazy. I think I agree with your general premise, though still curious🙂
January 23, 2025 at 10:54 AM
The problem with online discourse is the lack of subtlety when it comes to language 🙂 I’m being genuinely interested. Though I do understand that seeing your post in isolation before reading some of your other thoughts was lazy. I think I agree with your general premise, though still curious🙂
I agree with the gist of what you’re saying, but I think it’s important to point out that they represent a trend toward mislabeling what it means to be a man that was not part of culture for a long time. As much as we can decry historical misogyny, it was not comparable to this.
January 23, 2025 at 10:52 AM
I agree with the gist of what you’re saying, but I think it’s important to point out that they represent a trend toward mislabeling what it means to be a man that was not part of culture for a long time. As much as we can decry historical misogyny, it was not comparable to this.
So these men are displaying masculine energy? What kind of energy does an attractive, capable, and emotionally available man display, then?
January 23, 2025 at 10:42 AM
So these men are displaying masculine energy? What kind of energy does an attractive, capable, and emotionally available man display, then?
And in a car world that has been dominated by the male eye, it does not fit in.
Is that a bad thing?
If you're targeting feminine modern luxury with your cars, would you rather have a brand that talks to them.
This is a Jaguar.
Not a "Jaaag".
Is that a bad thing?
If you're targeting feminine modern luxury with your cars, would you rather have a brand that talks to them.
This is a Jaguar.
Not a "Jaaag".
December 3, 2024 at 8:30 AM
And in a car world that has been dominated by the male eye, it does not fit in.
Is that a bad thing?
If you're targeting feminine modern luxury with your cars, would you rather have a brand that talks to them.
This is a Jaguar.
Not a "Jaaag".
Is that a bad thing?
If you're targeting feminine modern luxury with your cars, would you rather have a brand that talks to them.
This is a Jaguar.
Not a "Jaaag".
Well, I'm not the target audience, either. But I like it. And I like it for 3 main reasons.
1) They've done audience research, they've identified a new audience that they feel has potential and that hasn't really been marketed to with cars.
2) They've built hype really well.
3) It's interesting.
1) They've done audience research, they've identified a new audience that they feel has potential and that hasn't really been marketed to with cars.
2) They've built hype really well.
3) It's interesting.
December 3, 2024 at 7:54 AM
Well, I'm not the target audience, either. But I like it. And I like it for 3 main reasons.
1) They've done audience research, they've identified a new audience that they feel has potential and that hasn't really been marketed to with cars.
2) They've built hype really well.
3) It's interesting.
1) They've done audience research, they've identified a new audience that they feel has potential and that hasn't really been marketed to with cars.
2) They've built hype really well.
3) It's interesting.
Well obviously not to you 🤣
December 3, 2024 at 6:25 AM
Well obviously not to you 🤣
Bingo.
They made wonderful cars in the 60s-90s. Since then... a whole load of crap.
I also like these.
They made wonderful cars in the 60s-90s. Since then... a whole load of crap.
I also like these.
December 2, 2024 at 9:24 PM
Bingo.
They made wonderful cars in the 60s-90s. Since then... a whole load of crap.
I also like these.
They made wonderful cars in the 60s-90s. Since then... a whole load of crap.
I also like these.
And how does this serve you? How do you discover how to understand what happened and the emotions behind why a large population chose the way they did? Because they didn't vote for "a rapist", they voted for something they could believe in, whatever that was, and ignored the red flags...why?
December 2, 2024 at 3:45 PM
And how does this serve you? How do you discover how to understand what happened and the emotions behind why a large population chose the way they did? Because they didn't vote for "a rapist", they voted for something they could believe in, whatever that was, and ignored the red flags...why?