A wise woman once told me “martinis are like breasts: two are perfect; three are too many”

Absolutely iconic. No notes. I hope she sent fake anthrax to anyone who didn’t show.

Oh those were the only feelings I was thinking about and yeah muddled is an understatement 🫠

Spreading your legs from the coffin is such major diva behavior I have to hand it to her.

I’m obsessed with this but also mortified. Sadly I can confirm she fully believes she looks like that irl I fear

Omfg this heinously facetuned pic of Barb Corcs is gonna become one of my new sleep paralysis demons I fear…..you’re going to pay for this BGB….

Good evening sharks, do you ever carry around your AR-15 and think to yourself, ‘if only my gun could also cut off the zip ties around my partner’s wrists so I don’t have to keep this damn Swiss Army knife in my pocket where my travel dildo could be?” Well do we have the solution for you….

You should really upgrade to the version with a gun attached it’s sooooooo much more efficient 15/10

NEED your arms routine bc those biceps are 🥵

As opposed to when they’re not??? Are they ever not??

Meanwhile countries that are significantly poorer than us are bending over backwards for Ukrainians…we should all be ashamed

Like HOW is this possible I’m h*****