Logan Five
@logan-5.bsky.social
Time Magazine 2006 Person of the Year (tied)
It’s hard not to marvel at the cognitive dissonance of people who see a single anonymous post on a QAnon message board and conclude “Hillary Clinton is raping children and drinking their blood in this pizza parlor” while seeing Trump’s name all over these emails and concluding “This proves nothing.”
November 13, 2025 at 2:11 PM
It’s hard not to marvel at the cognitive dissonance of people who see a single anonymous post on a QAnon message board and conclude “Hillary Clinton is raping children and drinking their blood in this pizza parlor” while seeing Trump’s name all over these emails and concluding “This proves nothing.”
To the people of Chicago and Portland, there are things you can do even if you can’t be part of a demonstration.
If Trump’s Nazi goons come into your restaurant, don’t serve them. If they want to use your bathroom, don’t let them. If they want an Uber or taxi, don’t pick them up.
Good trouble ✊
If Trump’s Nazi goons come into your restaurant, don’t serve them. If they want to use your bathroom, don’t let them. If they want an Uber or taxi, don’t pick them up.
Good trouble ✊
October 6, 2025 at 4:32 PM
To the people of Chicago and Portland, there are things you can do even if you can’t be part of a demonstration.
If Trump’s Nazi goons come into your restaurant, don’t serve them. If they want to use your bathroom, don’t let them. If they want an Uber or taxi, don’t pick them up.
Good trouble ✊
If Trump’s Nazi goons come into your restaurant, don’t serve them. If they want to use your bathroom, don’t let them. If they want an Uber or taxi, don’t pick them up.
Good trouble ✊
It’s interesting. When a political figure is killed, the news almost always peppers their coverage showing that person’s most famous speeches.
JFK, RFK, MLK, Harvey Milk. . .
But no one can do that for Charlie Kirk, because everything he farted out of his mouth-hole was bigoted and hate-filled.
JFK, RFK, MLK, Harvey Milk. . .
But no one can do that for Charlie Kirk, because everything he farted out of his mouth-hole was bigoted and hate-filled.
September 14, 2025 at 3:59 PM
It’s interesting. When a political figure is killed, the news almost always peppers their coverage showing that person’s most famous speeches.
JFK, RFK, MLK, Harvey Milk. . .
But no one can do that for Charlie Kirk, because everything he farted out of his mouth-hole was bigoted and hate-filled.
JFK, RFK, MLK, Harvey Milk. . .
But no one can do that for Charlie Kirk, because everything he farted out of his mouth-hole was bigoted and hate-filled.
I’m setting the over/under on 1.5 years before we see a history textbook in Oklahoma public schools telling us that the North held all the slaves during the Civil War and the South freed them.
August 19, 2025 at 12:45 PM
I’m setting the over/under on 1.5 years before we see a history textbook in Oklahoma public schools telling us that the North held all the slaves during the Civil War and the South freed them.
I’m trying to think if anyone has ever been worse at cost/benefit analysis than Bill Maher. Because his show is essentially “I know that Trump is a traitorous rapist and pedophile who wants to end democracy and make us North Korea, but those liberals and their pronouns are even more annoying.”
August 16, 2025 at 1:45 PM
I’m trying to think if anyone has ever been worse at cost/benefit analysis than Bill Maher. Because his show is essentially “I know that Trump is a traitorous rapist and pedophile who wants to end democracy and make us North Korea, but those liberals and their pronouns are even more annoying.”
Who the fuck was the attorney at Columbia University who said “President Trump is embroiled in a massive pedophilia scandal, so this is the right time to cave, pay $200 million, and put him in charge of our admissions process going forward.”?
Great. Give the playground bully your lunch money.
Great. Give the playground bully your lunch money.
July 24, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Who the fuck was the attorney at Columbia University who said “President Trump is embroiled in a massive pedophilia scandal, so this is the right time to cave, pay $200 million, and put him in charge of our admissions process going forward.”?
Great. Give the playground bully your lunch money.
Great. Give the playground bully your lunch money.
I don’t even blame Trump at this point. I blame the cowards.
The Legislative Branch that refuses to be a check on his power.
The courts who have caved.
The universities and law firms who surrendered.
The media that has tried to appease him and normalize his insanity.
The list is endless.
The Legislative Branch that refuses to be a check on his power.
The courts who have caved.
The universities and law firms who surrendered.
The media that has tried to appease him and normalize his insanity.
The list is endless.
July 2, 2025 at 11:12 AM
I don’t even blame Trump at this point. I blame the cowards.
The Legislative Branch that refuses to be a check on his power.
The courts who have caved.
The universities and law firms who surrendered.
The media that has tried to appease him and normalize his insanity.
The list is endless.
The Legislative Branch that refuses to be a check on his power.
The courts who have caved.
The universities and law firms who surrendered.
The media that has tried to appease him and normalize his insanity.
The list is endless.
Reposted by Logan Five
Real world:
- Trump team trying to create a Reichstag moment.
- Trump telling military audience that LA is hellhole full of "animals"
- Officials in Calif trying both to calm things down, and stand up
PUNDIT world:
- Is it smart politics?
- Is Gavin running?
- Doesn't Trump look strong!
- Trump team trying to create a Reichstag moment.
- Trump telling military audience that LA is hellhole full of "animals"
- Officials in Calif trying both to calm things down, and stand up
PUNDIT world:
- Is it smart politics?
- Is Gavin running?
- Doesn't Trump look strong!
June 11, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Real world:
- Trump team trying to create a Reichstag moment.
- Trump telling military audience that LA is hellhole full of "animals"
- Officials in Calif trying both to calm things down, and stand up
PUNDIT world:
- Is it smart politics?
- Is Gavin running?
- Doesn't Trump look strong!
- Trump team trying to create a Reichstag moment.
- Trump telling military audience that LA is hellhole full of "animals"
- Officials in Calif trying both to calm things down, and stand up
PUNDIT world:
- Is it smart politics?
- Is Gavin running?
- Doesn't Trump look strong!
Reposted by Logan Five
Everything that’s happened over the past six months has been a response to an imaginary crisis. There is no immigrant invasion. No trade crisis. No scientific or governance crisis. Just people completely high off their own supply trying to fundamentally reorder society. None of this had to happen.
June 9, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Everything that’s happened over the past six months has been a response to an imaginary crisis. There is no immigrant invasion. No trade crisis. No scientific or governance crisis. Just people completely high off their own supply trying to fundamentally reorder society. None of this had to happen.
Mel Kiper sounds like a fucking stalker from a Lifetime TV movie talking about Shedeur Sanders right now 🤣
April 26, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Mel Kiper sounds like a fucking stalker from a Lifetime TV movie talking about Shedeur Sanders right now 🤣
The first election I voted in was 1988. Voted for Michael Dukakis.
Since then, all four Republican Presidencies have resulted in economic calamity.
All three Democratic Presidencies have resulted in record job creation and a record-high stock market.
This dipshit nation deserves its misery.
Since then, all four Republican Presidencies have resulted in economic calamity.
All three Democratic Presidencies have resulted in record job creation and a record-high stock market.
This dipshit nation deserves its misery.
April 3, 2025 at 12:54 PM
The first election I voted in was 1988. Voted for Michael Dukakis.
Since then, all four Republican Presidencies have resulted in economic calamity.
All three Democratic Presidencies have resulted in record job creation and a record-high stock market.
This dipshit nation deserves its misery.
Since then, all four Republican Presidencies have resulted in economic calamity.
All three Democratic Presidencies have resulted in record job creation and a record-high stock market.
This dipshit nation deserves its misery.
What do you say, Trump voters? We’re coming up on the 10th anniversary of him coming down the escalator for the first time. Nearly a DECADE in, are we Great yet? Is this the Great part? Did I miss it? Please make sure to wake me up when it happens. I don’t want to miss the official Great moment.
March 10, 2025 at 7:28 PM
What do you say, Trump voters? We’re coming up on the 10th anniversary of him coming down the escalator for the first time. Nearly a DECADE in, are we Great yet? Is this the Great part? Did I miss it? Please make sure to wake me up when it happens. I don’t want to miss the official Great moment.
Hey @nytpitchbot.bsky.social, do you happen to know anyone in the theater community? Because I can’t get “Pitchbot: The Musical” out of my mind. No snark here. I’m totally and completely serious, and this ground can be mined for comedy gold.
We can either laugh or cry these days.
Go for it 😊
We can either laugh or cry these days.
Go for it 😊
Bluesky
Heynytpitchbot.bsky.social
February 24, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Hey @nytpitchbot.bsky.social, do you happen to know anyone in the theater community? Because I can’t get “Pitchbot: The Musical” out of my mind. No snark here. I’m totally and completely serious, and this ground can be mined for comedy gold.
We can either laugh or cry these days.
Go for it 😊
We can either laugh or cry these days.
Go for it 😊
He first came down the escalator in 2015. So almost a decade in, I have a question for the Trump voters: Are we Great yet? Please let me know when the Great part happens, because I want to remember the moment.
But hang in there. Remember that billionaires love you and you’ll all be rich very soon.
But hang in there. Remember that billionaires love you and you’ll all be rich very soon.
February 19, 2025 at 1:59 PM
He first came down the escalator in 2015. So almost a decade in, I have a question for the Trump voters: Are we Great yet? Please let me know when the Great part happens, because I want to remember the moment.
But hang in there. Remember that billionaires love you and you’ll all be rich very soon.
But hang in there. Remember that billionaires love you and you’ll all be rich very soon.
Here’s how this crash investigation is going to go.
If the airplane pilot was black or a woman, it’s their fault.
If the helicopter pilot was black or a woman, it’s their fault.
If both are, then both will be at fault.
If neither are, then they’ll start looking for a black guy in the ATC tower.
If the airplane pilot was black or a woman, it’s their fault.
If the helicopter pilot was black or a woman, it’s their fault.
If both are, then both will be at fault.
If neither are, then they’ll start looking for a black guy in the ATC tower.
January 30, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Here’s how this crash investigation is going to go.
If the airplane pilot was black or a woman, it’s their fault.
If the helicopter pilot was black or a woman, it’s their fault.
If both are, then both will be at fault.
If neither are, then they’ll start looking for a black guy in the ATC tower.
If the airplane pilot was black or a woman, it’s their fault.
If the helicopter pilot was black or a woman, it’s their fault.
If both are, then both will be at fault.
If neither are, then they’ll start looking for a black guy in the ATC tower.
I’m totally bummed that the NFL’s emphasis on DEI will now require me to watch a Super Bowl with Patrick Mahomes vs Jalen Hurts when we could have had Carson Wentz vs Kenny Pickett.
January 30, 2025 at 1:57 PM
I’m totally bummed that the NFL’s emphasis on DEI will now require me to watch a Super Bowl with Patrick Mahomes vs Jalen Hurts when we could have had Carson Wentz vs Kenny Pickett.
He’s been President less than a week, and he’s expressed an interest in seizing Greenland and Canada, and launching wars against Panama and Colombia. And we’ve installed an alcoholic and woman-beater as Secretary of Defense.
But hey, the billionaires are getting richer.
Great job, dipshit voters.
But hey, the billionaires are getting richer.
Great job, dipshit voters.
January 27, 2025 at 12:17 AM
He’s been President less than a week, and he’s expressed an interest in seizing Greenland and Canada, and launching wars against Panama and Colombia. And we’ve installed an alcoholic and woman-beater as Secretary of Defense.
But hey, the billionaires are getting richer.
Great job, dipshit voters.
But hey, the billionaires are getting richer.
Great job, dipshit voters.
LETTERS FROM THE FRONT
Dearest Mother,
I write to you with a full heart on the eve of our Toronto Campaign. From our ditch, the men feast on venison, crullers from Tim Hortons, and field rations. May God allow me to be straight and true with my musket tomorrow.
Affectionately,
Jebediah
Dearest Mother,
I write to you with a full heart on the eve of our Toronto Campaign. From our ditch, the men feast on venison, crullers from Tim Hortons, and field rations. May God allow me to be straight and true with my musket tomorrow.
Affectionately,
Jebediah
January 8, 2025 at 1:57 PM
LETTERS FROM THE FRONT
Dearest Mother,
I write to you with a full heart on the eve of our Toronto Campaign. From our ditch, the men feast on venison, crullers from Tim Hortons, and field rations. May God allow me to be straight and true with my musket tomorrow.
Affectionately,
Jebediah
Dearest Mother,
I write to you with a full heart on the eve of our Toronto Campaign. From our ditch, the men feast on venison, crullers from Tim Hortons, and field rations. May God allow me to be straight and true with my musket tomorrow.
Affectionately,
Jebediah
If Chris Ballard keeps his job after this season, I can only conclude that he’s in possession of the most compromising photos of Jim Irsay known to man.
December 29, 2024 at 9:11 PM
If Chris Ballard keeps his job after this season, I can only conclude that he’s in possession of the most compromising photos of Jim Irsay known to man.
I confess that I’m struggling to find a viable political path forward for the Democrats when half the people in America enthusiastically vote to make themselves poorer, sicker and dumber — all while cheering on billionaires who don’t give a shit about them.
December 18, 2024 at 3:26 PM
I confess that I’m struggling to find a viable political path forward for the Democrats when half the people in America enthusiastically vote to make themselves poorer, sicker and dumber — all while cheering on billionaires who don’t give a shit about them.
There are 168 hours in a week. And all I ask is for the Colts not to do dumb shit for 3 of them.
December 16, 2024 at 12:01 AM
There are 168 hours in a week. And all I ask is for the Colts not to do dumb shit for 3 of them.
It’ll be interesting to see how this “Just be nice to tyrants and authoritarians and they’ll eventually stop being horrible human beings and inflicting misery on millions of people” strategy works out for Joe and Mika given that it’s succeeded [CHECKS NOTES] zero fucking times in human history.
November 18, 2024 at 4:16 PM
It’ll be interesting to see how this “Just be nice to tyrants and authoritarians and they’ll eventually stop being horrible human beings and inflicting misery on millions of people” strategy works out for Joe and Mika given that it’s succeeded [CHECKS NOTES] zero fucking times in human history.
Aaron Rodgers remains immunized against winning.
November 17, 2024 at 9:12 PM
Aaron Rodgers remains immunized against winning.