Me: Time to open a new bottle of Sainsbury's American Style Mustard. Should be straightforward and easy to do as I've opened bottles like this before!

Sainsbury's: ooo just fuck you so much you piece of absolute shit 🖕🤬 how DARE you buy our shit and think it will even WORK?!? Go piss up a flagpole!

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♂️Footloose by Kenny Loggins🤸‍♂️

... suggested by completely incomparible and downright gorgeous @desrocher.bsky.social

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#footloose #kennyloggins #everybodyfootloose #kevinbacon #dancing
#dadbod #pants #ass #cock #properdaddancing
#shutupanddance

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

⚡️💋Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Show💋⚡️

... suggested by stunningly sultry and 100% bloody lovely @thesouthernvixen.bsky.social

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#timewarp #rockyhorror #richardobrien #jumptotheleft #steptotheright
#dadbod #pants #properdaddancing
#shutupanddance

Hey! You!

I need more song suggestions! Please DM me with your choices- doesn't matter if you've chosen before either!

Thanks!

-Jumpy 😁♥️🙏

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♀️Jump by Van Halen🤸‍♀️

... suggested by completely delicious and goddess like @vinni.being.baddie.fyi

(Why didn't i think of this before?🤣)

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#mightaswelljump #vanhalen #davidleeroth #80srock
#dadbod #pants #ass #cock #properdaddancing
#shutupanddance

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♀️California Dreamin' by Tje Mamas & The Papas🤸‍♀️

... suggested by entirely lovely and the clearly remarkable @lisa-anne46.bsky.social

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#shutupanddance #dadbod #pants #alltheleavesarebrown #properdaddancing #californiadreamin #mamaspapas

(Oh god please not more guita-)

*confidently bursts through plasterboard wall*

YES IT'S MORE GUITAR FROM JUMPY!

Just did this now, its a riff I've had for a few weeks now and I really want to put it in a full song... just an idea for now though. Hope you like!

*turns to fix plasterboard wall*

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♀️This Ole House by Shakin' Stevens🤸‍♀️

... suggested by the both stunningly sexy and both downright lovely @dilfandmilf.bsky.social

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#shutupanddance #dadbod #pants #welshelvis #properdaddancing #thisolehouse #shakinstevens

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

Hey everyone!

Just to remind you to please send me your suggestions via DM for a song you'd like me to dance to!

(I can make your naked / semi-naked middle-aged man dancing-enthusiastically-to- your-favourite-song-dreams come 100% true!)

😁🙏❤️

UPDATE: Clamato

I DID have a little taste before I disposed of this chemical-red, mollusc-ridden, hint-of-tomato infused nightmare of a cocktail down the sink.

It was not bad, like a salty tomato drink but the fact that I was also DRINKING LIQUIDISED CLAMS tipped me over the edge.

Never again.

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♀️U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer🤸‍♀️

... suggested by the unapologetically legendary and sexually hilarious @polypolyoxenfree.me

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#shutupanddance #dadbod #pants #ucanttouchthis #mchammer #strip #properdaddancing #stop #hammertime

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♀️Dancing Queen by ABBA🤸‍♀️

... suggested by the often rudely delightful and 100% thightastic @desrocher.bsky.social

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#shutupanddance #dadbod #pants #dancingqueen #ABBA #bum #nude #properdaddancing #havingthetimeofyourlife

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♀️Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer🤸‍♀️

... suggested by the totally adorable and simply divine @vinni.being.baddie.fyi

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#shutupanddance #dadbod #pants #addictedtolove #robertpalmer #bum #nude #properdaddancing #gonnahavetofaceit

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♀️Laid by James🤸‍♀️

... suggested by the always horny and utterly bloody NICE @pinkyatacme.bsky.social

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#shutupanddance #dadbod #pants #laid #james #properdaddancing #kitchenknives&skewerrrrs

⭐️ DANCE JUMPY DANCE ⭐️

...and today its...

🤸‍♀️Whip It by Devo🤸‍♀️

... suggested by the impeccable and downright lovely @lisa-anne46.bsky.social

😁❤️🤸‍♀️

#shutupanddance #dadbod #pants #whipit #devo

Right. I'm in the mood for doing some CUSTOM dancing videos in the near future... You just gotta tell me what song you want and i'll bop along to them!

Comment your suggestions in and i'll attempt to make a vid of them.

(I can't guarantee EVERY request will be filmed but hey, worth asking!)

🤸‍♀️😁🙏❤️

Happy Lazy Sunday Everyone! 😁❤️

#sunday #lazysunday #thesmallfaces #60s #wouldntitbenice #togetonwithmyneighbours #buttheymakeitveryclear #theyvegotnoroomforravers #pants #bum #dadbod #shutupanddance

Happy Saturday Night's alright (for dancing) Everyone! 😁❤️

#saturday #elton #reallygoingforit #weekend #pants #bum #dadbod #shutupanddance