Matt (Taylor’s Version)
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mattyew.bsky.social
Matt (Taylor’s Version)
@mattyew.bsky.social
180 followers 190 following 2.5K posts
Retired mommyblogger
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mattyew.bsky.social
My cat set a new record for most tongue left hanging out
Beautiful cat with her tongue hanging out of her closed mouth, she’s so silly She was like this for a full minute. Total goofball Same beautiful cat with her tongue hanging out. It’s sticking out like she’s doing it on purpose. Picture blurry because I was trying not to laugh and disturb her but like I was sobbing laughing
November 15, 2025 at 3:05 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
lol I’ll never stop being a CJGJ stan www.reddit.com/r/nfl/commen...
[Highlight] After being released by the Texans and the Ravens this season, CJ Gardner-Johnson has three sacks and a forced fumble in two games with the Bears
November 14, 2025 at 12:37 AM
mattyew.bsky.social
Wow he’s really on one about this
I feel like the alt text is the proper avenue for revealing that Donald Trump did not actually write this
November 13, 2025 at 4:25 AM
mattyew.bsky.social
From that one movie
They never existed
November 12, 2025 at 3:19 AM
mattyew.bsky.social
What the fuck does any of this mean. “Swancore”?????????
Spotify playlist: “Here's some math rock, fresh, 2020s, swancore, alternative, driving - inspired by your listening on Tuesdays in the evening”
November 11, 2025 at 11:58 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
When they turn the Eagles into Monsters Inc they really gotta lean into it and hide AJ Brown behind an M the whole time
Mike Wazowski running gag of being present but always hidden
November 11, 2025 at 3:28 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Sirianni when Howie controls the final 53 and hires a new coordinator for him:
Homer prostrating himself before Marge
November 11, 2025 at 5:11 AM
mattyew.bsky.social
dril tweet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"
November 9, 2025 at 11:22 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Okay zen take a nap but zen CHANGE ZEE PASSWORD
But I am le tired
November 4, 2025 at 1:07 AM
mattyew.bsky.social
sort of like this except it ends with “surprise I’m a billionaire I’m hiring you to be my chauffeur please don’t beat me up”
@EJGomez tweet: undercover boss: im gonna learn what it means to work the day to day jobs and stay undercover for the next few weeks [first hour worker: hey man someone shit all over the bathroom u got it undercover boss: wow u figured it out its me, The Undercover Boss
November 3, 2025 at 10:04 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Weird how every “I’m genuinely curious, please send me links to answer my question” person is also a “turned off replies” person, wonder why that keeps happening
User saying something stupid, being corrected, then responding with “Have you been able to find good reporting about his nazism? Please direct me thanks” but turning replies off so no one can direct them
October 29, 2025 at 11:42 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Dianna Russini post: “A.J. Brown is agitated. The Eagles know it. The league knows it. But for now, Philadelphia wants him on its roster. But if Brown continues to seem miserable leading up to the trade deadline, does something have to change?” Dianna Russini post: “Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie is proud of his culture. He, Howie Roseman and Nick Sirianni have crafted a talented roster filled with different personalities — by design. Philly likes it this way.” “I'm playing both sides so that I always come out on top.”
October 26, 2025 at 9:34 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Preceptor Seluvis from Elden Ring
October 23, 2025 at 10:23 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
I’m not a stats guy but what does the “1 in 30 million” mean when 26 other people did it too
“Delta Air Lines Flight 191 was a regularly scheduled Delta Air Lines domestic flight from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, to Los Angeles, California, with an intermediate stop at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport (DFW). On August 2, 1985, the Lockheed L-1011 TriStar operating Flight 191 encountered a microburst while on approach to land at DFW. The aircraft impacted ground just over one mile (1.6 km) short of the runway, struck a car near the airport, c lided with two water tanks and disintegrated. Out of the 163 occupants on board, 136 people died and 25 others were injured in the accident, while the driver of the car struck by the aircraft also died.”
October 21, 2025 at 8:57 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Checked the grilling instructions on these sausages and it’s just, like, a definition of what grilling is
GRILL / STOVETOP: Remove wrapper. Warm on heated grill or sauté pan. MICROWAVE: Steams in-package in 30 sec. Microwave-safe/BPA-free packaging.
October 20, 2025 at 10:24 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Not true, it’s been a thing since at least the Turkish Pikachu earlier this year, but I like where your head’s at
somewhere in portland, there's one person, or a small handful of people, who came up with the inflatable costume idea, and I feel like they deserve our immense respect for defining the obvious developing aesthetic of the contemporary battle against fascism post from @shayan86.bsky.social “These videos of someone dressed as Pikachu turning up at the protests in Antalya are very much real” along with two pictures of Pikachu as described
October 19, 2025 at 3:30 AM
mattyew.bsky.social
we built a whole government out of this kid and today we’re going to push him in a locker
“You’re disrespecting a future US army soldier”
October 18, 2025 at 11:21 AM
mattyew.bsky.social
I was married, but I’m not married anymore. Women don't like the vehicle.
A real car that I saw, abandoned in a Walmart parking lot, covered in various Infowars stickers including labels from official Infowars soups and foods. One of the windows is busted out and covered with an “88 Earnhardt” blanket because of course it is
October 16, 2025 at 6:04 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
he’s annoying as hell and not good enough to back up his talk
Juju posting mean tweet
October 15, 2025 at 9:03 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Congrats on making it as far as you have despite not being able to read!
“Plus: Was Trump snubbed?”
October 12, 2025 at 8:21 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Kellen Moore and Kevin Patullo in offensive meetings last year
Simpsons parody. Kent Brockman asks a simple question Homer’s response is a short scared scream Kent says “my director’s telling me not to talk to you anymore” Homer cheers
October 10, 2025 at 4:48 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
I didn’t watch the game last night I was listening to music instead
A Spotify playlist called “crossover straight edge thursday evening” which is a collection of words that I don’t understand even though they are describing my music. It is described as “Here's some crossover, straight edge, new york hardcore, 2-step garage, canadian punk, workout - inspired by your listening on Thursdays in the evening”
October 10, 2025 at 3:24 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Oh you think I’m stupid, huh? You think I don’t know what I’m talking about? Well consider this, my dad just died
Guy defending his bad take with “please be patient my dad died”
September 30, 2025 at 2:22 PM
mattyew.bsky.social
Jim Downey? “There Will Be Blood” actor Jim Downey?
Jim Downey, the New York writer
September 30, 2025 at 12:24 AM
mattyew.bsky.social
I’ve got this guy beat on L4D2 though, get wrecked loser
A sad, sobering summary of how many hours I’ve played Left 4 Dead 2
September 25, 2025 at 1:36 PM