Like fr do the pacifiers get taken by the paci fairy or what? Cuz we had like 1028363 pacis and there's NONE tonight when we need one.

Where do all the damn pacifiers go?
#momlife #momstruggles

Don't mine me, its almost 2am,i gotta be awake at 530am. But instead of sleeping I'm crying looking at pictures of my son from the first few months vs now 9 months later. And I can't believe I actually had a whole child. I literally gave birth to my mini me, and my best friend less than a year ago.

This the vibe tonight

Darn, got too close to someone again and they ended up making me regret it.

Pure Michigan 💜

i’m tired of living through major negative historic events

My son: *staring at me holding his empty bottle up*
Me: you hungy?
Him: eeeyeahhh *falls backwards*

*proceeds to watch me make his bottle like:*

"girls supporting girls"

ok make out with me then.🥹

I get so tired of repeating myself.

The flowers she really wants for valentine's day. 🤣🤣🤣

Me: *picks up bowl of spagetti*
Cat: *immediate sets butt where bowl was sitting in my area*
Me: Are you an impasta?
Cat:... A... What? O.o
Me: cuz you're not pasta and you're where my pasta belongs.
Cat: *walks away, done with my shit.*

If my cat doesnt question their life choices from my shenanigans for the day, I have failed.

My lock screen looked hilarious yesterday. 🤣

I'm working at 3 AM and my wife has blearily turned over to tell me the character portrait for Mothman that we're putting into Creepy Redneck Dinosaur Mansion 3 is "kind of a DILF".

She has now gone back to bed

Video games

Intrusive thoughts: my mom always kissed me on the lips until I was like 10, that must be why I like kissing girls.

Why am I like this? 🤣

Guys, yesterday, I needed a cord I’ve been holding onto for 10 years.

IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.

💜💜💜