“I’d get away with it too, if it weren’t for you metaling kids!” says the villain before turning into solid gold in my new weekly crime-solving cartoon, The Mighty Midas Touchers.
January 8, 2026 at 11:03 PM
“I’d get away with it too, if it weren’t for you metaling kids!” says the villain before turning into solid gold in my new weekly crime-solving cartoon, The Mighty Midas Touchers.
My child created her own elf on the shelf out of desperation. This thing is this close 🤏 to being brought to life by a child’s wish.
December 19, 2025 at 3:01 AM
My child created her own elf on the shelf out of desperation. This thing is this close 🤏 to being brought to life by a child’s wish.
My daughter asked me to draw a heart with girl things
December 10, 2025 at 2:51 AM
My daughter asked me to draw a heart with girl things
We need to start measuring the size of parade balloons in Trojan soldiers.
November 27, 2025 at 3:35 PM
We need to start measuring the size of parade balloons in Trojan soldiers.
Imagine the chitinous bone prison of Dwayne Johnson surrounding your body in an ever tightening grip. That’s why The Rock is harder to break out of than Alcatraz.
November 25, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Imagine the chitinous bone prison of Dwayne Johnson surrounding your body in an ever tightening grip. That’s why The Rock is harder to break out of than Alcatraz.
The game is afoot, and I’m selling feet pics.
November 20, 2025 at 2:45 AM
The game is afoot, and I’m selling feet pics.
Cork screw is invented:
“This is going to save me a lot of stress” says wine guy who’s afraid of pig penises.
“This is going to save me a lot of stress” says wine guy who’s afraid of pig penises.
November 11, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Cork screw is invented:
“This is going to save me a lot of stress” says wine guy who’s afraid of pig penises.
“This is going to save me a lot of stress” says wine guy who’s afraid of pig penises.
POV: you are cheese
November 11, 2025 at 1:46 AM
POV: you are cheese
THC gummies make you high
THicC gummies make you wide
THicC gummies make you wide
November 8, 2025 at 9:39 PM
THC gummies make you high
THicC gummies make you wide
THicC gummies make you wide
Reposted by Lasersapien
I got this ad on Reddit for AI slop that starts funny purely because the bandage doesn't cover his ear and a human needed to look through their promo images and pick one, but I digress.
The hook here is *actual physical objects*!
The hook here is *actual physical objects*!
October 25, 2025 at 4:39 PM
I got this ad on Reddit for AI slop that starts funny purely because the bandage doesn't cover his ear and a human needed to look through their promo images and pick one, but I digress.
The hook here is *actual physical objects*!
The hook here is *actual physical objects*!
Paint can make things look like things that are different
Sometimes when you whiff them, you wish that you didn’t
Two, maybe more of your braincells unlitted
I wonder if this is how OJ, acquitted
Sometimes when you whiff them, you wish that you didn’t
Two, maybe more of your braincells unlitted
I wonder if this is how OJ, acquitted
October 12, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Paint can make things look like things that are different
Sometimes when you whiff them, you wish that you didn’t
Two, maybe more of your braincells unlitted
I wonder if this is how OJ, acquitted
Sometimes when you whiff them, you wish that you didn’t
Two, maybe more of your braincells unlitted
I wonder if this is how OJ, acquitted
Onions make us cry
With strong pungent gases
But if onions were movies
They’d fill seats with asses
With strong pungent gases
But if onions were movies
They’d fill seats with asses
October 12, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Onions make us cry
With strong pungent gases
But if onions were movies
They’d fill seats with asses
With strong pungent gases
But if onions were movies
They’d fill seats with asses
The Oregon Trail pioneered multiverse theory.
October 5, 2025 at 1:04 PM
The Oregon Trail pioneered multiverse theory.
Why not build the whole plane out of burning rubble?
October 1, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Why not build the whole plane out of burning rubble?
Witches! Hexes from the fairer sexes!
October 1, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Witches! Hexes from the fairer sexes!
Gabby’s Dollhouse’s worst contribution to society is the idea that cupcakes can shit themselves, and that it stinks.
September 27, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Gabby’s Dollhouse’s worst contribution to society is the idea that cupcakes can shit themselves, and that it stinks.
A public bathroom rating site called Litterboxd
September 25, 2025 at 6:10 PM
A public bathroom rating site called Litterboxd
Well, I think I can put this game down for a while
September 23, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Well, I think I can put this game down for a while
The hardest part of being #1 is seeing the faces of the other children as I leave the arena
September 20, 2025 at 12:02 AM
The hardest part of being #1 is seeing the faces of the other children as I leave the arena
Reposted by Lasersapien
There has been a rush among centrists like Gavin Newsom and Ezra Klein to brush over the hateful life of Charlie Kirk and valorize the man.
Let me be clear, killing Charlie Kirk was wrong and abhorrent.
We must condemn murder without sanitizing a man who built his empire on hate.
My latest piece.
Let me be clear, killing Charlie Kirk was wrong and abhorrent.
We must condemn murder without sanitizing a man who built his empire on hate.
My latest piece.
We Must Not Posthumously Sanitize Charlie Kirk's Hateful Life
Influential anti-LGBTQ+ activist Charlie Kirk was assassinated on Wednesday. While condemning violence is something most can get behind, sanitization of his hate has gone too far.
www.erininthemorning.com
September 11, 2025 at 6:03 PM
There has been a rush among centrists like Gavin Newsom and Ezra Klein to brush over the hateful life of Charlie Kirk and valorize the man.
Let me be clear, killing Charlie Kirk was wrong and abhorrent.
We must condemn murder without sanitizing a man who built his empire on hate.
My latest piece.
Let me be clear, killing Charlie Kirk was wrong and abhorrent.
We must condemn murder without sanitizing a man who built his empire on hate.
My latest piece.
Bluey’s parents naming her Bluey Heeler is like me naming my kid Huey Mann.
August 31, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Bluey’s parents naming her Bluey Heeler is like me naming my kid Huey Mann.
Trump signs into law the One Big Beautiful Month Bill, changing calendars to a single 365 day month called Trumptobuary
August 28, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Trump signs into law the One Big Beautiful Month Bill, changing calendars to a single 365 day month called Trumptobuary
Monarch butterflies taste gross but viceroy butterflies gotta be super delicious right?
August 27, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Monarch butterflies taste gross but viceroy butterflies gotta be super delicious right?
Why do windows have to be installed? They are a hole. Just don’t build the wall there, guys.
August 22, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Why do windows have to be installed? They are a hole. Just don’t build the wall there, guys.