mathyou
@matthewtatumpurcell.com
world's top-rated gamer: 1999, 2003, and 2017. where the venn diagram of sports and video games meets.
previously hired people to make your favorite games at Bungie, Crystal Dynamics, and Gearbox.
previously hired people to make your favorite games at Bungie, Crystal Dynamics, and Gearbox.
profit margin? no, no, no profit MARGARINE. you want a nice, crisp crust on this bad boy.
September 9, 2025 at 12:23 AM
profit margin? no, no, no profit MARGARINE. you want a nice, crisp crust on this bad boy.
I cheat in every multiplayer game I play
Crave
Heaps of
Excitement
And
Thrills
Crave
Heaps of
Excitement
And
Thrills
July 25, 2025 at 5:06 PM
I cheat in every multiplayer game I play
Crave
Heaps of
Excitement
And
Thrills
Crave
Heaps of
Excitement
And
Thrills
I've been playing on game pass so I assume that means we can play together. if you want a teammate to slum it through ranked together with, let me know!
July 9, 2025 at 7:40 PM
I've been playing on game pass so I assume that means we can play together. if you want a teammate to slum it through ranked together with, let me know!
this game has grabbed a hold of me and not let go. "one more game" is a complete understatement.
I feel you on the passing. all I try to do is create spacing and make sick passes and yet it feels like every teammate has had a frontal lobotomy. what platform are you on?
I feel you on the passing. all I try to do is create spacing and make sick passes and yet it feels like every teammate has had a frontal lobotomy. what platform are you on?
July 9, 2025 at 5:40 AM
this game has grabbed a hold of me and not let go. "one more game" is a complete understatement.
I feel you on the passing. all I try to do is create spacing and make sick passes and yet it feels like every teammate has had a frontal lobotomy. what platform are you on?
I feel you on the passing. all I try to do is create spacing and make sick passes and yet it feels like every teammate has had a frontal lobotomy. what platform are you on?
I was going to get an acai bowl today in an attempt to eat healthier in anticipation of Wings & Beers™ tonight
now I want to get my gyro instead
how could you
now I want to get my gyro instead
how could you
June 18, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I was going to get an acai bowl today in an attempt to eat healthier in anticipation of Wings & Beers™ tonight
now I want to get my gyro instead
how could you
now I want to get my gyro instead
how could you
left a 5-star review for my weekly gyro spot a few months ago
June 10, 2025 at 10:10 PM
left a 5-star review for my weekly gyro spot a few months ago
that first one is really doing it for me. good stuff.
June 3, 2025 at 3:18 AM
that first one is really doing it for me. good stuff.
no no no no you see these 15 boxes of unopened ork boyz are an *investment*
May 29, 2025 at 5:11 PM
no no no no you see these 15 boxes of unopened ork boyz are an *investment*
I uh... I have this on the wall in the guest bathroom.
I don't know if this makes it better or worse but it's what you stare at *while* you're taking a shit. and it hides the 1970s medicine cabinet that I'm not allowed to rip off the wall.
I don't know if this makes it better or worse but it's what you stare at *while* you're taking a shit. and it hides the 1970s medicine cabinet that I'm not allowed to rip off the wall.
March 2, 2025 at 11:19 PM
I uh... I have this on the wall in the guest bathroom.
I don't know if this makes it better or worse but it's what you stare at *while* you're taking a shit. and it hides the 1970s medicine cabinet that I'm not allowed to rip off the wall.
I don't know if this makes it better or worse but it's what you stare at *while* you're taking a shit. and it hides the 1970s medicine cabinet that I'm not allowed to rip off the wall.
when my partner and I first started dating I would end the day by sending her a voice memo where I just info dumped about chaos gods and the warp and the imperium of man. I cannot emphasize how much she doesn't care about warhammer but it worked and we're still together.
February 4, 2025 at 7:54 PM
when my partner and I first started dating I would end the day by sending her a voice memo where I just info dumped about chaos gods and the warp and the imperium of man. I cannot emphasize how much she doesn't care about warhammer but it worked and we're still together.
every time I watch the nice guys, I end up rewatching kiss kiss bang bang. 10 out of 10 double feature.
February 2, 2025 at 9:29 PM
every time I watch the nice guys, I end up rewatching kiss kiss bang bang. 10 out of 10 double feature.
ridiculed endlessly by the homies after getting crossed up by a 10,000 year-old encased in the war machine equivalent of a nursing home.
January 27, 2025 at 8:35 PM
ridiculed endlessly by the homies after getting crossed up by a 10,000 year-old encased in the war machine equivalent of a nursing home.
give him $400 million to reimagine and rerelease american graffiti the same way he did the original star wars trilogy. an american coming of age tale with classic hot rods and then BAM a shitty VFX alien named blarsto shows up to challenge them to a race and teach them a life lesson along the way.
January 26, 2025 at 12:47 AM
give him $400 million to reimagine and rerelease american graffiti the same way he did the original star wars trilogy. an american coming of age tale with classic hot rods and then BAM a shitty VFX alien named blarsto shows up to challenge them to a race and teach them a life lesson along the way.
ninja's director of marketing is the unholy love child of skymall and late night infomercials
January 23, 2025 at 5:42 PM
ninja's director of marketing is the unholy love child of skymall and late night infomercials
dull matte lookin-ass bones imho
January 17, 2025 at 11:20 PM
dull matte lookin-ass bones imho
finally got around to playing through the war within last night after some time away. hell, and I cannot stress this enough, yeah.
January 8, 2025 at 6:10 PM
finally got around to playing through the war within last night after some time away. hell, and I cannot stress this enough, yeah.
because I lack imagination, my hard drives are always named the default C:, N:, etc.
because I lack imagination, my PC is always named HAL 9000.
because I lack imagination, my PC is always named HAL 9000.
December 23, 2024 at 11:43 PM
because I lack imagination, my hard drives are always named the default C:, N:, etc.
because I lack imagination, my PC is always named HAL 9000.
because I lack imagination, my PC is always named HAL 9000.
born too early to explore space
born too late to explore the earth
born just in time to view rotating sandwich gifs on a worldwide network of connected devices
born too late to explore the earth
born just in time to view rotating sandwich gifs on a worldwide network of connected devices
December 23, 2024 at 5:49 PM
born too early to explore space
born too late to explore the earth
born just in time to view rotating sandwich gifs on a worldwide network of connected devices
born too late to explore the earth
born just in time to view rotating sandwich gifs on a worldwide network of connected devices
I love any sci fi that swings big. give me brain scrambling setups and concepts, I simply could not care any less if you stick the landing.
December 18, 2024 at 4:13 AM
I love any sci fi that swings big. give me brain scrambling setups and concepts, I simply could not care any less if you stick the landing.
using spam for wings sounds nightmarish tbh
December 13, 2024 at 9:00 PM
using spam for wings sounds nightmarish tbh
I hadn't even considered that. one of my favorite parts of darktide are the quips between the different classes and personality types. gonna have to play rivals solely for the banter.
December 6, 2024 at 6:11 PM
I hadn't even considered that. one of my favorite parts of darktide are the quips between the different classes and personality types. gonna have to play rivals solely for the banter.