i explored an overgrown cemetery with my best friend, on a road trip to the city

if humans want to wrestle so bad, they should just wrestle each other. they can even hire strongmen to go up against competitors, if they're wanting a genuine challenge. leave unconsenting animals out of it

step one; easily locate obscure supplies that i haven't used in years

step two: get supplies ready

step three, wander off to do something unrelated and totally forget about the project i was just about to do. jfc my brain

barging into plato's school, holding up mr potato head, and yelling BEHOLD, A MAN

for movies i watched this year, i can't pick between 2. 'lisa frankenstein' was just so silly and dramatic and fun; 'my dead friend zoe' took a sledgehammer to my heart in a good way

when i was a kid, me and my sister were obsessed with the idea of Midnight Feasts at Slumber Parties™ but our parents would've noticed all their snacks depleted, so we settled for snacking on the sunflower seeds meant for the birds. lord we thought we were so cool 😂

a bass GUITAR player going off about how his bass GUITAR, a member of the GUITAR family, was ABSOLUTELY NOT A GUITAR. he was so angry and i can't bring myself to listen to that band again. loved em, but what a fuckin cunt, and a dipshit to boot

90% sure it was just my roo, wilson. it was the exact place he loves to hang out, but i haven't seen him in a few months and wasn't expecting him

100% yes to this. i've been telling my doctors the same things for 30 years, and they all agree there is something seriously wrong in my body, run some tests which come up blank, then forget about me. every time i go back, i'm worse again, but seeing doctors isn't a guarantee of answers or help.

if i was getting bridal photos in a bride-heavy location, i would 100% be going around to the other brides like "group photo of the gals, yes? please?"

everyone in earshot looked very concerned until i kept reading out loud, "oh, ok, if a major emergency happens, and there's a crush of people, they're worried the air may not REMAIN breathable, and they have limited access to help"

better put ragdolls on the list, too. mine never misbehaves UNLESS i don't go to bed precisely when he tells me to. at that point, he calmly walks over to the TV and tries to unplug it from the wall using his teeth. he's definitely calculating enough to be evil

literally the only thing that gets me out of bed is a desperate need to pee. after learning this about myself, i now drink a ton of water right before going to bed, except on the days i forget, and consequently stay in bed far longer than i shouldve

oh my god she looks like a little teddy bear just chillin 😍