Source?

I was born in Pennsylvania, where Commonwealth law dictates all children be baptized in Heinz ketchup before their first birthday

In the old days of Online it’d just be “we can’t pay but we can provide you with valuable exposure!”

Perfidia Beverly Hills? From the French 75?

Sissy Ogg, makes paintings on the walls of Home Cave that are very nasty and unfair to ME, the Great Huntsman Moon Spear, depicting the escape of many Bison. He never shows that the Berries he gathers are less and less every day, with many of them totally ROTTEN

I’m just now 2+ seasons into Downton Abbey finally!

“Clock Twink” bahahaha

Because Boies, too, is a giant piece of shit

David Boies is one of the most underrated consequentially awful people in the last half century of American public life

What’s with the clone mustache?

It has those little phyllo shreds and tahini in it as well. It’s objectively good but $20 for a bar is insane

Adding, it’s amazing that Boomers still view email/texts/DMs/etc as this ephemeral thing when in reality there’s nothing more permanent/intractable

Every single time! Epstein will write:

"porsecters h4arrsed me w/ sbuopenas al bcuase tr4ificing myners .due porcess much???no"

and then there's, like, the former president of a university or white house counsel or something replying:

"You're totally right, and also I love you with all my heart."

“He then tripped over his own tongue, which had rolled out of his mouth like a long rug”

“People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball asses. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.” - Rogers “Roger’s Horny” Hornsby

Prosecutors hate this one weird trick!