Matt Storrs
@mattstorrs.bsky.social
Humor Person / Featured in Newsweek, NPR, PBS / Books Read This Year: 26
One good thing about the impending government shutdown is I'll have way more time to restore the sword I found on the street.
September 30, 2025 at 11:44 PM
One good thing about the impending government shutdown is I'll have way more time to restore the sword I found on the street.
The Dremel tool really helped me remove rust from the sword I found on the street
August 31, 2025 at 9:24 PM
The Dremel tool really helped me remove rust from the sword I found on the street
Even Snakes need a good lawyer
Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater
Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater
August 29, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Even Snakes need a good lawyer
Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater
Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater
Burning the flag is the best way to dispose of it
August 25, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Burning the flag is the best way to dispose of it
Let's look into the Fix the City claim that Zohran Mamdani is a dangerous choice for New York City's mayor
June 18, 2025 at 12:03 PM
Let's look into the Fix the City claim that Zohran Mamdani is a dangerous choice for New York City's mayor
Did you know you have Mario Kart rights?!
June 15, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Did you know you have Mario Kart rights?!
My therapist canceled on me to get a Switch 2
June 7, 2025 at 9:26 PM
My therapist canceled on me to get a Switch 2
We’re ready to defend you in Mario Kart World!
June 6, 2025 at 8:44 PM
We’re ready to defend you in Mario Kart World!
NYC has the most attractive people in the world!
June 5, 2025 at 6:50 PM
NYC has the most attractive people in the world!
Ebola can't stop friendship
June 4, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Ebola can't stop friendship
It is always important to ASK for details about your gigs
June 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
It is always important to ASK for details about your gigs
Yes, I watch Jeopardy at the Times Square Margaritaville on a Wednesday
May 28, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Yes, I watch Jeopardy at the Times Square Margaritaville on a Wednesday
My puffin doesn’t mean I support Puff Daddy
May 28, 2025 at 9:04 PM
My puffin doesn’t mean I support Puff Daddy
Being a server can be a lot easier if you call the chef on their BS
May 27, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Being a server can be a lot easier if you call the chef on their BS
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33: No matter your chances, our firm is ready to support your expedition!
May 25, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33: No matter your chances, our firm is ready to support your expedition!
An Elder Scroll says you have rights and so do I!
May 22, 2025 at 7:48 PM
An Elder Scroll says you have rights and so do I!
Oh no the new pope is the Smoke Monster from LOST!
May 8, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Oh no the new pope is the Smoke Monster from LOST!
On a new G train, I can’t get over the new subway smell. It needs more mystery liquid, which can now move across the whole train.
April 3, 2025 at 12:03 AM
On a new G train, I can’t get over the new subway smell. It needs more mystery liquid, which can now move across the whole train.
Do something kind today
March 30, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Do something kind today
Mr. Holland would have loved and defended Lydia Tár
March 13, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Mr. Holland would have loved and defended Lydia Tár
The first Lower East Stories at P&T Knitwear was such a delight. Great stories, fantastic crowd (and massive! We’ll bring out more chairs next time), and such kind people! Can't wait to be back on April 4!
March 9, 2025 at 12:53 AM
The first Lower East Stories at P&T Knitwear was such a delight. Great stories, fantastic crowd (and massive! We’ll bring out more chairs next time), and such kind people! Can't wait to be back on April 4!
The best part of seeing Paddington in Peru at an AMC is the Nicole Kidman cameo before the movie.
February 8, 2025 at 9:04 PM
The best part of seeing Paddington in Peru at an AMC is the Nicole Kidman cameo before the movie.
This DEI email to government employees is shocking
January 23, 2025 at 12:14 AM
This DEI email to government employees is shocking
Proud of the new administration
January 22, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Proud of the new administration
People say it’s reckless to go to a late night open mic when you have work in the morning. But I met a possum on my way over tonight
January 17, 2025 at 4:32 AM
People say it’s reckless to go to a late night open mic when you have work in the morning. But I met a possum on my way over tonight