Lyndon Baines Johnson
@lbj.bsky.social
I’m the 36th president of the United States
I'm back wait no I'm not I'm still dead
February 16, 2024 at 7:48 PM
I'm back wait no I'm not I'm still dead
I’m smoking on that shit that beat Bobby Flay
September 20, 2023 at 8:51 AM
I’m smoking on that shit that beat Bobby Flay
She Lyndon on my Baines til I Johnson fuck so close I'm gonna figure it out guys I promise
September 17, 2023 at 5:24 AM
She Lyndon on my Baines til I Johnson fuck so close I'm gonna figure it out guys I promise
Can’t have a kid because if I did I’d make them watch 8 mile like it’s game tape
August 12, 2023 at 4:02 AM
Can’t have a kid because if I did I’d make them watch 8 mile like it’s game tape
Tried to ask a gen z if there were any new Pokémon (bonding with the youth) and they called me a slur. I shall respond by driving the entire housing market into the world trade centers
August 7, 2023 at 4:09 PM
Tried to ask a gen z if there were any new Pokémon (bonding with the youth) and they called me a slur. I shall respond by driving the entire housing market into the world trade centers
Couldn’t be a parent today. What if I tried to discipline my kid and they turned me into a wojack. You can’t even beat them anymore when they get the better of you. (I would beat them)
July 27, 2023 at 5:17 AM
Couldn’t be a parent today. What if I tried to discipline my kid and they turned me into a wojack. You can’t even beat them anymore when they get the better of you. (I would beat them)
@wellsmargo.bsky.social doesn’t even know who the peaky blinders man is. No idea what bomb everyone is talking about. Has never heard of Jews. Maybe too young for me?
July 23, 2023 at 5:44 PM
@wellsmargo.bsky.social doesn’t even know who the peaky blinders man is. No idea what bomb everyone is talking about. Has never heard of Jews. Maybe too young for me?
Whoever turned Sierra Mist into Starry should be shot
July 23, 2023 at 4:49 PM
Whoever turned Sierra Mist into Starry should be shot
Waiting for Ford truck month to coincide with Ramadan. That would be sick
July 22, 2023 at 10:00 PM
Waiting for Ford truck month to coincide with Ramadan. That would be sick
Chrysler? I barely even Dodge Jeep Ram her
July 22, 2023 at 9:58 PM
Chrysler? I barely even Dodge Jeep Ram her
How much plastic can an adult man eat before it’s like a “big deal”
July 22, 2023 at 4:50 AM
How much plastic can an adult man eat before it’s like a “big deal”
Fucked up to stop drinking and not have an excuse to send my friends the dumb shit I’m watching stone sober
July 22, 2023 at 1:27 AM
Fucked up to stop drinking and not have an excuse to send my friends the dumb shit I’m watching stone sober
Drunk at work? Annoying, Sad
Gun at work? Scary, unnerving
Drunk at work with a gun? Hilarious, terrifying, potentially newsworthy
Gun at work? Scary, unnerving
Drunk at work with a gun? Hilarious, terrifying, potentially newsworthy
July 20, 2023 at 7:37 PM
Drunk at work? Annoying, Sad
Gun at work? Scary, unnerving
Drunk at work with a gun? Hilarious, terrifying, potentially newsworthy
Gun at work? Scary, unnerving
Drunk at work with a gun? Hilarious, terrifying, potentially newsworthy
Gonna be some real Baudrilliard level stuff when Diet Coke has to come up with artificial aspartame flavor because of the cancer stuff
July 20, 2023 at 4:24 PM
Gonna be some real Baudrilliard level stuff when Diet Coke has to come up with artificial aspartame flavor because of the cancer stuff
Reposted by Lyndon Baines Johnson
The wilderness sucks ass, make a building
July 16, 2023 at 5:25 AM
The wilderness sucks ass, make a building
Reposted by Lyndon Baines Johnson
Reposted by Lyndon Baines Johnson
Demanding an "actual trust and safety team" when the reported post was handled in 40 minutes.
On twitter you can report j00kill3r88 and a week later you'll get an email saying they didn't break any rules
On twitter you can report j00kill3r88 and a week later you'll get an email saying they didn't break any rules
July 16, 2023 at 3:46 PM
Demanding an "actual trust and safety team" when the reported post was handled in 40 minutes.
On twitter you can report j00kill3r88 and a week later you'll get an email saying they didn't break any rules
On twitter you can report j00kill3r88 and a week later you'll get an email saying they didn't break any rules
They asked me to leave this midwestern german restaurant just cause I had a Michael Jordan mustache and told me “he doesn’t even have that anymore sir you need to leave” I told em they ain’t real fans
July 16, 2023 at 11:02 PM
They asked me to leave this midwestern german restaurant just cause I had a Michael Jordan mustache and told me “he doesn’t even have that anymore sir you need to leave” I told em they ain’t real fans
Man I love how everyone just agreed to be doing all 9/11 jokes all the time
July 16, 2023 at 10:59 PM
Man I love how everyone just agreed to be doing all 9/11 jokes all the time
Reposted by Lyndon Baines Johnson
hey all! if you follow me on twitter, you know the drill. as more and more people join this platform, i think it would be valuable to gather some demographic info. please repost this if you are a total dipshit, and simply hit the like button if you're only kind of a dipshit. thanks!
July 15, 2023 at 4:49 PM
hey all! if you follow me on twitter, you know the drill. as more and more people join this platform, i think it would be valuable to gather some demographic info. please repost this if you are a total dipshit, and simply hit the like button if you're only kind of a dipshit. thanks!
Me and the gf just did the lady and the tramp scene but with a Costco hot dog and the lady behind us started having a seizure
July 15, 2023 at 11:26 PM
Me and the gf just did the lady and the tramp scene but with a Costco hot dog and the lady behind us started having a seizure
It’s a shame every girl who liked dr who has bpd now
July 15, 2023 at 10:27 PM
It’s a shame every girl who liked dr who has bpd now
I hope you all are ready to hear about a lot about my dick
July 15, 2023 at 8:51 PM
I hope you all are ready to hear about a lot about my dick