This little old woman is cheese grating the fuck out of my feet rn
June 4, 2023 at 3:54 PM
This little old woman is cheese grating the fuck out of my feet rn
My edible transported me to the renaissance last night
May 16, 2023 at 5:53 PM
My edible transported me to the renaissance last night
Do you ever get so high that you have visions like That’s so Raven? But instead of looking into the future it’s obscure, intrusive thoughts
May 16, 2023 at 5:53 PM
Do you ever get so high that you have visions like That’s so Raven? But instead of looking into the future it’s obscure, intrusive thoughts
Why am I the only one popping my cornucopia right now??
May 10, 2023 at 2:56 AM
Why am I the only one popping my cornucopia right now??
Taking a dump in the office bathrooms feels like a gamble with god
May 9, 2023 at 2:25 PM
Taking a dump in the office bathrooms feels like a gamble with god
Was at a party the other night where I ran into a loosely acquainted friend who I haven’t seen in years. Within 3 minutes of being at said party
Them: “hi!! So good to see you!!! I fucked your ex!!”
Me: “hi! Omg! congrats!”
WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY??? I JUST STOOD THERE LIKE
Them: “hi!! So good to see you!!! I fucked your ex!!”
Me: “hi! Omg! congrats!”
WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY??? I JUST STOOD THERE LIKE
May 9, 2023 at 1:01 PM
Was at a party the other night where I ran into a loosely acquainted friend who I haven’t seen in years. Within 3 minutes of being at said party
Them: “hi!! So good to see you!!! I fucked your ex!!”
Me: “hi! Omg! congrats!”
WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY??? I JUST STOOD THERE LIKE
Them: “hi!! So good to see you!!! I fucked your ex!!”
Me: “hi! Omg! congrats!”
WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY??? I JUST STOOD THERE LIKE
Hearing ppl on this platform refer to the other app as the Bird app has me keeled over. It sounds like we’re criticizing an app dedicated to bird watchers who utilize their phone to confirm the identity of the birds they’re looking at. Does such an app exist? I refuse to research
May 9, 2023 at 12:55 PM
Hearing ppl on this platform refer to the other app as the Bird app has me keeled over. It sounds like we’re criticizing an app dedicated to bird watchers who utilize their phone to confirm the identity of the birds they’re looking at. Does such an app exist? I refuse to research
WHY DO MY FARTS SMELL LIKE SAUSAGES??? HELP
May 4, 2023 at 3:41 PM
WHY DO MY FARTS SMELL LIKE SAUSAGES??? HELP
I’m a prude in practice, but my soul is a raging slut
May 4, 2023 at 3:40 PM
I’m a prude in practice, but my soul is a raging slut
Hey baby, have you ever been jackhammered before?🫦
May 2, 2023 at 5:10 PM
Hey baby, have you ever been jackhammered before?🫦
Yeah you might be mentally stable but I’m about to eat Mac n cheese with farm animal shaped noodles
May 1, 2023 at 10:08 PM
Yeah you might be mentally stable but I’m about to eat Mac n cheese with farm animal shaped noodles
Reposted by Meatball Sub
What the hell thread feels like.
May 1, 2023 at 3:20 PM
What the hell thread feels like.
I like to spend my Monday afternoons screaming into the void
May 1, 2023 at 9:16 PM
I like to spend my Monday afternoons screaming into the void
I’m not a smart technologically competent skeeter like most of you, think of me more like this dude
May 1, 2023 at 9:08 PM
I’m not a smart technologically competent skeeter like most of you, think of me more like this dude
Every now and then I get the reptilian urge to swallow eggs whole
April 30, 2023 at 3:09 PM
Every now and then I get the reptilian urge to swallow eggs whole
Some of you people on this platform are much more smarter than me and I’m having a hard time playing Mr Smart man rn so pls show some mercy to the silly goofy worms like me
April 29, 2023 at 5:45 AM
Some of you people on this platform are much more smarter than me and I’m having a hard time playing Mr Smart man rn so pls show some mercy to the silly goofy worms like me
Reposted by Meatball Sub
I CAN’T, I’M NOT ALLOWED OUTSIDE
April 29, 2023 at 4:31 AM
I CAN’T, I’M NOT ALLOWED OUTSIDE
I’m getting drunk on a plane! Except I’m not on a plane. I’m in an Uber. I’m drunk in an Uber.
April 29, 2023 at 4:31 AM
I’m getting drunk on a plane! Except I’m not on a plane. I’m in an Uber. I’m drunk in an Uber.
The bladder is simply gods way of keeping humanity humbled. Forcing us to hold our piss in the worse scenarios
April 29, 2023 at 4:30 AM
The bladder is simply gods way of keeping humanity humbled. Forcing us to hold our piss in the worse scenarios
A fun little drink makes the voices go away
April 28, 2023 at 7:56 PM
A fun little drink makes the voices go away
Newfound fear: being the stinkiest person on a plane
April 28, 2023 at 5:00 PM
Newfound fear: being the stinkiest person on a plane
Silverback gorillas are onto something
April 28, 2023 at 4:31 PM
Silverback gorillas are onto something
I CANT FEEL MY TOES
April 28, 2023 at 4:13 PM
I CANT FEEL MY TOES