@mattblocksma.bsky.social
All these ads saying "my wife cried when she opened this" thanks pal, I make my wife cry enough already.
December 17, 2025 at 1:08 PM
All these ads saying "my wife cried when she opened this" thanks pal, I make my wife cry enough already.
Why didn't Juwan tell Moore if you do the assault on the basketball court you get away with it?
December 11, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Why didn't Juwan tell Moore if you do the assault on the basketball court you get away with it?
I could see myself buying a mirror
September 29, 2025 at 3:15 AM
I could see myself buying a mirror
Reposted
Such an odd thing to read in the newspaper
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/03/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/03/u...
September 4, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Such an odd thing to read in the newspaper
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/03/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/03/u...
Reposted
happy labor day
September 1, 2025 at 11:19 AM
happy labor day
BIL: we shouldn't throw these paint cans in the dumpster, I'd feel like a real prick over the environment.
Me: do you have a place for this beer can?
BIL: I throw them in the trash lol
Me: do you have a place for this beer can?
BIL: I throw them in the trash lol
August 31, 2025 at 1:36 PM
BIL: we shouldn't throw these paint cans in the dumpster, I'd feel like a real prick over the environment.
Me: do you have a place for this beer can?
BIL: I throw them in the trash lol
Me: do you have a place for this beer can?
BIL: I throw them in the trash lol
BIL: Bill Burr sucks since he went woke
BIL: puts on Bowie and Queen
BIL: puts on Bowie and Queen
August 31, 2025 at 1:34 PM
BIL: Bill Burr sucks since he went woke
BIL: puts on Bowie and Queen
BIL: puts on Bowie and Queen
What's with all the juggalo shit this hotel?
June 1, 2025 at 11:26 PM
What's with all the juggalo shit this hotel?
I saw a BMW X8 with the badges shaved off. I knew it was a BMW X8, because they bought a custom license plate that said "BMW X8"
April 29, 2025 at 5:07 PM
I saw a BMW X8 with the badges shaved off. I knew it was a BMW X8, because they bought a custom license plate that said "BMW X8"
18 years of prostate cancer and 14 years of COPD. The toughest mother fucker I've ever met is free now. RIP pops.
March 17, 2025 at 3:45 AM
18 years of prostate cancer and 14 years of COPD. The toughest mother fucker I've ever met is free now. RIP pops.
Tonight there was a tiny lizard in my uncle's house and with very little effort I ushered him outside. Nobody saw it but I bet my uncle would be really grateful.
March 11, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Tonight there was a tiny lizard in my uncle's house and with very little effort I ushered him outside. Nobody saw it but I bet my uncle would be really grateful.
Why would anyone purchase priority boarding? The seats at the gate are better than the seats on the plane. We have assigned seats.
March 8, 2025 at 10:16 AM
Why would anyone purchase priority boarding? The seats at the gate are better than the seats on the plane. We have assigned seats.
The "I don't see color" crowd sure noticed pretty quickly that there wasn't any white people in the halftime show.
February 11, 2025 at 1:52 PM
The "I don't see color" crowd sure noticed pretty quickly that there wasn't any white people in the halftime show.
I bet Bernie Sanders would have beat Hillary if he spelled his name Burny.
January 23, 2025 at 11:06 AM
I bet Bernie Sanders would have beat Hillary if he spelled his name Burny.
Me walking out of the break room after taking last place in the chili cook off:
Hope none of you have to pass a drug test.
Hope none of you have to pass a drug test.
January 22, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Me walking out of the break room after taking last place in the chili cook off:
Hope none of you have to pass a drug test.
Hope none of you have to pass a drug test.
There's a Mac and Cheese Fest locally. It's gotta sound like an orgy in there, right?
January 21, 2025 at 4:33 PM
There's a Mac and Cheese Fest locally. It's gotta sound like an orgy in there, right?
Holy shit I didn't think it was this blatant wtf are we doing
January 21, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Holy shit I didn't think it was this blatant wtf are we doing
Tropical Smoothie is pretty good, but I just added a generous shot of tequila to it, and they need to open a bar because this is spectacular.
January 17, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Tropical Smoothie is pretty good, but I just added a generous shot of tequila to it, and they need to open a bar because this is spectacular.
Shit they're on to me
January 14, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Shit they're on to me
Maybe someone read Green Eggs and Ham to Trump and now he thinks he can lower egg prices by invading Greenland.
January 8, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Maybe someone read Green Eggs and Ham to Trump and now he thinks he can lower egg prices by invading Greenland.
The Gulf of Mexico will now simply be called X the everything gulf
January 8, 2025 at 1:38 AM
The Gulf of Mexico will now simply be called X the everything gulf
Me coming from the kitchen: babe, I don't know how to tell you this...
Wife: are we out of worcestershire sauce?
And that's what 15 years together is like.
Wife: are we out of worcestershire sauce?
And that's what 15 years together is like.
January 5, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Me coming from the kitchen: babe, I don't know how to tell you this...
Wife: are we out of worcestershire sauce?
And that's what 15 years together is like.
Wife: are we out of worcestershire sauce?
And that's what 15 years together is like.
We're all done leaving the house today, and I'm making a family favorite for dinner tonight...why not have 12 nights of cocktails and make it a journey?
January 3, 2025 at 8:54 PM
We're all done leaving the house today, and I'm making a family favorite for dinner tonight...why not have 12 nights of cocktails and make it a journey?
Reposted
