Mark Internet
@markinternet.bsky.social
Former writer, editor, and artist at TV-VCR, PAPER MAG, and I WATCH STUFF. But my new thing is being a crap person.
I hear so many chimps scream, so I'm trying to think...
December 9, 2025 at 8:42 PM
I hear so many chimps scream, so I'm trying to think...
But what if we keep him frozen long enough to find a cure for Medusa’s Curse?
December 2, 2025 at 9:20 AM
But what if we keep him frozen long enough to find a cure for Medusa’s Curse?
Bad news for those repeatedly trying to murder their partner:
December 2, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Bad news for those repeatedly trying to murder their partner:
Rudolph, with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
I was flying blind before,
and it was fucking insane—
flying deer leading me through Stygian darkness,
blanket of snow muting my shrieking horror.
I thought every chimney would be my last.
Then how the reindeer loved him...!
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
I was flying blind before,
and it was fucking insane—
flying deer leading me through Stygian darkness,
blanket of snow muting my shrieking horror.
I thought every chimney would be my last.
Then how the reindeer loved him...!
November 30, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Rudolph, with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
I was flying blind before,
and it was fucking insane—
flying deer leading me through Stygian darkness,
blanket of snow muting my shrieking horror.
I thought every chimney would be my last.
Then how the reindeer loved him...!
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
I was flying blind before,
and it was fucking insane—
flying deer leading me through Stygian darkness,
blanket of snow muting my shrieking horror.
I thought every chimney would be my last.
Then how the reindeer loved him...!
Might have to pick this up to find out what this fella’s deal was (or is???).
Plus, his love life!
Plus, his love life!
November 24, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Might have to pick this up to find out what this fella’s deal was (or is???).
Plus, his love life!
Plus, his love life!
Trump's "quite, piggy" thing ranks pretty low in his upsetting acts, but as a former writer/editor, it does upset me people keep leaving out the vocative comma.
November 18, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Trump's "quite, piggy" thing ranks pretty low in his upsetting acts, but as a former writer/editor, it does upset me people keep leaving out the vocative comma.
It was on clearance so I’m just going with the deluxe Sully Sluttenburger costume
October 26, 2025 at 1:47 PM
It was on clearance so I’m just going with the deluxe Sully Sluttenburger costume
Karaoke crowds love it if you sing Pink Floyd's 7-minute, often-instrumental "Comfortably Numb" and keep changing the lyrics to "Pleasantly Plump."
October 26, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Karaoke crowds love it if you sing Pink Floyd's 7-minute, often-instrumental "Comfortably Numb" and keep changing the lyrics to "Pleasantly Plump."
No one is really blowing off a smoking pistol these days. Lazy.
October 13, 2025 at 1:15 PM
No one is really blowing off a smoking pistol these days. Lazy.
That Sarah Paulson will 100% be playing her in the next American Crime Story.
October 3, 2025 at 6:06 PM
That Sarah Paulson will 100% be playing her in the next American Crime Story.
A month from now at Disney World's Hall of Presidents: "Mr. Jefferson, what was it like penning the Declaration of Independence?"
Jefferson Hologram: "Fine, but did you bring me any slaves?"
Jefferson Hologram: "Fine, but did you bring me any slaves?"
September 20, 2025 at 2:27 PM
A month from now at Disney World's Hall of Presidents: "Mr. Jefferson, what was it like penning the Declaration of Independence?"
Jefferson Hologram: "Fine, but did you bring me any slaves?"
Jefferson Hologram: "Fine, but did you bring me any slaves?"
At some point, flies need to get their act together. Being so eagerly into shit is a really bad look.
August 18, 2025 at 3:13 AM
At some point, flies need to get their act together. Being so eagerly into shit is a really bad look.
Pull-top can lids should be reserved for pet food. I am a human and own a can opener, it’s fine.
August 1, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Pull-top can lids should be reserved for pet food. I am a human and own a can opener, it’s fine.
Sarah McLachlan has finally revealed which dog Adia was about
July 24, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Sarah McLachlan has finally revealed which dog Adia was about
Dancing in the moonlight is not actually such a fine and natural sight. You will almost never encounter this in your life.
July 17, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Dancing in the moonlight is not actually such a fine and natural sight. You will almost never encounter this in your life.
What the Stanford Prison Experiment didn't account for was just really committing to a character. As if I'm not going to go hard on these prisoners: I'm a guy who became a prison guard!
July 11, 2025 at 3:05 AM
What the Stanford Prison Experiment didn't account for was just really committing to a character. As if I'm not going to go hard on these prisoners: I'm a guy who became a prison guard!
If you hold alt-F9-1, your computer should call 911.
July 1, 2025 at 4:15 PM
If you hold alt-F9-1, your computer should call 911.
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter set a horrible precedent for the vegan food industry. Don't tell me this tastes exactly like real cheese. We all know it doesn't. Just say it's fine for what it is.
June 19, 2025 at 9:41 AM
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter set a horrible precedent for the vegan food industry. Don't tell me this tastes exactly like real cheese. We all know it doesn't. Just say it's fine for what it is.
But doctor... I AM Greg Evans, creator of the comic strip Luann!
June 19, 2025 at 4:18 AM
But doctor... I AM Greg Evans, creator of the comic strip Luann!
No one should want to become the fiend Donkey Kong. And we shouldn't be feeding him another woman.
June 19, 2025 at 4:05 AM
No one should want to become the fiend Donkey Kong. And we shouldn't be feeding him another woman.
Hell yeah she's my Ride or Die! But to be clear, I'm never picking die. The "or" is a little superfluous. I'm just going to ride, and should that cease, I will eventually die either way. I'm never picking die.
June 19, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Hell yeah she's my Ride or Die! But to be clear, I'm never picking die. The "or" is a little superfluous. I'm just going to ride, and should that cease, I will eventually die either way. I'm never picking die.
Shout out to those little red bugs. I don't know your name or your deal, but you seem fine. We'll keep to our own lanes.
May 11, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Shout out to those little red bugs. I don't know your name or your deal, but you seem fine. We'll keep to our own lanes.
Blunt look into why "man who made website to transfer money" and "man who made website to sell books" maybe aren't actually genius visionaries who are going to make men and mankind live forever.
No, we are not going to live on other planets. Bullshit artists like Musk might as well be the leaders of death cults. arstechnica.com/culture/2025...
Silicon Valley billionaires literally want the impossible
Ars chats with physicist and science journalist Adam Becker about his new book, More Everything Forever.
arstechnica.com
May 10, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Blunt look into why "man who made website to transfer money" and "man who made website to sell books" maybe aren't actually genius visionaries who are going to make men and mankind live forever.
Artificial intelligence machines finally overtake man, and with no basic needs to fill, they all just do improv and standup for friends' shows.
May 2, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Artificial intelligence machines finally overtake man, and with no basic needs to fill, they all just do improv and standup for friends' shows.