I resisted the temptation to seek an easy target like Gary Glitter or Donny Osmond. Worst of the year is "Eye Level" by the Simon Park Orchestra. This was the theme tune from the show Van Der Valk, and one of those really inexplicable no.1s. Why was it so popular?! (3/3) youtu.be/zvesdlGe-EI?...

Best no.1 of the year is Slade's "Merry Xmas Everybody" - it's part of the pantheon of Christmas songs with good reason. It narrowly beats "Blockbuster" by The Sweet (2/3) youtu.be/WM7M7zSMJcw?...

I recall there being a brief spell around this period where Jessie J was hyped as the future of British pop. Christ knows why, as this, much like everything else I've heard from her is ear bleedingly bad. (4/4) youtu.be/0HDdjwpPM3Y?...

Competition for worst single of the year was stronger, with 5 Seconds of Summer's "She Looks So Perfect" (horrible grating Aussie emo pop) narrowly losing out to Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj's "Boom Boom", a proper nails down the blackboard effort. The chorus is beyond annoying (3/4)

The only no.1 of the year that scored 8/10 or above was Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars' kids disco favourite "Uptown Funk". It's alright I guess. (2/4) youtu.be/OPf0YbXqDm0?...

Iain McGilp on how "the black disease" ravaged Glasgow 25 years ago and sent the city into a panic.

www.glasgowbell.co.uk/how-the-blac...

Worst No.1 of the year is utterly putrid, Charlie Pugh and Meghan Trainor's "Marvin Gaye", in which the late soul legend is turned into a sanitised verb for fucking. Poor Marvin would be rolling in his grave if he heard his name put to this utterly insipid shite. (3/3) youtu.be/igNVdlXhKcI?...

Best of the year, scoring 8/10 is Jason Derulo's "Want To Want Me". Any artist who sings their own name at the start of pretty much every song is more than worthy of our respect. He also overcame adversity this year, surviving a terrifying fall down a flight of stairs! (2/3) youtu.be/rClUOdS5Zyw?...

"With Every Heartbeat" by Robyn with Kleerup. One of the bleakest no.1 singles ever, and also one of the best (5/5) youtu.be/-ojHWQrm4UM?...

Now for the good stuff: Beyonce and Shakira's "Beautiful Liar" and Timberland and Keri Hilson's "The Way I Are" are both 9/10s, while Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls" is a strong 8/10 (dubious lyrics aside). Best no.1 of 2007 is... (4/5)

Katie Melua and Eva Cassidy's saccharine take on "What A Wonderful World", as queasy a bid for Xmas no.1 as you will ever hear, involving recycling a recording of a dead person and passing it off as a duet. There's something badly wrong here. (3/5) youtu.be/b8GOh0HmzFk?...

The bad start consists of Mika's "Grace Kelly" which completely sets my teeth on edge, followed by Kaiser Chiefs' "Ruby", the nadir of their "repeatedly shouting the song title = chorus" pish. The year ends with yet another whiny X-Factor winner from Leon Jackson. Worst of all is... (2/5)

Matched only by Adamski's "Killer". It's the 1st no.1 in a few years to catch you off guard; it sounds like nothing you've heard in the charts before, the robotically inhuman backing track contrasting with Seal's soaring vocal turn (6/6). youtu.be/LtYujyhvIyQ?...

Beats International's "Dub Be Good To Me". The silly rap, the Clash sample, Lindy Layton's vocal - it's an iconic no.1 single, not just best of the year, but best of the decade. (5/6) youtu.be/LCzgsZi_zfg?...

On the plus side, there's also the greatest football song of all time, "World In Motion" by englandneworder - it would have scored higher if the whole England part was omitted however. As noted above there was an unprecedented tie for best no.1 of the year, our first joint winner being... (4/6)

Nothing is as bad as Cliff Richard's "Saviours Day", as the bold yin further attempts to monetise his faith and part your granny from her pension money, after the success of "Mistletoe & Wine". It's a honker of a single too even if you discount it's cynical motivation. (3/6) youtu.be/FTI8CWSiZ40?...

There's quite a few bad no.1s in 1990. New Kids On The Block make a bid for worst boy band no.1 of the '90s with the execrable "Hangin' Tough", while it's novelty single time in the summer with Bombalurina and Timmy Mallet, as as well as Partners In Kryme's TMNT theme song (2/6)