Am I drunk, you ask? That's between me and the empty bottle of sale prosecco acquired during today's venture outdoors

Is this related to my theory about how everyone is a little attracted to Hannibal Lecter because he's terrifyingly competent? Maybe. Shut up. Don't you kink shame me.

It's linked to the demand for "men's spaces" and services. Other people don't have these things because they were gifted to us out of pity, we had to work for them because we had nowhere else. No-one told us how to grow up. We just... Had to.

If you suggest they help out, they say but you haven't told me to! And if I try, you tell me I'm doing it wrong! Because they were never expected to just... Figure it out. So they don't realise that they even could be an adult without a woman's support or instruction, and constant emotional labour.

I don't even identify as a woman, they don't even realise they're coming to me asking me to fix their life. They just see tits and the patriarchal messaging kicks in: I feel bad, make it better.

I can't change the settings because I wasn't the person who opened it so don't have admin rights, because you now need an Outlook account to turn the damn thing on. What's the option here, every workplace builds their own computers & runs Linux? Are we forced back to pen, paper, filing cabinets?

It genuinely worries me that the publicity around glorified chatbots has been so effective it may already be acting like a tower of Babel. Prescriptivism isn't the answer, but if we don't have an understanding of language we can't communicate effectively.

Man we get beer, football, and pussy in the great lib conservative divorce?

In true dyke fashion, this has reminded me of the time a girl I had a crush on cable tied my wrist, which I kept for 3 years. BTW, surgeons do not appreciate having to work around cable ties for major operations.

Ask me how long it took me to realise she also had a crush on me.

Working name Nocturnal Emissions (everyone should be grateful I'm not a venture capitalist)