@mbird787.bsky.social
Reposted
New EPA Study Finds 98% Of U.S. Mop Water Fucking Nasty As Hell https://theonion.com/new-epa-study-finds-98-of-u-s-mop-water-fucking-nasty-1819771574/
December 3, 2025 at 11:00 PM
New EPA Study Finds 98% Of U.S. Mop Water Fucking Nasty As Hell https://theonion.com/new-epa-study-finds-98-of-u-s-mop-water-fucking-nasty-1819771574/
12 days until Pie for Breakfast Day. Do you have your pie plans made?
November 17, 2025 at 1:52 AM
12 days until Pie for Breakfast Day. Do you have your pie plans made?
If I had a vertebra for every time I've been told to roll up "one vertebrae at a time" I'd be really tall.
September 16, 2025 at 5:05 PM
If I had a vertebra for every time I've been told to roll up "one vertebrae at a time" I'd be really tall.
I have both garbanzo beans and macadamia nuts in my fridge in glass containers. So far, so good.
July 3, 2025 at 10:07 PM
I have both garbanzo beans and macadamia nuts in my fridge in glass containers. So far, so good.
If you keep your eyes open, you can see things every day that you've never seen before. Yesterday, for instance, I saw a woman taking a selfie with a mushroom, and also a car driving down the street with one of the back doors open (turned out it was transporting a slightly-too-large bookcase).
May 4, 2025 at 9:48 PM
If you keep your eyes open, you can see things every day that you've never seen before. Yesterday, for instance, I saw a woman taking a selfie with a mushroom, and also a car driving down the street with one of the back doors open (turned out it was transporting a slightly-too-large bookcase).
Remarkable what people think it's OK to do if they just put the hazard lights on. This morning's example involved backing up for an entire block.
April 25, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Remarkable what people think it's OK to do if they just put the hazard lights on. This morning's example involved backing up for an entire block.
Warren G. Harding is looking awfully good right now.
March 6, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Warren G. Harding is looking awfully good right now.
I could be a full-time bee lifeguard.
March 5, 2025 at 11:08 PM
I could be a full-time bee lifeguard.
The bowl of cough drops is nice but sometimes what I need is a fart drop.
March 4, 2025 at 3:35 PM
The bowl of cough drops is nice but sometimes what I need is a fart drop.
I really hate when I have to turn off my VPN to buy something.
February 27, 2025 at 6:44 PM
I really hate when I have to turn off my VPN to buy something.
Reposted
The quickening pace of corruption - the brazen use of the White House to enrich himself and his friends - is stunning.
Soon, before we know it, government will no longer serve us at all. It will just be a mechanism to enrich billionaires loyal to Trump.
Soon, before we know it, government will no longer serve us at all. It will just be a mechanism to enrich billionaires loyal to Trump.
With Congress Pliant, an Emboldened Trump Pushes His Business Interests
Norms recognized for decades in Washington by both parties no longer appear to apply to the Trump White House, former prosecutors and ethics lawyers say.
www.nytimes.com
February 19, 2025 at 11:39 PM
The quickening pace of corruption - the brazen use of the White House to enrich himself and his friends - is stunning.
Soon, before we know it, government will no longer serve us at all. It will just be a mechanism to enrich billionaires loyal to Trump.
Soon, before we know it, government will no longer serve us at all. It will just be a mechanism to enrich billionaires loyal to Trump.
Reposted
GOP so concerned about our soaring national debt that they’re determined to make it trillions of dollars worse.
Whatever it takes to get Trump’s billionaire buddies more tax breaks, even though their very unbalanced budget imperils the future of Social Security and Medicare.
Whatever it takes to get Trump’s billionaire buddies more tax breaks, even though their very unbalanced budget imperils the future of Social Security and Medicare.
Despite DOGE, Trump's agenda calls for adding trillions of dollars to U.S. debt
Budget experts say Trump’s tax and spending priorities would increase red ink, even as he boasts of balancing the budget. “I don’t think their rhetoric matches reality," one says.
www.nbcnews.com
February 20, 2025 at 6:22 PM
GOP so concerned about our soaring national debt that they’re determined to make it trillions of dollars worse.
Whatever it takes to get Trump’s billionaire buddies more tax breaks, even though their very unbalanced budget imperils the future of Social Security and Medicare.
Whatever it takes to get Trump’s billionaire buddies more tax breaks, even though their very unbalanced budget imperils the future of Social Security and Medicare.
Chocolates come and go, but glitter is forever.
February 17, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Chocolates come and go, but glitter is forever.
A good time for the gutter installers to show up is when you're in a side plank.
February 17, 2025 at 2:52 PM
A good time for the gutter installers to show up is when you're in a side plank.
I saw someone wearing a coonskin cap today. Wasn't close enough to determine whether it was real or fake or whether he was old enough to remember the 1950s.
February 14, 2025 at 5:37 PM
I saw someone wearing a coonskin cap today. Wasn't close enough to determine whether it was real or fake or whether he was old enough to remember the 1950s.
The voice of the leafblower is heard in our land.
January 31, 2025 at 8:50 PM
The voice of the leafblower is heard in our land.
If you just need to mail something, you might want to go to a post office that doesn't do passports.
January 24, 2025 at 10:21 PM
If you just need to mail something, you might want to go to a post office that doesn't do passports.
I know I've said it can't be done, but this morning I did throw a brick without hitting a Tesla.
January 24, 2025 at 7:28 PM
I know I've said it can't be done, but this morning I did throw a brick without hitting a Tesla.
Realizing that I have actually rather more than enough pencils and staples to last me the rest of my life. Also paper clips and safety pins.
January 23, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Realizing that I have actually rather more than enough pencils and staples to last me the rest of my life. Also paper clips and safety pins.
My father had a file folder labeled "Indignant Correspondence."
January 22, 2025 at 11:13 PM
My father had a file folder labeled "Indignant Correspondence."
Beautiful day. Had a nice hike except for the couple of minutes between reaching in my pants pocket and not finding my car key and remembering that I put it in the pocket of my backpack.
January 17, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Beautiful day. Had a nice hike except for the couple of minutes between reaching in my pants pocket and not finding my car key and remembering that I put it in the pocket of my backpack.
The tree went out to the curb on January 7. There will probably still be needles in the house in July.
January 15, 2025 at 10:58 PM
The tree went out to the curb on January 7. There will probably still be needles in the house in July.
Yesterday it was not until I was halfway back from running an errand that a pecan decided to roll the length of the roof rack and fall off the car.
December 17, 2024 at 3:58 PM
Yesterday it was not until I was halfway back from running an errand that a pecan decided to roll the length of the roof rack and fall off the car.
Even if the test batch of cookies are overbaked and you don't really want anyone to see them, there is a limit to how many you should eat at one time.
December 6, 2024 at 6:19 PM
Even if the test batch of cookies are overbaked and you don't really want anyone to see them, there is a limit to how many you should eat at one time.
Happy Pie for Breakfast Day!
November 29, 2024 at 2:10 PM
Happy Pie for Breakfast Day!