@mean-people-suck.bsky.social
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"Welcome, soft idiot. You've been issued a Human Body™, the most fragile, overpromised, poorly updated model in the known universe. It arrives preloaded with ten to fourteen irrational fears, a vague longing for something you can't name, and knees made of soup."
Terms and Conditions for Occupying Your Flesh Prison
Welcome, soft idiot. You’ve been issued a Human Body™, the most fragile, overpromised, poorly updated model in the known universe. It arrives prelo...
buff.ly
July 15, 2025 at 6:25 PM
"Welcome, soft idiot. You've been issued a Human Body™, the most fragile, overpromised, poorly updated model in the known universe. It arrives preloaded with ten to fourteen irrational fears, a vague longing for something you can't name, and knees made of soup."
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How People In Canada feel about becoming the 51st state
May 15, 2025 at 10:25 PM
How People In Canada feel about becoming the 51st state
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"I’ve always dreamed that I could be [USED TO JUSTIFY / USED AS COVER FOR / BLAMED FOR] [TRANSPHOBIA / IMPRISONING PEOPLE BASED ON THEIR BELIEFS OR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN / ANY HUMAN ERROR OR SOCIAL PROBLEM IN THE ENTIRE WORLD]."
Templates for Thanking President Trump
Template 1 Dear President Trump and [RELEVANT MINIONS] I’m just writing from [UKRAINE / GAZA / THE HEARD AND MCDONALD ISLANDS] to say, once and for...
buff.ly
May 2, 2025 at 6:27 PM
"I’ve always dreamed that I could be [USED TO JUSTIFY / USED AS COVER FOR / BLAMED FOR] [TRANSPHOBIA / IMPRISONING PEOPLE BASED ON THEIR BELIEFS OR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN / ANY HUMAN ERROR OR SOCIAL PROBLEM IN THE ENTIRE WORLD]."
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US campaign entices Canada tourists: “Come visit America and also maybe El Salvador!”
US campaign entices Canada tourists: “Come visit America and also maybe El Salvador!”
OTTAWA - Following months of declining Canadian travel to the USA, Americans have launched a tourism campaign inviting Canadians to visit locations like New York, Austin, and possibly even take an all...
www.thebeaverton.com
April 14, 2025 at 7:07 PM
US campaign entices Canada tourists: “Come visit America and also maybe El Salvador!”
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"I am currently out of the office and changing my entire past and future by Monday. Everyone remembers when I tried this three weeks ago. I will not be piloting a rented boat this time, and expect much less legal fallout."
Copy and Paste Any of These Out-of-Office Replies for Your Personal Use
I am out of the office today and Friday to solve every existential quandary I’ve been putting off arguably since 2023 when, as far as I can tell, I...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 9, 2025 at 2:00 AM
"I am currently out of the office and changing my entire past and future by Monday. Everyone remembers when I tried this three weeks ago. I will not be piloting a rented boat this time, and expect much less legal fallout."
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"Hell is here, in Boston, in the way a woman’s voice goes unnaturally high as she strangles a shriek when surrounded by six masked people in plainclothes who claim to be police. Hell inhabits the place in your heart where you feel her fear."
Meditations on Hell
“I’m coming to Boston, I’m bringing hell with me.” —Tom Homan, “border czar” and former acting director of ICE - - - Hell is not a lake of fire, no...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 4, 2025 at 6:29 PM
"Hell is here, in Boston, in the way a woman’s voice goes unnaturally high as she strangles a shriek when surrounded by six masked people in plainclothes who claim to be police. Hell inhabits the place in your heart where you feel her fear."
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30 years ago today, we played SNL on March 25, 1995. The rest is history…
March 25, 2025 at 11:03 AM
30 years ago today, we played SNL on March 25, 1995. The rest is history…
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Want it all
November 16, 2024 at 5:16 PM
Want it all