Kylie Jordan
@kylie-jordan.bsky.social
Sci-Fi Nerd, Adrenaline Junkie, Crafty, For Rent, Dad Jokes, Dinosaur Tamer, Goofball, Meme Curator, Animal Lover, Ostrobogulous, Positivity, Wholesome Whore, California Girl
https://linktr.ee/Lavishfixation
https://linktr.ee/Lavishfixation
I just found out there is a private club in my town with a killer chef, now I need to become the coolest person in my town so I don’t have to pay the crazy fees.
I feel like I got this.
I feel like I got this.
November 18, 2025 at 4:18 AM
I just found out there is a private club in my town with a killer chef, now I need to become the coolest person in my town so I don’t have to pay the crazy fees.
I feel like I got this.
I feel like I got this.
Hey I figured out how to imbed laser cut designs directly rather than use foils. This was my first attempt, I totally miffed the second one but I think I got it now.
November 17, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Hey I figured out how to imbed laser cut designs directly rather than use foils. This was my first attempt, I totally miffed the second one but I think I got it now.
Well that was awkward.
Just explained to my prude cousin I pay for my book/audiobook obsession with my onlyfans. 😝
She’s probably still slack-jawed and wide-eyed with confusion and shock.
I’m guessing saying “Jeez Jennifer it’s not like I’m buying crack, relax. Books are expensive.” didn’t help. 😂
Just explained to my prude cousin I pay for my book/audiobook obsession with my onlyfans. 😝
She’s probably still slack-jawed and wide-eyed with confusion and shock.
I’m guessing saying “Jeez Jennifer it’s not like I’m buying crack, relax. Books are expensive.” didn’t help. 😂
November 14, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Well that was awkward.
Just explained to my prude cousin I pay for my book/audiobook obsession with my onlyfans. 😝
She’s probably still slack-jawed and wide-eyed with confusion and shock.
I’m guessing saying “Jeez Jennifer it’s not like I’m buying crack, relax. Books are expensive.” didn’t help. 😂
Just explained to my prude cousin I pay for my book/audiobook obsession with my onlyfans. 😝
She’s probably still slack-jawed and wide-eyed with confusion and shock.
I’m guessing saying “Jeez Jennifer it’s not like I’m buying crack, relax. Books are expensive.” didn’t help. 😂
Checked my PO Box and found this adorable keychain!!
No note or notice on who sent it so whoever you are THANK YOU 😊
No note or notice on who sent it so whoever you are THANK YOU 😊
November 12, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Checked my PO Box and found this adorable keychain!!
No note or notice on who sent it so whoever you are THANK YOU 😊
No note or notice on who sent it so whoever you are THANK YOU 😊
Reposted by Kylie Jordan
6:30 is the best time on a clock hands down
November 11, 2025 at 8:12 PM
6:30 is the best time on a clock hands down
There’s only one thing that makes me throw up…
🎯
A dart board on a ceiling.
🎯
A dart board on a ceiling.
November 11, 2025 at 7:31 PM
There’s only one thing that makes me throw up…
🎯
A dart board on a ceiling.
🎯
A dart board on a ceiling.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octupus?
Most would say ten tickles, but it’s actually 12 tickles.
Don’t forget the test-tickles.
Most would say ten tickles, but it’s actually 12 tickles.
Don’t forget the test-tickles.
November 11, 2025 at 7:29 PM
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octupus?
Most would say ten tickles, but it’s actually 12 tickles.
Don’t forget the test-tickles.
Most would say ten tickles, but it’s actually 12 tickles.
Don’t forget the test-tickles.
Made my first gummies!
These were made with pomegranate and kumquat-yuzu hybrid juice.
These were made with pomegranate and kumquat-yuzu hybrid juice.
November 9, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Made my first gummies!
These were made with pomegranate and kumquat-yuzu hybrid juice.
These were made with pomegranate and kumquat-yuzu hybrid juice.
Today I discovered the sounds porcupines make and they think I’m a better person now.
November 6, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Today I discovered the sounds porcupines make and they think I’m a better person now.
In case no one told you…
November 5, 2025 at 4:56 PM
In case no one told you…
I’m on a re-listening (audiobooks) kick and I think it’s funny because I just finished the Bobaverse series again and realized there is a ton of “Skippy” jokes I didn’t get before because I started listening to the Expeditionary Force series after I finished the series the first time. Oops 😆
November 5, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I’m on a re-listening (audiobooks) kick and I think it’s funny because I just finished the Bobaverse series again and realized there is a ton of “Skippy” jokes I didn’t get before because I started listening to the Expeditionary Force series after I finished the series the first time. Oops 😆
You know whats weird, naked is pronounced naked and baked is pronounced baked instead of baked.
November 4, 2025 at 4:34 PM
You know whats weird, naked is pronounced naked and baked is pronounced baked instead of baked.
This is so time consuming. I’m kinda glad there was a small harvest this year. I’m not even a 1/4 of the way through my pile.
November 2, 2025 at 11:43 PM
This is so time consuming. I’m kinda glad there was a small harvest this year. I’m not even a 1/4 of the way through my pile.
I just realized/internalized Frankenstein‘s monster doesn’t have a name and now I’m sad.
Imagine what he went through and everyone just calls him by the name of the person who broke his heart. Rude.
I will call him Liam or Matteo… what’s a good Swiss name?
Imagine what he went through and everyone just calls him by the name of the person who broke his heart. Rude.
I will call him Liam or Matteo… what’s a good Swiss name?
November 2, 2025 at 5:59 AM
I just realized/internalized Frankenstein‘s monster doesn’t have a name and now I’m sad.
Imagine what he went through and everyone just calls him by the name of the person who broke his heart. Rude.
I will call him Liam or Matteo… what’s a good Swiss name?
Imagine what he went through and everyone just calls him by the name of the person who broke his heart. Rude.
I will call him Liam or Matteo… what’s a good Swiss name?
Someone spotted this at the Fresno airport 😂
November 1, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Someone spotted this at the Fresno airport 😂
Woke up to a bunch of post from people in my community complaining that they left candy out and one kid took it all so I chose violence 🤬
November 1, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Woke up to a bunch of post from people in my community complaining that they left candy out and one kid took it all so I chose violence 🤬
In Norwegian “fart” means speed. I’m not mature enough to visit Norway.
October 30, 2025 at 3:46 PM
In Norwegian “fart” means speed. I’m not mature enough to visit Norway.
My uncle had the full broadcast and would play it every year or so when I was really little. Probably a contributing factor in how I came to love science fiction lol
October 30, 1938
A young Orson Welles broadcast a dramatization of the
H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds".
A young Orson Welles broadcast a dramatization of the
H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds".
October 30, 2025 at 1:35 PM
My uncle had the full broadcast and would play it every year or so when I was really little. Probably a contributing factor in how I came to love science fiction lol
I keep telling my family my mom needs to be in a care facility but they are like “she’s fine”… well today she narcan’d herself because she thought it was nasal spray 🤦♀️
I don’t want to be the bad guy but I’m not getting any support. I wish this was easier. 🥺 Any advice?
I don’t want to be the bad guy but I’m not getting any support. I wish this was easier. 🥺 Any advice?
October 30, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I keep telling my family my mom needs to be in a care facility but they are like “she’s fine”… well today she narcan’d herself because she thought it was nasal spray 🤦♀️
I don’t want to be the bad guy but I’m not getting any support. I wish this was easier. 🥺 Any advice?
I don’t want to be the bad guy but I’m not getting any support. I wish this was easier. 🥺 Any advice?
Walking by my neighbors house this morning and noticed that their sprinkler system has a massive crack, I have everything to fix it but they don’t speak English so today I get to see how well google translate works 😆 Wish me luck!
October 29, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Walking by my neighbors house this morning and noticed that their sprinkler system has a massive crack, I have everything to fix it but they don’t speak English so today I get to see how well google translate works 😆 Wish me luck!
Reposted by Kylie Jordan
What do you call a surprise attack by a group of pigs? A hambush.
October 29, 2025 at 2:31 AM
What do you call a surprise attack by a group of pigs? A hambush.
