Liz Cook
@lizcookkc.bsky.social
Midwest writer who eats several meals a week. Work in Eater, Serious Eats, the BBC, Bon App, etc. Fun at haterade.substack.com
If they don’t, I will buy one on Christmas Eve and rip through it like a bobcat.
I feel like @lizcookkc.bsky.social's substack subscribers should get together to buy this for her for christmas.
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
November 15, 2025 at 6:04 PM
If they don’t, I will buy one on Christmas Eve and rip through it like a bobcat.
Don’t ever try to tell me the Midwest isn’t beautiful.
November 15, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Don’t ever try to tell me the Midwest isn’t beautiful.
I’m thinking about creating these terrible illustrations for all of my newsletters going forward.
Bad Art belongs to a completely different phylum than Slop Art. I suppose you could train an AI to do it, but why?
Bad Art belongs to a completely different phylum than Slop Art. I suppose you could train an AI to do it, but why?
We should all feel a desire to use our talents for a greater good. But we don't always have to use them for the *greatest* good.
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
Introducing: Flucker
Ruin your Vitamix with xanthan gum
haterade.substack.com
October 29, 2025 at 3:13 PM
I’m thinking about creating these terrible illustrations for all of my newsletters going forward.
Bad Art belongs to a completely different phylum than Slop Art. I suppose you could train an AI to do it, but why?
Bad Art belongs to a completely different phylum than Slop Art. I suppose you could train an AI to do it, but why?
Reposted by Liz Cook
I rarely llol (literally laugh out loud) as consistently as I do when indulging in Haterade.
We should all feel a desire to use our talents for a greater good. But we don't always have to use them for the *greatest* good.
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
Introducing: Flucker
Ruin your Vitamix with xanthan gum
haterade.substack.com
October 27, 2025 at 5:02 PM
I rarely llol (literally laugh out loud) as consistently as I do when indulging in Haterade.
Reposted by Liz Cook
I'm fairly certain @lizcookkc.bsky.social thinks I'm stalking her at this point, but nonetheless I need to tell you that if you're not reading Haterade, you should be. It will at least temporarily distract you from the wider world's horrors by leaving you gaping at the horrors Liz has cooked up.
We should all feel a desire to use our talents for a greater good. But we don't always have to use them for the *greatest* good.
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
Introducing: Flucker
Ruin your Vitamix with xanthan gum
haterade.substack.com
October 27, 2025 at 4:36 PM
I'm fairly certain @lizcookkc.bsky.social thinks I'm stalking her at this point, but nonetheless I need to tell you that if you're not reading Haterade, you should be. It will at least temporarily distract you from the wider world's horrors by leaving you gaping at the horrors Liz has cooked up.
We should all feel a desire to use our talents for a greater good. But we don't always have to use them for the *greatest* good.
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
Introducing: Flucker
Ruin your Vitamix with xanthan gum
haterade.substack.com
October 27, 2025 at 4:06 PM
We should all feel a desire to use our talents for a greater good. But we don't always have to use them for the *greatest* good.
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
Reposted by Liz Cook
This blog by @lizcookkc.bsky.social is maybe the best thing I have read in a while haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
The kicker made me spit out my coffee
The kicker made me spit out my coffee
Introducing: Flucker
Ruin your Vitamix with xanthan gum
haterade.substack.com
October 27, 2025 at 3:46 PM
This blog by @lizcookkc.bsky.social is maybe the best thing I have read in a while haterade.substack.com/p/introducin...
The kicker made me spit out my coffee
The kicker made me spit out my coffee
I wrote about the Funhouse Guillotine, a treasured family heirloom that allows me to perfectly shape the webbed feet of a squash goose.
Crinkle-cutting isn't just for fries. Those wavy blades add crunch, grip, and sauce-holding magic to everything from carrots to pickles. Here's how (and why) to make your food a little more corrugated.
The Vintage Gadget I Didn't Expect to Love—That Makes Veggies Crunchy and Deliciously Dippable
Crinkle-cutting isn't just for fries. Those wavy blades add crunch, grip, and sauce-holding magic to everything from carrots to pickles. Here's how (and why) to make your food a little more corrugated.
bit.ly
October 20, 2025 at 7:39 PM
I wrote about the Funhouse Guillotine, a treasured family heirloom that allows me to perfectly shape the webbed feet of a squash goose.
I wrote about xanthan, a beautiful name for a baby and an excellent tool for home cooks. Bonus: a recipe for Snot Gruel.
Xanthan gum isn’t just for fancy chefs—it's the lazy home cook's secret weapon for fixing sauces, dressings, and more. Here's how to use it.
I’m a Lazy Home Cook—This One Ingredient Makes Me Look Like a Pro
Xanthan gum isn’t just for fancy chefs—it's the lazy home cook's secret weapon for fixing sauces, dressings, and more. Here's how to use it.
bit.ly
October 9, 2025 at 8:37 PM
I wrote about xanthan, a beautiful name for a baby and an excellent tool for home cooks. Bonus: a recipe for Snot Gruel.
“Did you know chemo can damage your taste buds? That was news to me. Cancer is like an IRS audit, or the music of Ted Nugent—we all have some baseline awareness of it, but if we’re lucky, we never have to learn the particulars.”
haterade.substack.com/p/tastes-lik...
haterade.substack.com/p/tastes-lik...
Tastes Like Cancer
(And potato salad.)
haterade.substack.com
July 22, 2025 at 12:26 AM
“Did you know chemo can damage your taste buds? That was news to me. Cancer is like an IRS audit, or the music of Ted Nugent—we all have some baseline awareness of it, but if we’re lucky, we never have to learn the particulars.”
haterade.substack.com/p/tastes-lik...
haterade.substack.com/p/tastes-lik...
Reposted by Liz Cook
Here’s @lizcookkc.bsky.social from the top rope
July 21, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Here’s @lizcookkc.bsky.social from the top rope
Please make my recipe for PARTY CORN.
This creamed corn recipe puts real cream back in the spotlight, blending sweet summer corn with heavy cream, sour cream, red bell pepper—and a nod to Midwestern party dip—for a festive, velvety side dish.
Creamed Corn Deserves Better. This Recipe Proves It.
This creamed corn recipe puts real cream back in the spotlight, blending sweet summer corn with heavy cream, sour cream, red bell pepper—and a nod to Midwestern party dip—for a festive, velvety side dish.
bit.ly
July 10, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Please make my recipe for PARTY CORN.
Cleaning up the dream journal.
June 25, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Cleaning up the dream journal.
Have put out a bunch of recipes for Serious Eats lately, and I think you should make them!
1. Kansas City Steak Soup. Born in one KC steakhouse, diffused to many others, this is functionally a drunken, pinkies-up vegetable beef soup.
www.seriouseats.com/kansas-city-...
1. Kansas City Steak Soup. Born in one KC steakhouse, diffused to many others, this is functionally a drunken, pinkies-up vegetable beef soup.
www.seriouseats.com/kansas-city-...
Vegetable-Beef Soup With a Top Hat and a Wink
This Kansas City steak soup is teeming with browned morsels of steak, a glossy and tangy roux-thickened broth, and a simple medley of fresh vegetables. Its savory kick comes from a few somewhat surpri...
www.seriouseats.com
May 21, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Have put out a bunch of recipes for Serious Eats lately, and I think you should make them!
1. Kansas City Steak Soup. Born in one KC steakhouse, diffused to many others, this is functionally a drunken, pinkies-up vegetable beef soup.
www.seriouseats.com/kansas-city-...
1. Kansas City Steak Soup. Born in one KC steakhouse, diffused to many others, this is functionally a drunken, pinkies-up vegetable beef soup.
www.seriouseats.com/kansas-city-...
Are we on the cusp of Taco Pizza Summer? Many people are asking.
www.seriouseats.com/iowa-taco-pi...
Shoutout to @lizcookkc.bsky.social for the recipe (though we did not make our own crust and forgot the olives😩)
Shoutout to @lizcookkc.bsky.social for the recipe (though we did not make our own crust and forgot the olives😩)
This Midwestern Taco Pizza Is Maximalist in All the Right Ways
The gold standard for Iowa taco pizza is a crispy, chewy crust with the nostalgic toppings of a school cafeteria taco: a refried bean base, heavily seasoned ground beef, shredded iceberg lettuce that ...
www.seriouseats.com
May 3, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Are we on the cusp of Taco Pizza Summer? Many people are asking.
The era of self-serious sex symbols trying to min-max dinner is over. Welcome to the era of Big Goons Making Goon Food.
New Haterade:
haterade.substack.com/p/cooking-wi...
New Haterade:
haterade.substack.com/p/cooking-wi...
Cooking with Dom DeLuise
The dream of the ‘90s is alive and portly
haterade.substack.com
April 29, 2025 at 7:56 PM
The era of self-serious sex symbols trying to min-max dinner is over. Welcome to the era of Big Goons Making Goon Food.
New Haterade:
haterade.substack.com/p/cooking-wi...
New Haterade:
haterade.substack.com/p/cooking-wi...
Reposted by Liz Cook
I just think @lizcookkc.bsky.social is cool :) www.seriouseats.com/iowa-taco-pi...
April 28, 2025 at 5:46 PM
I just think @lizcookkc.bsky.social is cool :) www.seriouseats.com/iowa-taco-pi...
Chasing the vibes of the white Milwaukee dad pushing his son in a running stroller while performing a faithful but vigorous rendition of “Smack That” by Akon.
April 11, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Chasing the vibes of the white Milwaukee dad pushing his son in a running stroller while performing a faithful but vigorous rendition of “Smack That” by Akon.
Ran into Bob Dylan’s local catering team at a bar in Topeka last night and can confirm he ate chili and cinnamon rolls before the show. Midwest King.
March 31, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Ran into Bob Dylan’s local catering team at a bar in Topeka last night and can confirm he ate chili and cinnamon rolls before the show. Midwest King.
“Wonderful.” The lemon is puking out his internal organs and you call it wonderful.
March 30, 2025 at 1:59 PM
“Wonderful.” The lemon is puking out his internal organs and you call it wonderful.
At least Kim Reynolds is having a bad night, too.
March 24, 2025 at 2:14 AM
At least Kim Reynolds is having a bad night, too.
Thrilled to see Lady Gaga has finally released a song about Lucas, KS.
March 7, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Thrilled to see Lady Gaga has finally released a song about Lucas, KS.
ISO someone who can help me track down a copy of Windows 95.
February 19, 2025 at 4:06 PM
ISO someone who can help me track down a copy of Windows 95.
Each day, I get a little bit closer to achieving my lifelong dream of living in a Pizza Hut.
February 13, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Each day, I get a little bit closer to achieving my lifelong dream of living in a Pizza Hut.
To be frank, I’m surprised it took *two* Super Bowl wins for this team to develop a humiliation kink.
February 10, 2025 at 1:56 AM
To be frank, I’m surprised it took *two* Super Bowl wins for this team to develop a humiliation kink.