@mattlevy51.bsky.social
If Delta really valued our feedback, they’d pay us for it
November 15, 2025 at 12:41 AM
If Delta really valued our feedback, they’d pay us for it
Were you alive in 2025?
You might be entitled to compensation
You might be entitled to compensation
October 16, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Were you alive in 2025?
You might be entitled to compensation
You might be entitled to compensation
A Monday the 13th where we all have to go to work on a national holiday is far more cursed than any Friday the 13th
October 13, 2025 at 9:02 PM
A Monday the 13th where we all have to go to work on a national holiday is far more cursed than any Friday the 13th
The people: they don't make comedies like they used to
The industry: Fine! We'll reboot The Office, Naked Gun, Spinal Tap and Happy Gilmore all within three months
The industry: Fine! We'll reboot The Office, Naked Gun, Spinal Tap and Happy Gilmore all within three months
October 3, 2025 at 11:48 PM
The people: they don't make comedies like they used to
The industry: Fine! We'll reboot The Office, Naked Gun, Spinal Tap and Happy Gilmore all within three months
The industry: Fine! We'll reboot The Office, Naked Gun, Spinal Tap and Happy Gilmore all within three months
I was diagnosed with testicular cancer ten years ago today.
Somehow, my childhood babysitter heard and came to visit. Touched my heart that she cared.
As she was leaving, we had a special moment. She leaned in and said “if you want, I can give you a 15% discount on Herbalife if you sign up today”
Somehow, my childhood babysitter heard and came to visit. Touched my heart that she cared.
As she was leaving, we had a special moment. She leaned in and said “if you want, I can give you a 15% discount on Herbalife if you sign up today”
October 2, 2025 at 1:05 PM
I was diagnosed with testicular cancer ten years ago today.
Somehow, my childhood babysitter heard and came to visit. Touched my heart that she cared.
As she was leaving, we had a special moment. She leaned in and said “if you want, I can give you a 15% discount on Herbalife if you sign up today”
Somehow, my childhood babysitter heard and came to visit. Touched my heart that she cared.
As she was leaving, we had a special moment. She leaned in and said “if you want, I can give you a 15% discount on Herbalife if you sign up today”
In case you were wondering where your tax dollars were going
September 26, 2025 at 1:33 AM
In case you were wondering where your tax dollars were going
There's a young comedian who has the same name as my grandma who died in 2009.
So bizarre to see bubbe’s name on bar show fliers
So bizarre to see bubbe’s name on bar show fliers
September 23, 2025 at 2:07 AM
There's a young comedian who has the same name as my grandma who died in 2009.
So bizarre to see bubbe’s name on bar show fliers
So bizarre to see bubbe’s name on bar show fliers
Gotta love that this year’s VMAs, a show for young people, were broadcast on CBS, a network for old people
September 9, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Gotta love that this year’s VMAs, a show for young people, were broadcast on CBS, a network for old people
Truly offended that all the new SNL cast members are younger than me, a 37-year-old who still thinks he’s 24
September 3, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Truly offended that all the new SNL cast members are younger than me, a 37-year-old who still thinks he’s 24
"Travis and Taylor are engaged" may be the whitest sentence in history
August 27, 2025 at 9:22 AM
"Travis and Taylor are engaged" may be the whitest sentence in history
I was bar mitzvahed 24 years ago today. Truly crazy my parents decided to bar mitzvah me at 1 and I’m only 25 now
August 25, 2025 at 9:35 PM
I was bar mitzvahed 24 years ago today. Truly crazy my parents decided to bar mitzvah me at 1 and I’m only 25 now
I saw The Who on their farewell tour last night. They were great. Truth be told though, I spent most of the night going up to strangers and saying “I liked them better when they were called The Whom”
August 20, 2025 at 4:54 PM
I saw The Who on their farewell tour last night. They were great. Truth be told though, I spent most of the night going up to strangers and saying “I liked them better when they were called The Whom”
Forgive me father for I have used the group chat for self-promotion
August 11, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Forgive me father for I have used the group chat for self-promotion
It was a real missed opportunity on Riverdale’s part to not name the show “Tween Peaks”
August 6, 2025 at 2:33 AM
It was a real missed opportunity on Riverdale’s part to not name the show “Tween Peaks”
Don’t wanna brag too hard here but I just got a notification that nine people viewed my TikTok account
July 26, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Don’t wanna brag too hard here but I just got a notification that nine people viewed my TikTok account
Reposted
Bike was stolen out of my back yard in Astoria NY. Any share for reach is appreciated. It has purple flowers zip tied to the handlebars, a double kickstand and a sticker that says “Patrick Molloy’s 20th annual funeral cookout”
July 22, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Bike was stolen out of my back yard in Astoria NY. Any share for reach is appreciated. It has purple flowers zip tied to the handlebars, a double kickstand and a sticker that says “Patrick Molloy’s 20th annual funeral cookout”
Colbert’s next few years
Now-May 2026: Viking death ship of a talk show where he gets increasingly cynical, boosting ratings
June 2026-2028: Colbert rejoins Stewart on TDS
2028-30: Gets into Broadway. Wins a Tony
2031: Stars in a buddy comedy w/ Carell
2032: Wins election and becomes President
Now-May 2026: Viking death ship of a talk show where he gets increasingly cynical, boosting ratings
June 2026-2028: Colbert rejoins Stewart on TDS
2028-30: Gets into Broadway. Wins a Tony
2031: Stars in a buddy comedy w/ Carell
2032: Wins election and becomes President
July 18, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Colbert’s next few years
Now-May 2026: Viking death ship of a talk show where he gets increasingly cynical, boosting ratings
June 2026-2028: Colbert rejoins Stewart on TDS
2028-30: Gets into Broadway. Wins a Tony
2031: Stars in a buddy comedy w/ Carell
2032: Wins election and becomes President
Now-May 2026: Viking death ship of a talk show where he gets increasingly cynical, boosting ratings
June 2026-2028: Colbert rejoins Stewart on TDS
2028-30: Gets into Broadway. Wins a Tony
2031: Stars in a buddy comedy w/ Carell
2032: Wins election and becomes President
If my phone rings, I assume it’s either spam or my fam
July 15, 2025 at 6:54 PM
If my phone rings, I assume it’s either spam or my fam
Turned 37 yesterday. Have unbearable back pain today. Sometimes, God works in mysterious ways. Today, He’s pretty on the nose
July 13, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Turned 37 yesterday. Have unbearable back pain today. Sometimes, God works in mysterious ways. Today, He’s pretty on the nose
Reposted
“F. Murray Abraham is young and he’s on a funicular.” - My dad describing Grand Budapest Hotel
July 6, 2025 at 4:03 PM
“F. Murray Abraham is young and he’s on a funicular.” - My dad describing Grand Budapest Hotel
Real ID (noun): a form of identification you have to use a full PTO day to acquire
July 10, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Real ID (noun): a form of identification you have to use a full PTO day to acquire
My wife: I’m going to bed at 8 p.m.
Me: cool, I’m going to bed at 9 p.m.
My 2 yo daughter who has no sense of time: I think I’ll go to sleep at 40 p.m.
Me: cool, I’m going to bed at 9 p.m.
My 2 yo daughter who has no sense of time: I think I’ll go to sleep at 40 p.m.
July 8, 2025 at 1:16 PM
My wife: I’m going to bed at 8 p.m.
Me: cool, I’m going to bed at 9 p.m.
My 2 yo daughter who has no sense of time: I think I’ll go to sleep at 40 p.m.
Me: cool, I’m going to bed at 9 p.m.
My 2 yo daughter who has no sense of time: I think I’ll go to sleep at 40 p.m.
This is the darkest timeline:
• The House can't kill the Big Beautiful Bill
• The guy from Kill Bill dies
• The House can't kill the Big Beautiful Bill
• The guy from Kill Bill dies
July 3, 2025 at 7:09 PM
This is the darkest timeline:
• The House can't kill the Big Beautiful Bill
• The guy from Kill Bill dies
• The House can't kill the Big Beautiful Bill
• The guy from Kill Bill dies
Commenting “wow, this is the only good list, everyone else got it wrong but you” on every New York Times top ten movies of the 2000s post I see
June 28, 2025 at 9:54 AM
Commenting “wow, this is the only good list, everyone else got it wrong but you” on every New York Times top ten movies of the 2000s post I see
BREAKING:
Zohran to host the SNL season premiere with musical guest Mr. Cardamom
Zohran to host the SNL season premiere with musical guest Mr. Cardamom
June 27, 2025 at 2:50 AM
BREAKING:
Zohran to host the SNL season premiere with musical guest Mr. Cardamom
Zohran to host the SNL season premiere with musical guest Mr. Cardamom